Anyone else feel this way?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Debbie F, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. Debbie F

    Debbie F Well-Known Member

    My babies will be 2 in May and my oldest is 4. We had a very hard twin pregnancy - they were monoamniotic and I spent 6 weeks in the hospital and the girls were born at 32 weeks. It was stressful and I didn't get to enjoy any of it. I didn't find out I was pregnant with twins till my 21 week u/s. Anyway, my husband got snipped and we just found out yesterday it was successful so no more babies for us.

    This was a joint decision - 3 kids is alot but I am still alittle sad to know that I will never be pregnant again and never go through that wonderful experience - I loved being pregnant!!

    Anyone else feel sad when the confirmation came in that you won't have any more babies? This was the right choice for our family but knowing it is final is hard to deal with.
     
  2. Cindy123

    Cindy123 Well-Known Member

    It does make me sad even though I am perfectly happy with just the girls, I loved being pregnant and holding those tiny newborns. Each stage with them has been so wonderful that I hate it that I will never have those experiences again. I would have more in a minute, but DH has put his foot down, so no more for us.
     
  3. Dani J.

    Dani J. Well-Known Member

    We haven't had the final decision done. I tried to get my tubes tied when i had them, but my ob refused b/c I was only 27. We only ever wanted 2 children, we got them at the same time ;) I didn't find out until a u/s @ 20 wks. Twins run WAY too much in my family and we don't want another set. I really want dh to have the big V. I'm sure I'll be a little sad...but definitely relieved to.

    Enjoy your 3 beautiful babies!
     
  4. nanhancan

    nanhancan Well-Known Member

    WOW-we are so similar! My oldest will be 4 next week & my twins will be 2 in 4 weeks. We haven't done anything permanent, but sometimes I wish we had. That way a decision would have been made! I too had a difficult twin pregnancy & am scared that if we got pregnant again it would be #4 & #5. Also, as the girls grow, I'm getting excited about them being independent & doing "big girl" things with them. We'll see. I'll be 33 in March & don't want to be pregnant at 35 (I think I would be in the high risk of the high risk!).
    You have so much to look forward to! Enjoy them getting big & focusing all your attention on them.
     
  5. jfelix

    jfelix Well-Known Member

    I also had a monoamniotic twin pregnancy. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital and the girls were born at 31 weeks. We decided right away for my husband to have a vasectomy. It makes me very sad. My girls are now 3, and my son is 6. Both pregnancies were hard....I hemorraghed and almost died when my son was born. My husband didn't want to risk anything with another pregnancy. I know how lucky and blessed I am to have 3 healthy children, but I still wish I could have just one more.
     
  6. Tracy O

    Tracy O Well-Known Member

    Oh yes! Cried myself to sleep the other night because some one had posted about having an IUD and surprise she's pg.

    I got pg at 35 with the girls and delivered at 36 with IVF. My insurance was great about paying for it. But now I am a SAHM and my husbands insurance pays 50% of IVF, so with the decrease in income and the increase cost of IVF and then there are all those days to go in for tests and finding someone to watch the girls.

    Plus I am concerned with my age, I'm 37 now, will be 38 in April and would not want a pg with complications or a special needs child. When I look at it in black and white it is a simple choice- we are done and I had my tubes tied, although I could still do IVF. It just feels like circumstances have made the choice for us.

    I would love a boy for my husband, although he says he is happy with his 2 girls, they are healthy and happy. If only...T
     
  7. daniellecic

    daniellecic Well-Known Member

    i think it is natural to be 'sad" after such a definite decision but after a while you will start to fill in those thoughts with thoughts of your family and the fun you will have together. at least that is what happened for me.
     
  8. bridgeport

    bridgeport Well-Known Member

    My husband had his vasectomy last month and as I was driving him home, I had to admit that I expected to feel sad and wonder if we made the right decision, but I didn't feel that way at all. We had actually planned on having my tubes tied if I ended up needing a c-section. Well, that was before said c-section came in rushed emergency style with no warning at 30 weeks. The babies were out less than an hour after we got to the hospital - no time (or coherance) to ask for tubes tied!

    Anyway, now because we women can't seem to just be okay with feeling good and always have to beat ourselves up for something, I sometimes feel guilty that I didn't feel any sadness at the idea of not having more kids! I guess I just prepared myself for feeling regret that I felt like something was wrong when I didn't feel regret! Crazy, I know. :rolleyes:
     
  9. Debbie F

    Debbie F Well-Known Member

    Thanks ladies - I am very grateful for my children and our life is so full. I guess as mothers and women we do beat ourselfs up for everything!!
     
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