Anyone else have people think they know?

I've had quite a few people lately say to me they know what it's like having twins b/c they have 2 kids!! R U Kidding me? Big difference!! I also have had many people say Oh I've always wanted twins. You really start to hear the same comments over and over don't you? Or is it just me? Just curious if ya'll get these questions too and how do you respond? I know my mouth just drops when people say these things!

 

QUOTE(debfitz @ Sep 19 2008, 01:44 PM) [snapback]987926[/snapback]
I've had quite a few people lately say to me they know what it's like having twins b/c they have 2 kids!! R U Kidding me? Big difference!! I also have had many people say Oh I've always wanted twins. You really start to hear the same comments over and over don't you? Or is it just me? Just curious if ya'll get these questions too and how do you respond? I know my mouth just drops when people say these things!


Today I will post my favorite comments people make since having twins. I have two stepchildren (who are still MY babies) children Alex (9) and Sara (5)

1. "Wow Twins??" Nope, just happened to pop out two kids at once. Who knew?

2. "They look nothing alike. Are they identical?" Yes, often things that look nothing alike are in fact the same

3. "Oh, how cute, a boy and a girl" Thanks. I always dress my little girl in blue onsies that say "G" is for Good Boy

4. "Are you having any more kids or is this it?" Well, we were thinking of having less sex - but decided against it. Thanks for asking.

5. "Was it a surprise?" Nope, I fully expected labor and two babies at the end of pregnancy.

6. "Does twins run in your family?" Nope, we just always had sex twice back-to-back hoping it would make two babies at once.

7. " You must be busy. " Nope, with four kids I have ALL KINDS of free time. We drug them daily.

8. "Is it hard?" No, they came with these nifty instruction manuals that tell you everything you need to know.

9. "I have kids that are two years apart, so it's like having Twins" No, actually it's not. Nothing is "like" having two kids exactly the same age.

10. "Wow four kids you must be exhausted" Yes, thanks for pointing that out. I had no idea that is what has been wrong with me.

11. "You poor thing" Yes, these babies are just a hassle. I always like to think of children as a negative thing. It helps their self esteem.

12. "Are they all yours?" No, today I've rented other kids. I didn't have enough to do.

13. "Is your husband good at helping?" No, he left me for a woman with fewer kids

Hope this gave you some laughs!! :rotflmbo:

 

LOL!!!! :rotflmbo: That's GREAT!!! I'm gonna have to use some of those remarks! I love it!

 

QUOTE(two4one2008 @ Sep 19 2008, 01:54 PM) [snapback]987949[/snapback]
6. "Does twins run in your family?" Nope, we just always had sex twice back-to-back hoping it would make two babies at once.


I have said... no my guys are identical... just a result of going jogging after sex.... and people think i am totally serious....

 

I got a good one. Recently I had the baby back in the hospital when she was 2 weeks old for a breast cyst. Anyway we had to stay overnight and a nurse came in and asked how we were doing. I replied "great- this baby is so good I don't know how to act" She said to me-"Well I have 2 that are 15 months apart and when they are that close it is just like having twins and you have no idea how hard that is." (I swear she said that) So I said to her "well I have twins that just turned a year three days after this one was born so I think I have an idea" She looked at me like she was waiting for me to say april fool or something. When she realized I wasn't kidding all she could say was "yeah I guess then this one is pretty easy"

 

There are two people I am close with. Whenever I start to talk about the challenges of raising twins, I always get the "mine are 17 months apart, I know exactly what you are going through". Um, nope, not really.

 

i REALLY need a good come back for "you have your hands full!" i usually say, "and my heart full" but i need something better. anyone got anything?

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Sep 19 2008, 03:38 PM) [snapback]988041[/snapback]
i REALLY need a good come back for "you have your hands full!" i usually say, "and my heart full" but i need something better. anyone got anything?


I'd love a great comeback because I hear that every time we're out! And seriously people say it like it's the first time I've heard it!

My FIL likes to say he knows how difficult having 2 babies is because his oldest 2 are just 13 months apart and that's practically like having twins... um, no it isn't....at all....

