Anxiety?

I have a 20 month old and 6 days old twins. I am having alot of anxiety and a constant pit in my stomach. Today is my first day alone with all three kids, and I am a nervous wreck. I feel like my world has been flipped and I am having a hard time dealing with everything (and not sleeping doesn't help much). I felt this way a little bit with my son, but this time it's worse. The doc gave me anti-anxiety medicine.....but it only helps a little bit. I am hoping these feelings go away as I adjust to my new life with three. My mom has been here to help but it almost made it worse having her because I knew once she left I would be all by myself and now I am....and it's scary. Is this a normal feeling to have and has anyone else had it? How long does it take for it to go away??

 

I think it is totally normal. This IS a HUGE adjustment and rightfully, it IS scary!!!! And no sleep just makes it harder.

Do you have anyone that can help AT ALL? Can you hire any kind of help?

 

I think some anxiety is normal, but it's also possible that you are experiencing some PPD. Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. Please call your doctor if you are not feeling better on the meds. :hug99:

 

The first time you're on your own is really hard, not to mention scary! Give it a few days, and once you see that you can do it (yes, you can!!!) the feelings should subside. If they don't, talk to your doctor again. The meds will probably take a week to 10 days to get into your system and work, so give it a little bit of time. Make sure to take time for yourself when you can, even if it's just an extra few minutes in the shower. And, never be afraid to ask for help.

I promise, you can do this and before you know it, you'll be a pro!

:hug99:

 

I was fortunate to have my Mom for a little longer, so my anxiety didn't come till much later.

First of all :hug99: Please remember that you are coarsed full of hormones and a very heightened awareness of everything you are feeling!

This is what we did at the beginning of each day (after I snuck downstairs to get my 4 (yeah, 4) Eggo Blueberry Waffles) and then came back up for a few min. of quiet before the chaos.

We had formula so we put the right amt. of scoops in the # of bottles we would need for the day (make sure the bottles are DRY if you do this).

If you are pumping or using bottles - when you go to bed, set up a tray table at your bedside and put all your clean parts and a BIG jug of water there. I was SUPER thirsty while I was pumping etc.... Have it all right there where you are going to be. That way you aren't searching for stuff.

If you do bottles. At night, put the bottles (pre-filled with scoop - they are so little, I imagine it's not much) on the counter in the bathroom so you can just add some warm water. Have a empty bottle available for measuring water (formula takes up some space).

If I had had a 20 mo. old at the time, I would probably have relied (guilt) heavily on Sesame and Barney :blush: and some special hugs and kisses when the babies are asleep. This will be a good time to pull out the big puzzles if you have them. You can help work them while you pump or feed perhaps. :hug99:

Keep tabs on your emotions! If you find it's not going away, be sure to talk to your OB. There is NO sugar coating it, this is a VERY VERY difficult time in raising any kids much less twins!!! You are going to SURVIVE and it's going to go fast!!! :love0028:

 

my boys are 7 months old and I STILL get some anxiety when I know i am going to have a long day alone with them. if you can get help, please do not hesitate. But if you really have to do it alone, then you have to establish a routine for yourself, find a way to have some alone time everyday, and BREATHE. It took me a LONG time to realize that sometimes they were just going to cry no matter what i did, that I couldn't be in 2 places at once, and that, at the end of the day, they (and I!) would be OK.

 

I also had a lot of anxiety and I didn't have another baby at home to worry about. The twins were my first - I had no idea what I was doing. I was sleep deprived, stressed out, and had a lot of difficulty with breastfeeding.

My twins were born 2 months early and were in the NICU for 6 weeks. I thought I was all under control and past PPD - then they came home! My mom stayed with me for two weeks. I cried when she left. I took it day by day. I gave up on breastfeeding because it was adding to my stress - they wouldn't latch on - I had no time to pump. Once I let go of that, it helped my anxiety, but did not go away completely. I never had anxiety or panic attacks before, but I sure did when I was home with the babies. I would call my husband crying for no real reason except that I was overwhelmed. I probably should have gone to the doctor and gotten on medication, but I was too stubborn for that. Thinking back, I think it would have helped a lot.

I took help whenever I could. I had a lot of great friends and family who helped me to brave getting out of the house with two infants. If anyone offered, I accepted their help - even if just to take one baby for one feeding.

The best thing for me was to go back to work. It was hard to leave them, but it was so good for my mental health. They are now 7 months old - I still get a bit of anxiety about being alone with them, but it is so much better. My husband is going away for business for 2 weeks in February and I'll be by myself. I'm already stressing about that - but I keep telling myself that I CAN do this and all will be fine.

