Anyone experience the loss of their parents?

Hi there,
I was just wondering if anyone here has lost one or both of their parents. My father passed away when I was 22 (he was 54) and then my mother passed away right before my boys turned 2 (she had just turned 62). Their 5th birthday is coming up and I just feel so sad. I was so close to my mom after the boys were born and she made every event special even though our family was so small. Now, I just feel numb a lot of the time. I get really sad when the boys' school has things such as grandparents tea or grandparents night. I feel so bad for the boys because they really do not have any notion of what a grandparent is and I have such fond memories of my grandparents when I was little. I just miss my mother terribly right now and I just feel like I am stumbling through this whole parenting thing alone. It is just not the same without my mom around-even though it has been 3 years it just seems like yesterday. I know this is going to sound horrible, but sometimes I just get so mad when I see couples in their 80's walking around perfectly healthy and my parents both died so young.

On the other hand, I know there are many people out there that may have lost a parent when they were a child-I was blessed to have a great childhood with both parents around. Some kids are not that lucky.

Most of my friends have not lost their parents-much less both of them. I do see a counselor which helps to some extent but at certain events like birthdays and holidays I really wish they were around to see all the neat things my boys are doing.

Thanks for reading this.

 

Yes, my dad passed away when I was 24 and my brother was 19. My dad was 60 and my mom was 51 when she was widowed. My first dd was 11 months old at the time. There are times I feel badly that my girls didn't get to know him and my mom has never remarried so she's been alone a long time now (19 years). However, we all focus on the present and I'm happy to share with my girls pictures and memories of special times I had with my dad. I'm thankful my mom is still with me and I know when she passes on it will more difficult than the loss of my dad was. Not only will I be grieving for her, but so will my 4 girls as my mom lives around the corner and is a big part of our lives. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it....

 

What about an adoptive grandparent. I don't remember what the program is called, but I know that in some areas, they have grandparents what can be "adopted"

 

hi!

i saw your post and wanted to respond. my mom died when i was 13 (she was 53) and my dad died when i was 22 (he was 68). i feel very much the same way as you do....though i never knew my grandparents. they had all died before i was even born..my mom had me when she was 40...i'm now 39. my dh's parents are alive, they are 60, 61, but his dad is very sick now w/ pancreatic cancer...they predict he may be gone w/in two months so, my little ones (turn one next week) will only have a grandmother. i do think of all the things my parents have missed w/ my life and now my little ones lives. i sometimes even feel jealous that my parents got to see my brothers kids and not mine (my brothers are 12 and 17 years older than me).

you are not alone feeling the way you do.

:hug99:

Lois

 

Thank you so much for your posts-

Lois your post really made me feel like I am not alone. I always thought that I had bad luck with losing my dad at a relatively early age but for some reason I felt like my mom would be immune to this and she would be around for much longer. I am 39 as well. I am so sorry that you lost your mother at such an early age-like I said in my post I am lucky that I had my parents around for my entire childhood and through college so I do not want to sound ungrateful or whiny-but I do just miss them terrribly.

The other suggestion about adoptive grandparents is a good idea (our neighbors are kind of like that-my boys just love the dad) but it is just not the same. I feel like I have lost all history. Someone asked me when I lost my first tooth and I have no clue-it is these little things that really get to me.

Anyway, thanks for caring. It sometimes just helps me to be able to know I am not alone in this.
Theresa