Anyone ever reunited their twins for bedtime/naps after being in seperate bedrooms since 6 mos old?

CAN IT BE DONE?????????

We are having ISSUES w/ Nicolas needing his Dad to sleep with him and it is FREAKING me out. I feel like it's going to destroy him for life. Is it?? Why do I feel like it's going to ruin him? I've had that DRILLED into my head repeatedly since before I got pregnant and am soo scared.

Has anyone ever successfully reunited their twins? At what age? What was it like?

I tried to do it for naps about a month ago and they BOTH screamed bloody murder like someone was trying to kill them!! It was awful and I am PETRIFIED to try again cuz I DO have ONE good sleeper right now and I'm soooooo scared to ruin THAT!!! I mean, I do not want TWO horrid sleepers!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP ME!

And FWIW- they STTN at 14 weeks 12 plus hrs per nite, perfect. at 26 months- he just went bonkers! Daddy went down there ONCE and slept in the twin bed by his bed and the rest is HISTORY! * I guess THAT is the part I was supposed to DRILL into HIS head! UGH.

Thanks in advance!

 

We had sick kiddos around that age and I slept on the floor a few nights (they were vomitting) to make sure they were ok. Needless to say-- after that one DD was adamant that we continue to sleep at her bedside.

Family beds are common and if you dont mind, great. But that is not what we do so I was not about to start one at 2 1/2.

No matter how much she wanted it, not happening--- yes she cried and moaned a few nights (screamed at us....coooommmeee back mommmmyyyy) and it broke my heart. But it had to be done. The first night was bad, the second night less so. and then it got better. She is my fussier sleeper to begin with (always). Now and then she asks me to sleep in her room, but I tell her unless she is really sick. No. Usually she is ok, but sometimes she moans about it. We just had to do it and let her fuss over it.

The girls share a room at bedtime, but not for naps (I have one napper and one non-napper).

From age 2 to about 2 1/2 we put them to bed at night in seperate rooms and then moved one sleeper back to her bed (she went to sleep alone in guest bed). We split them because they were crazy for a while and just wound each other up for awhile. Then it got better and I put them back together at night- we had a few rough nights, but since they had been together before it was fairly smooth overall. So they shared a room from birth to 2 and then again from age 2.5 to present (4.5)

Good Luck, I hope it gets better soon.

 

Thank you!! From the lack of more responses... I'd say it is not a very common occurrence!! YIKES!!! Your reply DOES make me feel better tho. THANKS!

 

We went through this at 23 months. They both got sick with bad colds, high fevers, nasty coughs, etc. and were waking a lot at night from the coughs and fevers, so I started sleeping in there. Well, 7 days later, they were better but still waking at night and expecting me to come sleep in there! They would yell, "Mama, lay down!!". :laughing: I did for a few more weeks - my DH even vrought up the air mattress for me b/c my back was starting to kill me! Then it just downward spiraled to the point where they didn't want to even go to sleep without me on that darn mattress - so I knew it was time to CIO. It was not pleasant, but it only lasted 1 night.

I admit that I have left the air mattress in their room though b/c I have found that on the weekends if they wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 and I drag my pillow in and lay down on the air mattress, they'll sleep for another 1-2 hours! So, it might be a loooong time until I get rid of the air mattress!

Good luck!


And, FWIW, my twins (25 months) still nap in separate rooms. They scream horribly when I put them in the same room and I just don't have it in me to cause napping issues when there aren't any, as long as they sleep separately.

 

I guess I'm not understanding your fear. How are you going to ruin him?

Instead of moving Nicholas in the same room, could you just let him CIO in his own room and not have you DH go in there?

Once I put mine to bed I do not go in there even if they are crying. The only time is if they were to wake in the middle of the night which rarely happens. My one son always sttn so when he woke last week I knew something was wrong.

 

Worried that he will need a parent to sleep with him for life???

 

I remember being warned about not sleeping with them, or you would be stuck doing it forever. i was so careful, no lets say PARANOID about this happening, that I think i went a little too far the other day. I generally kiss them goodnight and dont see them again until the morning, but along with sickness comes a different set of rules, and that usually throws our wonderful "system" out the window. When we have sickness going on we do go and check on them when they cry, and that usually results in a habit forming (that for us, needs to be broken), so it usually takes a few nights to get them back in the habit of sleeping on their own again. What I have done this last time was talk to them during the day about going to sleep like "big Kids" and that mommy and daddy give "one hug and one kiss at bedtime and then we dont come back until moring time", we also talked about "if you wake up at night, then you cuddle your blankie and go back to sleep", and I also say "mommy and daddy are sleeping at night so everyone stays in their beds". And this actually helped quite a lot. And I reminded them of this before I went to bed, and usually there is a bit of protest crying, but it usually doesn't last too long (as long as we dont go back in the room).

My suggestion would be to do CIO for naptime (if this is what you want to do) but put them in seperate rooms if possible, and then once they are going to bed with relatively little fuss then I would consider putting them together. Does your "bad" sleeper not sleep at all? does he cry for a long time when in his own room?

Good luck!

 

Good news, Daddy is in his own bed and Nic is in his own bed so we are on day ONE of success. Nicolas did come up in the living room at 1 am and wander around looking for Daddy but Daddy did good and put him downstairs and came back up!!!!!!!! YAY DADDY!!!

It's really not about Nicolas, as we all know by n ow. It's about the parent. And DH admitted that last nite. He said, "It's not Nic's problem, or your problem.. it's MINE." He owned it.

We have REALLY been fighting a lot over this.

It's been hard on everyone.

He just HATES to see him cry and cannot for the life of him see the forest thru the trees like I can. He just can't but I think he finally sees how seriously it is affecting ME.

Anyway, I like to keep you updated.

Thanks guys.

One step forward.

 

Good news! Glad things worked out in the end and that DH fessed up. Sounds like DH is a pretty sensitive guy!

 

Nite 2.

He came up ONCE.

We ended up taking the gate down. Door open. Lights on.

When he came up. I walked him down and told him if he came up again the door would be shut.

He slept til 6:30 am today. We have a goodnite lite so he waited for the sun to come on and called me to come and get him! YAY!

And points to the bed where his daddy used to sleep and said sooooo happily/proudly "Look! No daddy!" LOL.

 

Great news, Meredith! Progress!

 

Thanks soo much Beth! I appreciate your support!! Yay! I guess he just needed my trust! Your girls have gotten even cuter!