Any tips???

Any ideas on how to convnce DH that it is a good idea to have another baby. I am desperate to try for another baby (hopefully a girl but another boy would be fine too) now we are married but DH is adamant he is happy with just the two boys. He is terrified of another set of twins and worried how we would cope financially. I have the same fears but also feel like our family is not yet complete.

 

Any ideas on how to convnce DH that it is a good idea to have another baby. I am desperate to try for another baby (hopefully a girl but another boy would be fine too) now we are married but DH is adamant he is happy with just the two boys. He is terrified of another set of twins and worried how we would cope financially. I have the same fears but also feel like our family is not yet complete.

 

I am sorry but I do not have any advice. Dh and I are going thru our 2nd IVF cycle right now in hopes of another child (hopefully a girl). I started working on him the day the boys were born about how I wanted more kids. So, it took us 19 months to get 'ready'. Dh is still scared but he is ready..

I guess you just have to tell DH how important it is to have more kids and hope he agrees - eventually!

 

My DH was reluctant as well. I started talking about it when mine were just over a year, but had no intention of trying for another until they were almost 2. I did get pregnant and miscarried around 18 months, but we didn't try until about 21 months. I just explained to DH why it was important to me and how I would feel if we didn't have any more children. I will probalby have to agree to some compromises with him (public vs. Catholic school, etc.). HTH

 

This is a tough situation. I have a friend that I used to work with who is in the same situation only he is the one who doesn't want anymore and his wife is pressuring him. Hearing his side makes me understand why he doesn't want anymore, atleast not now. You said your DH is adamant. Do you think that you could ever really convince him? I think if you try to convince him, he may feel pressured and possibly down the road resent you or the new baby.

I know that your feelings count just as much as his, but I don't think proving financial stability or showing him twin statistics will really accomplish anything. I think if it's something you really want, then just talk to him rationally and give him time to come to his own conclusion.

I hope you don't get offended, but I am looking at this from a perspective of my friend who is seriously distraught at the pressure his wife is putting on him for having another baby and they definitely have the financial means. His fears are that they have twins already and is scared that he won't have enough individual time with the new baby or be able to devote enough time to the twins.

 

Well here are a few I have been trying... Not that I am ready yet but I have to keep DH attention and talking him into another baby will be like telling him a prostate check is fun.

If your twins are identical, you can tell him that your chances of having twins are one in a million just like anyone else. Your twins are just genetically excited. The truth is they were suppose to be one extremely smart baby and all the genius and knowledge couldn't fit into one body so it split to make to extremely smart kids. So the next baby is bound to have at least 50% of the mental makeup of the twins combined so that should be one smart cookie. Then you can pray the twins get scholarships and focus on sending the mini-genius to college and paying off all the debt you went into with the twins. Not only that, the new baby will teach the twins to be well rounded individuals instead of two spoiled monsters by teaching them about sharing and siblings and patience. That can't learn that from each other because they have always existed together and their is two of everything. In other words you ahve to have another baby to save your family!

O.K. Now if they are fraternal, your just going to have to get him extremely drunk and use and ovulation predictor because getting him drunk repeatedly will kill off the chances of getting knocked up!

No seriously,

Try and tell him how you feel. Also be honest with yourself. If the next one is not a gyrl, will you HONESTLY be happy with your three boys. As much as I don't want a duaghter, I want one for Kenney (DH). I know he really wanted one this time around and I know he hoped this would be it, not only did he get two babies, he got two boys! He loves his boys, don't get me wrong, but a gyrl would make him ridiculous.

I know I have thought about adopting and its not for everyone, but if its not being "pregnant" that you want there is always adopting. Look into it and see if it is something your husband may consider.

Other than that good luck!

 

Ummmmm, just wanted to say--- I felt the same way you did and my DH was reluctant too............................................................................................................................................................we got another set of twins!!!! It's an awesome blessing, but it's a LOT of work! However, it will be well worth it.

Crystal

 

Thanks for all the advice - I think he is starting to come around. Things are looking up financially for us so it could work. Here in NZ you get a lot of financial help from the government too so that is a bonus. Fingers crossed

 

I say to give him more time. Once the twins get more independent, he'll start to reason. My boyfriend was like that at first,too. Now, he just says he's not ready at this very moment, but he does want to try again in the next couple of years. We want to wait until our girls go to school or head start. But, he'll come around.

Have you ever talked to him about how he feels about having a girl? because some men get apprehensive about having girls for some reason, so check with him and see where he's coming from.