anyone else been called "lazy"? **venting long**

ok, I know this shouldn't still bother me, but it does. so maybe venting here will help?

on thanksgiving, I'm just sitting in the kitchen with my mom while she finishes up the rolls to pop in the oven b-4 dinner, and out of the blue my 6 year old says, "Becca's mom think's you're lazy"
I was quite taken aback by this. so I asked her where she got that idea, and she told me that Becca (her little friend from across the street) told her at school one day that her mom said she thinks I'm lazy. now these are our neighbors from across the street, and my kids are the same age as their kids, and are great friends! I always kinda thought we were friends too. not best friends or anything like that, but at least people who are friendly to each other in passing, who exchange christmas cards, and don't talk that way about each other behind one another's backs. especially when the kids can hear! so I asked my DD why Becca's mom said that, her reply was "I don't know, maybe because you don't do the books anymore" well if that's the case I just wanna give her a piece of my mind! Becca's mom is the room mother for our daughters' 1st grade classroom, and they have a take home reading program at the school where every time a kid brings back their book they get a new one, and they read it out loud to their parents, and then the parents sign off that they read it, and the return it to school for a new one. so most of the kids need a new book every day, and since the teacher doesn't have time to switch out the books she depends on parent volunteers. well I'd been switching them once a week for several weeks, but it just got to be too much for me to be running back and forth to the school so much with everything else I've got going on. so I said that starting in November that I wouldn't be able to do it anymore. I was a school crossing guard (my last day was friday), and doing a co-op preschool for my 4 yo, and I have a toddler who NEEDS her naps or it isn't pretty. I also take care of my house, and have a heart condition that wears me out quickly when I'm not pregnant! so forgive me for wanting a break from something! why can't she call some of the other parents who are NOT pregnant? why isn't she talking about them behind THEIR backs?

anyway so it really bothers me that she thinks this, and it's made me paranoid! every time I sit down or take I nap I seriously wonder if she's watching me through the window to see just how lazy I am! I know she's not, but I still get a little paranoid sometimes.

oh! and this lady has 3 year old twins to make it worse! she just had #5 too! so I'm sure in her eyes we're pretty much the same! well excuse me for having a medical condition that I can't do anything about that makes me totally worn out a majority of the time! I'm sorry that it's not something that I broadcast on a daily basis! and excuse me for having a harder twin pregnancy than she apparently did because she obviously thinks that even being pregnant with twins, and having 2 kids home full time that doing these stupid books should be no big deal!

she just seems to think I'm just some lazy idiot without ever taking into concideration that everybody is different. and just because her twin pregnancy was easy she thinks everyones is!

*sigh* thanks for letting me vent. I guess I thought that since she'd had twins b-4 that she of all people would have a little compassion, but she's been the most critical one of all! and seriously I'm a little worried about what my cardiologist will say when I see him on Wednesday. I didn't know until last week that blood volume doubles with twins. that would certainly explain why I'm so tired! it would also explain why he laughted and said I could never handle a twin pregnancy when I joked about it the last time I was pregnant.

anyway, has anyone else been accused of being lazy, or am I the onlyone with such a nice neighbor?

I know I should've just blown this off already, but it's still buggin' me. what would you do? I don't even dare talk to her anymore.

thanks again for letting me vent. sorry this got so long.
I think this lazy pregnant lady will go to bed early tonight! lol!
g'night
Michelle

 

ok, I know this shouldn't still bother me, but it does. so maybe venting here will help?

on thanksgiving, I'm just sitting in the kitchen with my mom while she finishes up the rolls to pop in the oven b-4 dinner, and out of the blue my 6 year old says, "Becca's mom think's you're lazy"
I was quite taken aback by this. so I asked her where she got that idea, and she told me that Becca (her little friend from across the street) told her at school one day that her mom said she thinks I'm lazy. now these are our neighbors from across the street, and my kids are the same age as their kids, and are great friends! I always kinda thought we were friends too. not best friends or anything like that, but at least people who are friendly to each other in passing, who exchange christmas cards, and don't talk that way about each other behind one another's backs. especially when the kids can hear! so I asked my DD why Becca's mom said that, her reply was "I don't know, maybe because you don't do the books anymore" well if that's the case I just wanna give her a piece of my mind! Becca's mom is the room mother for our daughters' 1st grade classroom, and they have a take home reading program at the school where every time a kid brings back their book they get a new one, and they read it out loud to their parents, and then the parents sign off that they read it, and the return it to school for a new one. so most of the kids need a new book every day, and since the teacher doesn't have time to switch out the books she depends on parent volunteers. well I'd been switching them once a week for several weeks, but it just got to be too much for me to be running back and forth to the school so much with everything else I've got going on. so I said that starting in November that I wouldn't be able to do it anymore. I was a school crossing guard (my last day was friday), and doing a co-op preschool for my 4 yo, and I have a toddler who NEEDS her naps or it isn't pretty. I also take care of my house, and have a heart condition that wears me out quickly when I'm not pregnant! so forgive me for wanting a break from something! why can't she call some of the other parents who are NOT pregnant? why isn't she talking about them behind THEIR backs?

anyway so it really bothers me that she thinks this, and it's made me paranoid! every time I sit down or take I nap I seriously wonder if she's watching me through the window to see just how lazy I am! I know she's not, but I still get a little paranoid sometimes.

oh! and this lady has 3 year old twins to make it worse! she just had #5 too! so I'm sure in her eyes we're pretty much the same! well excuse me for having a medical condition that I can't do anything about that makes me totally worn out a majority of the time! I'm sorry that it's not something that I broadcast on a daily basis! and excuse me for having a harder twin pregnancy than she apparently did because she obviously thinks that even being pregnant with twins, and having 2 kids home full time that doing these stupid books should be no big deal!

she just seems to think I'm just some lazy idiot without ever taking into concideration that everybody is different. and just because her twin pregnancy was easy she thinks everyones is!

