Anyone else feeling gutted by c-section news?

Hi all,
Just had an appointment yesterday and discovered that our baby A is still breech and that baby B is 200 grams smaller than baby A. This has upset docs which seems a bit up tight as I thought this sort of difference was fairly normal. They are scheduling a c-section in a fortnight, which made me want to cry the entire three hour drive home and most of today. It is so very silly to care; I know my objective should be for nothing more than healthy babies, but an early c section after lying flat for so many months and so many other complications just feels wrong. I want to feed my babies and hold them and take care of them and take them home. I know this is greedy and it can be rightly argued that every birth is sacred, that eventually all theses things will come to pass, but as I will not be there to see my babies born, I am in remission from Hopkins and can't have the epidural, I feel cheated out of my babies birth. Does anyone else feel gutted at the prospect of a C-section? My apologies for my tantrum, I feel like a complete gimboyd as I know I am being silly, I just feel so very sad about the birth which I know should be something to be excited about.

 

I had an emergency c-section at 32 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. However, I would have had one had we gone all the way as well. I am a sorry that you are feeling cheated and I am sure those feelings are normal. You have done an exceptional job keeping those babies in and now it seems like they will do better out than in. Try and relish in the fact that you are doing what is best for your babies. I know it's hard, but try and stay positive. You will be able to pump and feed them, put them to the breast, and do some kangaroo care as well. You and they will definitely get all of the closeness you want, but maybe not right away. :hug:

 

Oh Momma, :hug: :hug: It's okay to feel this way and you shouldn't apologize. We all want what you want, and this all took you by surprise. :hug: :hug: Like Rachel said, try and think of what a great job you've done and what a great job you will do with them afterwards... no matter how they get here. :grouphug:

:youcandoit: We'll all be thinking of you!!

 

:hug: I think what you are feeling is normal. I had a scheduled c-section (my baby A was breech too) and I did feel kind of cheated not being able to have a vaginal birth. I just kept telling myself that this is what needs to be done so the babies and I can be healthy. I am sorry that you've had a lot of complications and feel disappointed by this news after coming so far. You've done a great job, Momma and like Rachel said, you might not get the closeness you want right way but you will get it :hug:

 

:hug: I know that is not what you want. I felt the same way about my c-section. I did not have one scheduled but the babies were transverse most of the pregnancy so I knew it was a possibility. When I went to the hospital and the nurse checked me, she said she thought she felt hair. I was so excited that I would not need a c-section. When the doctor came in, she did a quick scan to see the babies positions. The were still both transverse. I cried when she told me that. Everything did work out though and it will for you too. :hug:

Good luck.

 

Oh momma, I can totally understand. I got panicked at the thought of a c/s too. I think what would have brought me peace would be knowing that it was what my babies need. Now, please forgive me for sticking my ignorant nose where it doesn't belong, but a c/s because your twins are breech this early is not in itself a good enough reason. The difference in weight COULD be something to worry about, but it isn't necessarily and u/s weights are notoriously inaccurate.

Do some reading and consider getting a second opinion in the next few weeks. If you come to the conclusion that your Dr's suggestion is the best for your babes, the method of delivery won't be such a loss.

But if you can keep your twins in a little longer, it'll be better for everyone. Don't agree to an early surgery without being sure it's what you and your twins need.

Congrats on getting this far, as the PP's said, you're doing a fantastic job!

 

I think what you are feeling is completely normal! :hug:

I had a vaginal with my oldest DS and then a c-section with my twins and I had really hoped for a vaginal birth with my second pregnancy - but when we found out that they were mono-di and Baby A was smaller than Baby B, we decided to go for the c-section. I will tell you that the c-section had its own way of being "magical" - much different than a vaginal birth, but special in its own way! Don't be so hard on yourself, you are allowed to be upset over a c-section! :hug: You'll be okay, though! :hug:

 

I felt the same as you - and I TOTALLY understand how you feel about not having the epidural - I started out with an epi but after the 1st cut they believed me that I felt everything and got knocked out pretty quick. Neither myself nor my husband got to hear our babes first cries - and to this day I get pretty teary eyed over that and bit angry BUT! I remind myself that they arrived HEALTHY and I was able to breastfeed (almost 4mths and they've only had 2oz formula one day that I went out) I have been able to keep them happy and healthy and the section didn't interfere with any of that.

