Anyone else with toddlers looking forward to having another...

My DH was elated to find out that, although I was late with AF, the p. test came out negative. I really do want to have another sometime, not necessarily now, but DH is totally against it. All he says is that it was so hard and he is not willing to go through that again. I try to explain that it will be completely different but then he points out that we already have two and that will make the next one so much more difficult - I do not agree at all!

Jack and Lily are our IVF miracles (I lost AF for years due to overexercising ) and I do not even know if I could get pregnant again anyway, but I would sure like to try. I would not do IVF again but if it was meant to be I would love to have another.

Anyway, I just wish he was not so against it. Anyone else in the same boat?

 

i did IVF for my 2 and yes i would love to do it again for 1 more. i would even go through IVF again but am afraid of having more then 1 or 2 the next round. i don't think i could handle twins or triplets after twins already :umm: these 2 already have me exhausted :laughing: DH does not want any more kids. i cannot get pregnant by myself due to the fact to have these kids i needed surgeries and also to be able to keep it i had to have my tubes removed. so IVF is the only way i can go. i would love to have 1 more baby

 

Kind of in the same boat!

I *think* I'd like another child (I was positive, and now I'm not 100% sure...) but I've always wanted to wait until the girls were at least 3 or 4 (possibly even 5!). DH feels like thats too spread out and he'll be to old (and I'll never get back to working ). Plus he's worried that we'd be able to work it financially, etc, etc, etc.

So he hasn't flat out said no, and I don't know if I'm not sure because he's not and I don't want to get set in my mind one thing and then have that hope dashed or if I'm really not sure Plus I had some complications this past pregnancy that would entail me going on blood thinners for any subsequent pregnancies and that kind weirds me out....

:hug99:

 

Yep! I am 100% sure I want another and think now is the time to get pregnant. They just turned two and would be 3 when the new baby was born. But DH is just not ready. His reasons are all financial. If we didn't have concerns about how to pay for daycare etc he would be there with me. I think that its very doable we just have to think a little differently about the finances. So.... we'll see.

 

Yes. He was fine with just the twins (spont. conceived), but I wanted more. We had Rebecca, and I still want the 4th that we had
"agreed" on before we married. The twins are pretty difficult and kind of effected how he looks at fatherhood. He loves them to pieces and is great with them but they are A LOT of work. Rebecca is pretty much on auto pilot. I'm not planning on TTC for at least another year if not longer. I'm hoping the boys are more easily to manage at that time that he's more open to it.

 

I would love another one and mine are 8.5 months. I dont' know if I can do it naturally but I'd like to do IVF to have them while I'm young enough to reduce developemental risks. I have two girls and I think I'd like a boy to have that dimension. I wouldn't say dh is against it, he just wants to do "natural" to see if it would work. I'd like to do IVF. Since he hadn't needed to have kids and I wanted kids I feel he caved into my needs to have kids. He is so happy now to have our family, but I feel like it is his decision if we have more. I'd just like to see them close in age and playing with similar toys or similar activities. I just have sooooo much clothes and equipment I'd like to get rid of if we aren't going to use it. I worry about a bigger car to fit 3 car seats -- might mean buying a bigger car for us. I think of cost of a different stroller too. I'm not sure if I can fly home (Canada) with three and two adults.

Heather

 

QUOTE(MusicalAli @ Aug 1 2008, 01:41 AM) [snapback]907452[/snapback]
Yes. He was fine with just the twins (spont. conceived), but I wanted more. We had Rebecca, and I still want the 4th that we had
"agreed" on before we married. The twins are pretty difficult and kind of effected how he looks at fatherhood. He loves them to pieces and is great with them but they are A LOT of work. Rebecca is pretty much on auto pilot. I'm not planning on TTC for at least another year if not longer. I'm hoping the boys are more easily to manage at that time that he's more open to it.


We were/are kind of in the same boat (although we aren't planning any more children). DH had always said he wanted 2 children. Well, we didn't "plan" on getting sontaneous twins conceived the first month we tried. DH was FINE with the twins and that was it. After much soul searching, convincing and crunching numbers (DH was always looking at the financials with being an accountant), we decided to have one more. I was ELATED!!!! I got pregnant with Olivia when the twins were 2. For us, it was perfect with her arriving a few months before their 3rd birthday. We are both SOOOO glad we decided on one more baby. The twins (at least for us) were relatively easy babies and Olivia just does her own thing...she's a piece of cake!