*sigh* thanks for letting me vent. I guess I thought that since she'd had twins b-4 that she of all people would have a little compassion, but she's been the most critical one of all! and seriously I'm a little worried about what my cardiologist will say when I see him on Wednesday. I didn't know until last week that blood volume doubles with twins. that would certainly explain why I'm so tired! it would also explain why he laughted and said I could never handle a twin pregnancy when I joked about it the last time I was pregnant.

anyway, has anyone else been accused of being lazy, or am I the onlyone with such a nice neighbor?

I know I should've just blown this off already, but it's still buggin' me. what would you do? I don't even dare talk to her anymore.

thanks again for letting me vent. sorry this got so long.
I think this lazy pregnant lady will go to bed early tonight! lol!
g'night
Michelle

 

What a cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's terrible of her, not only to say stuff like that but to say it in earshot of her daughter, who is friends with yours - great lesson to teach your kids, it's perfectly OK to talk smack about people behind their backs and then act all friendly to them in person.

1, you are not lazy, you are PREGNANT with TWINS, and 2, this lady sucks. Period. And you are right, she should be someone who totally understands but apparently she has a supermom/superwoman complex going on. And you're not the only one who's had to deal with this - not with a neighbor that I thought was a friend, but with a coworker, and one that I "rank" higher than at that. I was going to fill in one night at a cash register when someone called in, and this woman told an employee to tell me to stock some things. The employee said she would do it since I was pregnant with twins. This lady said it didn't matter if I was pregnant or not, I could still stock soda instead of sitting all night (mind you, these are crates of soda to haul around.) The nerve of this cow. The next day she feels the need to inform me that HER daughter had twins and SHE worked up until she delivered and SHE was much, much bigger than I was. Apparently she felt the need to make a point. Yeah, well then I felt the need to get on her back about every little thing she was doing wrong, and she no longer works in that area, hahaha!!

I tell you, pregnancy brings out wierd things in people. If people are jealous you are having twins, it shows, if they look down on you, it shows, if they think they are better than you, it shows. All that matters is what good you are doing for those little babies and your family and who gives a crap what the cow across the street thinks.

Hope you get a good night sleep!

 

I so understand your frustration, but sweetie, she´s so not worth it. I´ve found that people that behave like that usually have problems of their own which make them the miserable eejits that they are !

I know it must hurt and make you uncomfortable that she would talk about you like that and think of you like that. But honestly, she´s just showing herself to be an inconsiderate, heartless, immature...píka !!!! (got too mad, had to switch to icelandic, but this is a very very nasty icelandic term for people like her )

You just mind yourself and try to ignore this.

*huge hugs*

Dísa

 

I don't know, I think it's extremely possible for one or both of the children to have taken something out of context. I wouldn't start loathing your neighbor based on this. I probably wouldn't be inviting them over for dinner or anything, either, but kids are not always the most reliable sources. Don't let your child know you're bothered by it, either. You have to do what is right for yourself, not worry about what your neighbor thinks about what is right for you. I'd keep the blinds closed, though

 

I can certainly understand why you're upset. Sometimes women are made to feel guilty over the stupidest things!
I wonder though, if the girls are 6, did her daughter miss her mom's meaning? If she were sort of sarcastically or tongue-in-cheek calling you "lazy" in a joking way, the little girl might have missed it. My DD teases me all day about being an invalid who can't even get up to get my water - but it's loving and joking. If a young kid heard that, they might not get it.

In any case, don't let her get to you. Just because she's some kind of machine doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself and your family in a healthy, responsible way.
Sounds to me like you're doing a ton!
She should look through my windows during the day!

"Hey Trinady, my water glass is 3 inches from my outstretched hand; can you get up and reach it to me??" LOL - and proud of it!!

 

quote:
Originally posted by Overachiever:

"Hey Trinady, my water glass is 3 inches from my outstretched hand; can you get up and reach it to me??" LOL - and proud of it!!


lol! this gave me a chuckle. I've done that to my DH at times. usually when it took me a half hour to get comfortable, and I'm afraid to move for fear of never being comfortable again! and I'm not even on bed rest!

thanks for the nice comments. I know it shouldn't bother me. I just wish I could ask her about it to clear everything up, but we're not that close. maybe that's why it bugs me. I can't ever find out what was meant by the comment. things like that drive me nuts! oh well. it's not gonna ruin my life or anything, it's just frustrating.

lol! and calling her a cow! I don't know why but I just found that funny too! thanks to all!
michelle