Someone told me that other day that having twin babies must be "so much fun." It is fun, but it is a lot of hard work physically, mentally, and emotionally. I think we should all be proud of what we do everyday and marvel in the fact that we are raising two babies (or more) at that same time.

Hang in there!

Hugs,

Jessica

 

I think it is totally normal. The twins are my first children so I really didn't know what I was doing.

Also, my mom stayed with us for six weeks. The whole time she was here all I could think about was how she was going to leave and how I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. To be honest the entire time my boys have been here, I have only been alone with them like a week and a half. In fact, DH's mom and stepdad are leaving today, his sister has benn here, his dad and stepmom, my parents came back, oh yeah and my neice came. We have had a lot of help. After Christmas we are going to stay with my mom for two weeks and then DH's other sister is coming. Ask for help. These first months with the twins have been hard, but definitely not as hard as they could have been.

 

My mom stayed for 5 weeks, and I don't have an older child! I had butterflies in my stomach constantly and felt like I was rushing around all day long when I started to do it by myself.
You are only 6 DAYS in! I couldn't have coped at that point. Can your DH help a ton at night? Can anyone else come help a bit, even to do laundry or make a meal or clean or hold/feed a baby?
The first weeks can be really rough - no doubt about it.
Things get much more manageable at 8 weeks, 12 weeks and then at 6 months. Just hang on tight until then and ask your OB about PPD if you have other symptoms too - hopelessness, depression, constant crying (and I mean CONSTANT, I did not have PPD and I cried frequently. All those hormones.)
Hugs,
Judy

 

i had lots of help in the beginning, but when there was a day that i knew i'd be by myself, i got REALLY anxious and sick. but last week i chased all help away, and said to myself, "they're babies. if they cry, they cry, what can i do? i can only do my best." and now i look forward to my alone time with them! of course, i don't have any other kids, so i can't totally relate, but i just wanted you to know that you're not alone with the feelings of anxiety in the beginning!

 

I admit I had severe PPD. I wanted to just DIE this started a few days after the twins came home. There wasn't anyone I could turn to that could understand what I was feeling. I felt so alone..... Wish I would of known about this site when I was going through PPD. My mistake I refused to take the depression pills and I battled feeling this sadness for too long. I didn't enjoy my twins first year like I should of. I gave in this past year and started seeing a therapist and taking meds and it does help. My anxiety was and can be terrible thing to happen.
I never experienced depression or had anxiety until after the twins were born. Like the other women stated it really must be our hormones. I didn't want to feel the way I did but I had no control over it. I didn't have help except my DH was terrific and so supportive of me and getting me help for my anxiety. I made it through the first two years of their life and they are the best thing that ever happened to me even though I felt so bad inside I still loved them and took the best care of them. They are such happy toddlers and now have been enjoying my time with them and getting the anxiety and panic attacks.

I just wanted you to know that there are women out here like you. I was much worse than you and had no reason for it. Our twins are a blessing and the time goes by so fast. You will look back on this and think "were they ever that little"

Take care it will get better.

 

Totally normal, plus you are 6 days post partum so you have all those hormones crashing down around you, I cried and had panic attacks every day for 2 weeks after giving birth to the twins. I was convinced that I had ppd, but once the hormones equalized the anxiety went away, I was still overwhelmed but the panic attacks stop. I think at 6 days post partum it's way too early to know if you have ppd or not.

Congrats on your twinnies and hang in there, it does get better!

 

Thank you all so much......I feel a bit more normal after reading that I am not alone in feeling this way. I;m realizing it's ok to feel anxious and nervous, and I am also only 6 days pp and I know my hormones are crazy so that is NOT helping at all. I am going to have my mom come back and help me out with my son, and hopefully I can get some bonding time in with the twins. I have to just take it all day by day. I just feel so much better after reading all your posts......

 

I had anxiety until my twins were 9-10 days old. What you have is typical.

 

Oh, this is SO normal! I cried for DAYS before i knew I was going to be on my own for the first time -- I was TERRIFIED (and I don't have any other LO's to look after either!) I will be honest and say it got BETTER after about a week -- but didn't really go away completly until about a month (when i finally felt like i had some kind of handle on the boys) -- but i think that anxiety is VERY normal in these early days (and sometime still!!) What got me through the days was the thought that i was in "survival mode" -- I made a "win" if we all made it through the day feed, dry, and alive!