 

Im sure every woman in the street has a comment on our kids but the two close together is so common or that they know someone with twins Im just so interested when someone tells me their cousins sister in laws son has twins I not quick enough with the comment I just smile and nod most of the time. If they say you must be busy I say I have another one at school! A twin book I read had a good comment for are those twins she said "no they are triplets I left the other one in the car". Maybe we can come up with a sign to hang on the pram 'only productive comments please'

 

I think eole just have to comment... I have gotten the comments with having 2 15 or so months apart... I usually say well I have an older child too and I can honestly say that having kids that are different ages is NOT like having twins... If you can believe it I was talking to my daughter's FORMER child care rovider who had 1 baby just before we had the twins and she called when they were about a month old... She actually said this: "My husband and I were watching TV the other night and Alan was laying on the floor (older child my daughter's age), I was holding the baby and my husband was holding the dog... I looked at him and said 'this must be what it is like to be Stephanie & Jason (My husband & I)!" Yes you read that right she comared having an older child a newborn and a DOG to having an older child & twins!!!

Actually, the one that really gets me is when we are out and I am focused on what we are doing and someone just stops & stares at us... They look at me the babies & then my daughter and then back to the babies... They usually pause a few seconds then ask "Are they twins?" I ususally just say yes, but I want to say come on, I know they don't look alike, but do they really look 9 months apart?

I also get "One boy & one girl?" even when they are both dressed the same in obvious boy clothing... I say Nope 2 boys.... Then they say "Oh, I thought it must be that this one was a girl with all the hair." My resonse "Well, they have no control over how thier hair grows!

I really don't mind most of the comments, but I do mind if I am out with all 3 kids and peole only mention the babies and not thier beautiful and smart big sister...

Last thing:
I was in the elevator leaving the pediarician's office and there was another mom with 5 kids on their with me... SHe looked at my daughter and then the babies and said, "Wow, you have your hands full!" I just looked at her and said, "You have 5 kids! I can't even imagine how busy you must be!" and she said something that really made me know she got the twin thing! "I do have 5, but they are all different ages so it is a lot easier than having 2 the same age!" Imagine, a woman with 5 kids noticing and realizing that haveing 2 kids the same age is nothing like haveing 2 close in age!

 

I don't get a whole lot of the "I know what it's like comments" (only from a mom I know who has twins that are in 6th grade, and she does know) but we do get the unreal amount of comments from strangers anytime we are out in public. Some people can be downright rude and insensitive in my opinion. We caught somebody STARRING and POINTING at us through a restaurant window once. Like we were a zoo exhibit or something.

I love the positive comments I get from people and I love to show of my babies but sometimes the repetitive comments do get old and I just want to be left alone! I guess we have to face the fact that twins draw alot of attention.

 

Today I was chatting with a nice lady who was pushing her two-year old daughter in a stroller. She paid some nice remarks about my twins. As she is walking off, she turns around and says, "Don't worry, it gets easier." My sister turns to me and says, "What the h*ll does she know she has ONE baby!"

I also feel like people think they HAVE to comment or something. The double snap 'n go draws a lot of attention..."Wow, you've got your hands full" --I don't think I can go ANYWHERE without hearing that. "Are they natural?" is the other rude comment.

 

QUOTE(two4one2008 @ Sep 19 2008, 02:54 PM) [snapback]987949[/snapback]
Today I will post my favorite comments people make since having twins. I have two stepchildren (who are still MY babies) children Alex (9) and Sara (5)

1. "Wow Twins??" Nope, just happened to pop out two kids at once. Who knew?

2. "They look nothing alike. Are they identical?" Yes, often things that look nothing alike are in fact the same

3. "Oh, how cute, a boy and a girl" Thanks. I always dress my little girl in blue onsies that say "G" is for Good Boy

4. "Are you having any more kids or is this it?" Well, we were thinking of having less sex - but decided against it. Thanks for asking.

5. "Was it a surprise?" Nope, I fully expected labor and two babies at the end of pregnancy.

6. "Does twins run in your family?" Nope, we just always had sex twice back-to-back hoping it would make two babies at once.

7. " You must be busy. " Nope, with four kids I have ALL KINDS of free time. We drug them daily.

8. "Is it hard?" No, they came with these nifty instruction manuals that tell you everything you need to know.

9. "I have kids that are two years apart, so it's like having Twins" No, actually it's not. Nothing is "like" having two kids exactly the same age.

10. "Wow four kids you must be exhausted" Yes, thanks for pointing that out. I had no idea that is what has been wrong with me.

11. "You poor thing" Yes, these babies are just a hassle. I always like to think of children as a negative thing. It helps their self esteem.

12. "Are they all yours?" No, today I've rented other kids. I didn't have enough to do.

13. "Is your husband good at helping?" No, he left me for a woman with fewer kids

Hope this gave you some laughs!! :rotflmbo:



It gave me laughs!!!! So true read my mind!