I do agree with Gena22 that an early section is not necessarily the best tho - my A was breech the whole pregnancy and then B flipped breech in the last 2wks (hence the reason for our section) but my doc, husband and I agreed to 38w2d and would have gone longer but A was footling and we live 50min from nearest hospital. We felt the section at 38w was safer than a footling in an ambulance enroute. This followed my first three births all being midwife attended and my 2nd and 3rd being home births. A VERY big change to the Duo's arrival!

ANyway - just wanted to say I totally understand your upset - I was, and would be and still think back and get upset - but I have to keep reminding myself that the whole goal of labor/delivery is to have a healthy babe - or two in our case! HUGS HUGS HUGS

 

:hug: It is hard when we find out the birth can't happen the way we would like it. Trust me my twin birth was not how I expected it would be, but in the end the most important thing is doing what is best for the babies. It is okay to feel sad about it. :hug: You have done a great job.

 

I understand completely. I sobbed for the entire day before I had my first c-section. With my second daughter, I tried everything humanly possible to VBAC, but it wasn't meant to be. I really mourned the fact that I never got to have the natural unmedicated birth I wanted. I knew the twins had to be a c-section and it still killed me to make the appointment to schedule their delivery. Ironically, I actually went into labor with my boys. Hugs. After the babies arrive you won't care so much and if you decide to have more children you can always try to VBAC.

 

Awww... your post made me want to cry! I'm so sorry for your disappointment. I had a horrible delivery experience with my first (ironically the c-section was the best part of it) and also felt cheated. It took me getting pregnant again four years later to get over it emotionally. I don't mean that I was walking around feeling bitter all the time, but whenever I heard about someone's great experience, I would feel cheated all over again. I am doing a planned c-section this time, and am hoping for a much better experience. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I completely understand your feeling upset after all you have been through. Good luck! Hugs.

 

Thank you so much for your love and support. I felt so alone but knew I wasn't, thank you thank you thank you all. The babies are of the upmost importance, so I will be most grateful for all the assistance the docs provide and like all of you, love and appreciate my babies however they arrive. I want to wish you all an amazing holiday period, regardless of your belifes, know that you are all gorgeous women who provide support that women can only find within other women. I am so grateful to have found this site and only wish I was closer to you all so that perhaps one day we could have a huge get together.
I would be lying if I were to say that I was resolved and no longer sad, but I can honestly say that I no longer feel alone.

Thank you form the bottom of my heart

xoxox

 

I'm with you on feeling bad about a c-sec. Both babies were breech until 33 weeks when somehow they both managed to turn vertex. I was afraid to get excited though everyone swore they couldn't possibly turn again. Lo and behold at my 36th week appointment baby B is back to being breech oblique (the little stinker!). My ob is willing to do a vaginal as long as baby A is vertex but she had to discuss everything that might go wrong with me "just in case". I chose not to schedule a planned c-sec or an induction at this time. I get weekly nst's and I'm paying super close attention to their movements. If I'm really lucky, little bits will co-operate and turn vertex just in time. If I'm not so lucky I'll end up with both deliveries which will be a pain as I won't have anyone to help out when we get home. Either way, happy healthy babies is the main goal. Don't feel bad about feeling bad sister, you'll be okay :hug:

 

I like to say that Sebastian signed me up for surgery, LOL. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way... it sucks so much to have to have surgery due to something largely out of your control. My S was breech from the word go. I didn't even take childbirth classes- just a hospital tour so I knew what the OR looked like.

It's so hard with the C-Section. I really believe that the docs/nurses treat you like a lampshade they're working on, not like this is one of the most important days of your life. I felt that there wasn't a lot of human dignity or respect for the fact that this was the first time these people were going to be seen in the world. It was like a baby assembly line.

Mine was scheduled for 38 weeks due to breech/transverse, but my water broke 2 days before so they were born on Labor Day.

Oh, & I did breastfeed in the recovery room. They've never had a drop of formula- it's very possible. I do wonder though at the urgency of your situation. Like a couple of pps, I'd want a 2nd opinion...

The sadness has passed, largely, for me, but I know now I'm not done having kids.

Good luck & I wish you very healthy babies.