Anyone feel like you can't handle anymore kids other than the twins?

I'd love to have a 3rd child but I feel as though I am physically and mentally exhausted taking care of my girls full time. Does it get any easier or will I always feel this way? Once they become more independent, do you think I could handle another one??

 

I'd love to have a 3rd child but I feel as though I am physically and mentally exhausted taking care of my girls full time. Does it get any easier or will I always feel this way? Once they become more independent, do you think I could handle another one??

 

I think I can handle what comes at me, but it is very overwhelming at times! I wonder *how* would I do it if I had another one (or two). It would just get done! My two have been a handful since birth. Not too happy babies. I go back & forth as to feeling whether or not I can handle more.

 

I think humans are built to be able to handle anything that comes their way when it comes their way. I can't imagine how a third child would be and when I think about it I either idealize or catastrophize in my thoughts. After an easy day if the girls are sleeping nicely I'll think a third child would be a breeze. When my dh was away for 5 days on business I thought no way could I manage another.
If a third (or fourth or fifth etc.) child would come along I'm sure I would rise to the occassion and develop resources I couldn't imagine.
I couldn't imagine how twins would be before they arrived. I kept trying to think it through and it just wouldn't work out in my mind. In reality though things are going fine.
I think I remember you have posted on this topic before. It's something that's on my mind alot too. I figure that when I'm done having babies I will know deep down inside that I'm done. Till then I guess I'm going through similar questions as you are.

 

We've talked about it, and we wouldn't mind another set of b/g twins. I've loved the experience of having these two. I would do it again. But we would also prefer to wait until they are 4 or 5 years old. But then we also have to start thinking about our ages.

Stacy

 

I think it is easier the second time around.

I have a 21 month old daughter and 7 week old twins. Everything is easier since I have done it once and know how things work. Since we have to raise the twins and an attention hungry toddler, I am more aware of their sleep routine than I was with just one. And as you all have learned with twins sometimes they have to cry until they can be helped. I didn't let my daughter cry that much since it was one-on-one.

You have to do what you have to do. People see me do things and are in shock. Yesterday we took our oldest to the zoo. And our friends came along so we had helpers. I was walking around the zoo breastfeeding Josh and pushing the stroller so my husband could interact with our daughter - you do what you gotta do.

 

sure you can!!

 

I definitely think you can handle it. I on the other hand don't want anymore. I am happy with what I have!!! I think it is all personal preference and if you want one, then have one.

 

I think you can handle ANYTHING you truly want!

We will NOT be having any more. We said we wanted two and feel very blessed to have a healthy son and daughter. My DH actually had a vasectomy on Monday. We had a little difficulty getting pregant; however, my obgyn said that I can obviously get pregnant. We wanted to make sure that didn't happen. We have thought in detail about the logistics of more children and just feel like we are thankful to have what we have.

 

I have a 3 year old and 8 week twin girls. The twins are so much easier than I remember my son being. Once you do it the second time is so easy.

 

I agree with everyone else. you are given what you can handle. Three years ago when I got married I NEVER thought in a MILLION years that I would quit my teaching job and be staying at home with three children this young. According to our plans, we are supposed to be just now having our first child. It is hard but I wouldn't trade any of them for a different life -I love taking care of them.

My husband just got back home. he was gone for 3 WEEKS for job training for his promotion. I didn't think I could handle it, but I survived.

I say -if you desire another one, then you CAN handle it. your heart is telling you you can.

 

IF we were to have anymore the twins would have to be near school age (I'm having a hard enough time handling them)...and by that time I'll be 37 and DH will be 42 (not that that is old) but I just don't know if I'll want to start over at that point!

 

Kelly,
Your girls are only 6 months old, SURE your physically and mentally exhausted!!

It will get easier! But every stage has it's challenges. You are thinking about a new baby while having 2 babies, that does sound very overwhelming. But you will NOT always feel this way. I promise!

 

Have to agree with some of the others...the second round with baby/babies is SOOO much easier. You don't worry about things a first time mother does...babies can cry until you have time to pick them up, you know schedules are a good thing with sleep etc...
With my first I let him go to sleep when he was ready, picked him up at the first whimper...pampered him etc....with the twins I know that they won't die if they cry for 5 minutes while im finishing up the dishes, I don't stare at them all night making sure they are still breathing and i know to stay on schedule or the whole day willb be screwed up!

You deal with what you have to...and don't really think about it because well...none of the kids will leave you alone to forget about it

 

I thought the same exact thing as you. But as you can see we decided to have another one. We wanted to wait until they were atleast 3 before we had anymore (also because I wasn't sure if I could handle another one (or two since mine were faternal) but as they get older things did get easier especially when they started to sleep through the night. Things are still hard at times but I thinks it's a lot easier with them being older. And like others have said having a 3rd baby will be easier since you have already gone through it before.

 

As it has been said before - it is easier the second time! I am so much more relaxed with the twins than with my first! And if you were to have a singleton after twins I think you would be amazed how "easy" it can be. I have a 3 year old and 4 month old boy/girl twins. My 3 year old is an awesome big sister and loves to help with the babies. We have said we are done as planned to only have 2 so with 3 we are done. Plus I am almost 41 and DH is 43. BUT there are days when I think I would like to have 1 more ...

Mary
Lindsey 2-18-04
Grant & Kelsey 9-18-06

 

Thanks everyone! I'm having the baby itch again this morning! LOL My DH doesn't really want another one but he could be persuaded either way. He's so laid back. I was having the itch when they were 4 months old, then a few weeks ago I said, "That's it, we are done"...and now I'm having the itch again! I even think of names in my head!!! We had to have some fertility assistance to have the twins....shots and IUI...and we both do not want to go through that again. I just know if we start trying and it doesn't happen, I will want to do the fertility route again and I really do not want another set of twins! Decisions, decisions, right?? Oh, the other thing is DH turned 42 today and I am 34 (35 end of August). So, we are getting up there in age so if we were to have another, it should be pretty soon!! I must admit I don't like the newborn stage but I know I will love every stage down the road!!

 

Some days I could have a house full and other days, I dont want anymore. It depends on what day you ask me lol! I wouldnt want twins again, but one baby would be a piece of cake! I would like to have another baby when the twins are around 3 or 4...Twins run in my family so we are set to have twins again....

 

I feel the same way, I really want another baby but I'm so afraid that I can't handle it. I started talking lastnight about having another baby and Joe was half asleep, so I'm sure he doesn't even know what I was talking about.

 

I think it is what you make of it. If you freak out, then you won't do well. If you go into having another child with confidence, then it will be great! I want to have more as soon as possible. Plus, I have an 11 year old girl, 12 year old girl, 15 year old son, 16 year old step daughter, and a 23 year old step son. I LOVE IT!!!! It is SOOOOO Great!!!!! I love taking the twins out...love the chaos!!!

 

quote:
I must admit I don't like the newborn stage but I know I will love every stage down the road!!

I hear that! It was great to do it once (for me) but I'm too old!

Isn't it a little too late to worry about this? Did I miss something else? I thought you ARE expecting?

 

You know what, give it some time. They're only 6 mo. Seriously, the first year is very hard. You never know what the future holds and there's no use worrying about it so much. Yes, I have 3 and there are days when I don't feel like I can handle it all and my first is a singleton. Relax and enjoy them and think about it later if you don't feel like you can do it now.

 

You definitely can handle it! Esp. one, singleton's are a piece of cake! Just be real careful with your fertility treatments next time (I should know I did them too!), and I think you will really like having a singleton Kelly. Its really nice to have one baby to bond with.