Any tips for those with older sibilings

Any tips to help my two year old adjust when these twins are born in the next few weeks? I will try to keep her routine as normal as possible but would love any particular tips that helped. I am especially interested in anyone who had a 2 year old when the twins were born.

Thanks so much,
Lanie

 

my son was 16 months old when mine were born. it can be dificult but I think it will be easier since your child can probably communicate better and understand better. it was very hard but we tried to keep him involved as much as possible. he would get diapers for us, hold the babies (pretend holding ofcourse where we were helping him hold them). he would help hold their bottles. stuff like that. things to keep him involved when you are so busy with taking care of the babies. I hope that helped a little. Good luck!

 

My daughter is 3 and she is having a rough time once in awhile. But her dad's new wife had a baby right after our twins were born and so she got 3 new siblings in 3 months! Anyway we try to do one thing a day together by ourselves (this is getting easier as the days go by) We play games on Nickjr.com, we color together, we bake or clean and she loves to help with laundry. The big thing is to LET HER HELP!! Bring diapers, hold bottles, brush hair, put on lotion.... and the list goes on. RaeLynn LOVES her sisters becaus we let her help.... she just doesnt like it when other people "love" the babies (like HER grandma..KWIM??) The alone time only has to be about 10-15 min. and it makes the day so much better. Hope I helped a little.

 

I agree, let her help as much as possible so that she feels a part of this "new" and bigger family! Josh was 2.5 when the twins were born, and he had a couple of rough weeks, but so did we all! He is SO good with the babies though!

 

Ask her to help if she wants.

My son was 2 1/2 when the girls were brought home. We just kept to the same routine as normal. We really didn't make a big fuss over bringing the girls home. We just acted like they were alwasy there.

We didn't do extra things with my son because we felt he might expect it later on and just because we bring home a baby or two, doesn't mean he should get special treament - imo. We did things as a family - when we went outside to play, I would bring the girls and still play with my son. He never missed out on anything. I don't think he thought it was a big deal that the babies were home.

Keep to your normal routine -

 

My DD was 4 when the twins were born. She had a ROUGH adjustment. Unfortunately, our routine went out the window for a few weeks. I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I did before. There were lots of tantrums and crying. She was very rough with the babies, even threw things with them. I'd ask her to help, but she often refused. As they got older, Kalynn and I do "Mommy/Kalynn Time". It's just where she and I go somewhere by ourselves, without the babies. This has helped tremedously. She also is helping more, and even gets mad if DH does something with the boys. We still have our rough spots, but it's gotten so much better.

 

My oldest was 2 1/2 when the twins were born. I had her help but also made sure she had things to do (going to school, have a friend pick her up for a play date, had a baby sitter to take her to the park, etc.). Even though it was not mommy and me time in the beginning (now I have a baby sitter for the twins so that I can do things with her) at least she was busy and enjoyed doing things. We also went for walks, stopped at Starbucks, went to friends (when possible) and tried to do the things we used to do.

Overall she did pretty good.

 

No matter what you do there is going to be a big adjustment. Our son was two when the twins were born and the first month was ROUGH. It wasn't that he didn't like the babies---he just knew the old mojo was off. He went from being top dog to sharing the limelight with 2 more people and no amount of "special" time changed that. He just got used to it. Now he adores his bro/sis. He always wants to play with them and entertain them. It just takes a little time. So basically my advice is hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Pretty soon you won't be able to imagine your family without the twins!

Reyna

 

My guy was 21 months when the twins were born. Like a lot of the others aid let her "help". I also made a special date with my son every Tuesday for 1.5 hours. We would go out just the 2 of us and do something "special". He was so use to just the 2 of us hanginf out all day so this helped a lot. I think it gets harder later when the twins begin moving and getting in his space.
Good Luck
Cari

 

My dd was 21 months when the boys were born. I put her in charge of the binkies. It was her job to make sure they had a clean binkie at all times of day and she did admirably. Of course I now have 2 major binkie addicts but we are working on that!

 

Our oldest dd was 3 1/2 when the twins were born. We had a wonderful adjustment! We gave her a special gift at the hospital just from the babies, we let her visit & meet the babies before anyone else. She sat on my lap with each of them & let them hold her fingers. We tried really hard not to say "don't Kaylee...don't touch the babies!", etc...b/c we didn't want her to feel like she couldn't touch them, does that make sense? We didn't want to always be hounding her, I guess. We kept her routine the same, so she still went to her babysitter every day that I was on maternity leave, which I think helped b/c she got some time to just be herself with her friends. At home, she liked to help me by getting diapers & her job was to put in the pacifiers if they fell out & the babies couldn't get them if my hands were full. Extra attention (one on one) from us & her grandparents, etc. GOOD LUCK!

 

Our oldest was almost 3 when the babies were born. The babies had a "gift" for DC at the first hospital visit, and that helped.

Other than that, my mom created a "busy box" for DC. It included special toys that could be played with while I was nursing the babies (since I was completely incapacitated). A twinmom friend gave her child a pair of baby scissors and papers and her 2.5 y/o loved playing with that during nursing sessions.

It is a tough adjustment for the firstborn, for sure! My oldest LOVES the babies, but still the lack of attention was tough and there was some acting out. Just do whatever it takes to get by, even if your DD has to watch some extra Dora or Sesame Street. Years down the road, she will not even remember this time! Once your babies get to be around 6 months, you can have them on a good schedule and do some really special things with DD during their morning nap. (My babies started taking morning nap around 3 months, but I was so stinkin' tired from 3-6 months from all the night wakings, that seems like all I did was nap through Sesame Street!). Get TiVo if you don't have it!!!! (Spoken from a mom who didn't even have TV in her home until the babies were 3 months old!)

 

My son was just shy of 2 and a half when the twins were born.
He got special gifts from the babies, he still thanks them a few times a week
We talked a lot about what babies do (cry a lot) and when they cry we rub their heads and say its okay, he thought this was his job, so when one would start crying, he would stop whatever he was doing "It's okay baby, I coming!!" It was adorable, but only lasted a week or so.
Towards the end of pregnancy we started telling him lots of stories about when he was a baby, he loves this and will ask for more stories all the time.
One thing that is so simple but really helps make him feel important, is when he asks for something and I don't have to make him wait, I will say to the babies "Kyle and Lauren you need to wait a little bit, Mommy is going to help Ethan". He feels good that sometimes he comes first and seems to make those times he does have to wait not so bad. Very easy though I wouldn't have thought of it until a friend suggested.
He is not insistent on being a helper, though does like to put binkies in and is really proud when he can rub their heads and talk to them and they stop crying.
A few weeks ago we left the babies and DH, DS and I spent 3 hours together which was really nice and absolutely loved having both of us to himself for awhile.
It has really gone much better than I would have guessed.
Good luck