 

All the time - people always make that comment. But, I think unless you are a mom of multiples or a family member of one, you just have no idea how tough it is. My sister actually even said it to me, when I was going through months of two screaming babies and she would say - "ohhh my dea, I know exactly what it is like", that always infuriated me, because her babies were like 18mnths apart - and she had no idea what it is like. But I usually just bite my tongue in those situations. I keep thinking that when my twins are in the 1-2yr old range then things will probably be easier then when hers were around that age range!
It never really bothered me when people said "you guys have your hands full" - because it was true, we did and still do! Then I often take the opportunity to educate them as to what a typical night was like when they were newborns - sleep, what was that!?? I like to scare them a little bit, then they think that we really walk on water!

 

I had so many people say well I had a 3 mo old and got pg again and that is so much like twins. UM no its NOT. Not at all. Or people say I have had 4 kids so I can imagine what twins would be like. Um no 4 kids have nothing to do with 2 that are the same EXACT age.

 

I was SO sick of hearing 'you have your hands full' that finally I said....better full then empty!
A few weeks ago, I was out at Kohl's in the baby section and there was an older woman and I was trying to manuver the snap n go through the tight aisle and she would not move so I kind of stood there and she finally moved and looked me up and down and very rudely said...my, you are brave to leave the house. And I just smiled and said....nah, it's easy! She infuriated me though!!!

 

I was just about to say...

I always say "I rather them full than empty!"

My ex-MIL always says she knows how it is, cause my ex and his brother are 15 months apart. Um. no...not quite there lady.

 

One of my closest girl friends, who also lives next door, has kids that are 16 months apart. And she keeps saying that she knows what I'm going through and will be one of the few who understand because her babies are so close together. Is there ANYTHING I can say to shut this up? I mean, we're close, but she ALWAYS seems to think she knows best... and I don't want to ruin the friendship, but she's got NO clue what it is like. Even a twin pregnancy is nothing like a single one and yet I cannot get her to understand that!

With all these pregnancy hormones, maybe I'm getting a little short tempered, but these statements about "wow... you guys are in for it!" or "I hope your husband plans on helping out", or even "wow... and you did that to yourself" (like I PLANNED on having twins) are really getting on my nerves.

Thanks for the support,
Dominique

 

I get a lot of people who ask "do twins run in your family?" I'll say no, they prefer jogging.

 

Can I just comment on the having two-close-in-age-is-the-same-as-having-twins idea? You gals are right; it is very different to have kids the same age than to have two close together. However, it is not necessarily harder to have twins. Trust me, I've done both and at some stages, my kids close in age were harder and at some stages having twins is harder.

Honestly, I think people are just trying to connect with you; they may not know what having twins is like, but you also don't know what having kids 17 months apart is like. Both situations are challenging and difficult and rewarding and wonderful and so therefore, you DO have a lot in common.

OK, I'll get down off my soapbox now. It can get tiring hearing the same comments over and over, but usually people are trying to be friendly and helpful.

 

QUOTE(ChristinaB @ Sep 21 2008, 01:01 AM) [snapback]989752[/snapback]
Honestly, I think people are just trying to connect with you; they may not know what having twins is like, but you also don't know what having kids 17 months apart is like. Both situations are challenging and difficult and rewarding and wonderful and so therefore, you DO have a lot in common.


Thank you for pointing this out. I had forgotten that people might be trying to be friendly, honestly. It's just so much easier to assume that they are poopooing your experience. Thank you for putting it back into perspective for this hormonal pregnant gal!

Dominique

 

I'm sure having two 16 months apart is a challenge too. I just don't understand when they try to compare because it's just so different. I mean, we wouldn't tell them 'oh, you have two 16 months apart, I know the feeling, I have twins'.

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Sep 19 2008, 02:38 PM) [snapback]988041[/snapback]
i REALLY need a good come back for "you have your hands full!" i usually say, "and my heart full" but i need something better. anyone got anything?



Better full than empty

 

This is a reply from a twin mommy friend of mine. She has fraternal twin boys. One of which has always been at least 4 pounds heavier than his younger brother...
"Oh, how cute! Are they twins? This one looks so much bigger.""
"No. We had triplets, but he ate the other one."

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Sep 19 2008, 03:38 PM) [snapback]988041[/snapback]
i REALLY need a good come back for "you have your hands full!" i usually say, "and my heart full" but i need something better. anyone got anything?



I usually hold them up and say "really? But I'm not holding anything" or I once said "yeah, are you offering to help"?