 

I obsess about this decision all the time. When the girls were about 6 months old they finally started to get manageable ... they were the world's HARDEST babies ... Even my Ped was like ... they are "just very difficult temperament infants" ... they were pretty easy from 6-8 months old and I thought ... I could do this again ... then ... now they have gotten hard again. They are very sensitive and went through some pretty bad stranger anxiety. I have one now with Separation Anxiety really bad ... I can't even go to the bathroom without her SOBBING outside the door and it takes me 15 minutes to calm her down when I am out ... but the other is my "easy" baby now. She is pretty chill ... Hannah though ... I don't know what I would do with 2 Hannahs ... that is my fear, that I would have another baby like her ... I love her with all my heart and soul but she is a HARD baby! My husband is like NO WAY! And I sometimes think I am done, too ... but I do think I will regret it when they are all in school and life gets "easier" if we don't have a 3rd. I grapple with whether or not we should try soon and just suck it up and hunker down for a few really tough years (the girls just turned one) ... then when the girls are ... say, 5 ... then our other child would be 2.5 to 3 ... and it would be fun to do things like take them to Disney ... etc ... but if we wait and have another baby when the twins are easier or in school ... then when they are 5 or 6 we would have a 1 year old and STILL couldn't enjoy a family vacation ... can you tell I have thought a lot about this! Also, I already feel like there is not enough of me to go around ... I can't imagine being able to handle the stress of another child! Anyway, I am no help ... and really just babbaling ... but just wanted to say I know how you feel! I like to think that we will have another and sometimes I doubt my husband even wanted these two! That sounds harsh but he has said over and over that he didn't think he was really ready to have kids ... he just doesn't seem to understand that there is no way you can be really "ready" to have twins!

 

I wonder too about what it would be like for them to have a bigger family of three where there is more support for each other and hopefully they would be there for each other years down the road. I'm from a family of 4 and dh from a family of 3 and it just seems to work. Then I think how everything seems to be for a "family of 4" the world seems to be made easier for that number. I'm sure nobody ever regrets having that baby since they grow to love them, but I still wonder what would be best for our family.

 

I would LOVE to get pregnant 1 last time too. Unfortunately, I am getting older (going on 42) and the risk will greater for me. We did IVF with the twins when I was just 40 yrs old. It took us 4-1/2 years to get pregnant. The DR says I can't never get pregnant but we were test for preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) with our 1st IVF (naturally) turn out that I had 50/50 abnormal chromosomes or abnormal embryos . So this is the reason why I kept getting miscarried. I do have very few healthy embryos but my darling husband kept hitting the wrong one! If you know what I mean?! It is a wishful thinking but we do have 1 of each (girl/boy). My DH is willing to give me one more but I am okay with not having anymore children.

D, w/Rianna and Justin (22 mos)

 

QUOTE
Yep! I am 100% sure I want another and think now is the time to get pregnant. They just turned two and would be 3 when the new baby was born.


Me too. I am desperate to have another child but DH doesn't want any more. Asides from the whole hassle factor - the children push his buttons big time sometimes - mainly because with his love he feels a great sense of responsibility and worry and he feels he just doesn't want to love anyone else ever (whilst I sympathise, I also pointed out that one day there'll be grandchildren etc).

I am one of 3 (and he's one of 2), so for me a family just has more children about - I'd have four if I could - and, in future they can be there for one another when we're old and decrepid. Also I think 3 would dilute the twin thing and help M and T just be two sisters. Also it would stop T always being the little cute one that everyone gravitates towards and help bring out Maia's gentle caring side .... I could go on!

I've just turned 39 and although we succeeded on our first IUI, I wonder if it'll be harder this time. And meanwhile I just can't persuade DH to change his mind. I try not to ruin every day with the discussion, but it does come up several times a week. I just can't afford to wait.

Good luck!
lisa

 

Ideally, yes I'd love to have more and DH is a lot more concerned with money. He is soooo worried about the economy, etc. We want to be able to provide yes...but he likes to SPOIL...I tell him there's a definite difference. If we weren't so busy spoiling, we could afford 3 more! LOL...Anyway, you're not alone, I think it's ironic that we women who've endured the pregnancy/labor/home all day with the kids, are the ones wanting more! All I ask is that he go to work and come home ready to have fun with us! Geez....we're the ones getting beat up all day long! :fool: