anxiety

Hi All, I was wondering if extreme anxiety in the early morning prior to the babies waking up and at night thinking about the next day, is that a sign of PPD or just normal?

 

I had horrible anxiety in the middle of the night when they first came home. I don't know if it necessarily means you have PPD but it wouldn't hurt to let your doctor know what you are feeling. I ended up with PPD and have been on Meds since, but every case is different. :hug99: to you! Anxiety is horrible.

 

Hey Sara, I would talk to your doc, let him/her make the decision on what is "normal" or not! I am sorry you are feeling that way. I have had depression/anxiety for a long time...it's no fun to feel bad! :hug99: Call your doctor today.

 

Hello Sara~
I felt the exact same way you did. Actually this morning, I started to feel a little overwhelmed when DH was on his way to work. I said "can't you be here with us today". I feel like that every time he has to leave. Thank goodness its only every three days (he's a firefighter). I am a teacher and the school year starts soon again, I do not want to go back, but yet I am afraid to be by myself with my girls. Is that weird?? I love them soooooo much and feel like if I am by myself what if they cry all day or are fussy. . . I just want them to be happy, healthy, and full of love.

Jen

 

Hi, Sara. I had severe PPD, but was lucky to receive excellent treatment for it very quickly. (Meds, and 2 wks of an intensive all-day therapy program, and continuing therapy after that.)

For me, anxiety was the last part of the depression to improve. My mood was back to normal, but I'd still feel panicky in the small hours, just like you're talking about - "OMG, how am I going to get through the day, I can't do this, what if what if what if..." And that was even once I'd pretty much gotten the hang of the routine. In my head I knew I could handle it just fine, but I'd still panic.

So it could be a sign of PPD. DEFINITELY get it checked out ASAP - earlier treatment = quicker recovery. If your doctor brushes you off ("Oh, you have twins, of course you feel a little anxious") and your gut still tells you something's wrong, seek a second opinion.

In the meantime, here are some things you can try to feel better. They aren't quick fixes, but with time and practice they do help.

- Ask yourself what the worst is that can happen. Usually the answer will be "Both babies crying at once!" And then just remind yourself that crying babies are not the end of the world, it's normal for them to cry, they won't cry forever, you can soothe one and then tend to the other. If you find yourself worrying about more extreme what ifs (what if one has to go to the ER?), try to come up with a plan for those events (I'd call my neighbor and have her watch the one baby while I take the other in, etc). Make the plan when you're awake and calm. Even write it down if you want. (When your brain is fried from 24/7 baby duty, this helps!) And then when you worry about it in the small hours when your brain isn't working yet, just remind yourself, It's ok, I have a plan.

- Make a point of remembering difficult moments that you've gotten through, times that you've figured out tricks that work. When you get overwhelmed, try to think back, Oh yeah, there was that time that both of them were screaming, and I nursed one to sleep and then wore the other one around in the Bjorn for a while and they were all smiles later.

- Make sure you get breaks now and then, and make sure you plan for them. Treat them like appointments. Sometimes the big "what if" is "what if they don't nap at the same time at all today and I don't get to nap/rest/relax?" You can get through those difficult moments much more easily if you know that later someone will watch the babies (even for half an hour!) and you can just unwind doing whatever you want. And make specific plans. Don't just vaguely agree with DH that he'll watch the babies for a while sometime - plan that (for example) on Saturday, he'll take them out for a walk from 10-11 am, no matter what, and you will [nap/exercise/read/knit/have coffee with a friend/etc]. Or that after he's home from work, he's in charge of them from 6-7 pm, and you can [fill in the blank]. Or whatever works.

- Don't know if you have anyone to help you out during the day, but if you don't, think about hiring a mother's helper. Even a young teen coming for a couple hours a few days a week could lighten the load.

I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself. :love0028:

 

I had the same feelings. I'd call your doctor. It can't hurt!

 

I had horrible anxiety for the first few months. I would always dread nightime. I actually wished that the next day would arrive. At night it was like things were always worse.

 

I had MAJOR anxiety for 6 to 8 weeks - maybe longer (the first couple of months are a fog). I think I had PDD in some form but I was too depressed to go to the doctor's about it (silly, I know - I skipped my post-partum appointment). I used to cry if my husband mentioned taking them for a walk. The first time he insisted we take them (about 10 days old) I practically hyperventilated and we only took them around our little block - 10 min. Evan used to scare me really badly. He was very colicky and I used to think of him as a ticking time bomb - he was either crying or sleeping with a frown on his face, just waiting to start crying again (this is how I saw him). I used to be so fearful even when the babies were sleeping, because I knew as soon as they woke up it would be terrible again. I couldn't understand their cries and it all sounded like "Help me, I'm dying, you're a terrible mother!" to me. I smiled on the day they were born and then I don't think I smiled again until they were almost 2 months old. How sad is that? The good news is it passed - but I think it would have gone sooner if I'd talked to a professional about it. Why I couldn't bring myself to mention it to my doctor is beyond me. I think it's because I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted children for years before we actually lucked out and finally conceived the twins. I thought I was SO READY and happy to have babies - I expected myself to jump into the role of mother and be practically perfect. Ha! Just because you deal with infertility and really want kids doesn't mean you'll be an instant mum.

Anyway, enough about me. I think you should talk to someone. Do you have help? I realized after a few weeks that there was NO WAY I could do this by myself and I enlisted the help of anyone and everyone. Also, I sought advice from another twin mum. Having her gave me hope. Her boys are a couple of months older than mine and every time I see them I get excited about what's to come.

 

I would think that it could be a combination of both. My guys were in the NICU for 9 weeks. I had PDD for about 4 weeks and had bad anxiety. When we brought them home 5 weeks later I was a nervous wreck for a couple weeks. Even the first several days, I was so nervous I had vomiting and diareah!!!

 

Upuntil about a week ago I experienced anxiety quite often. My babies are 2 months right now and I feel a little better, although I still do get anxiety - mostly when they are sleeping or I am not with them. It is not really anxiety about their health, more about being overwhelmed and I cannot relax because I just know someone is going to wake up and they are not going to get the nap they need and everyone is going to be cranky and freak out and I am never going to sleep again and then... and on and on - you get the picture. I think the reason that I get it in the wee hours or while they are napping or when I am alone is because this is the only time we really get to think and I know my mind runs a way with itself.

I talked to my ob/gyn about it and she does not think it is ppd but thought I might need a change in my birth control pill. I don't know what your situation is but I tried breast feeding for the first three weeks and gave up after that. As a result I was on the mini-pill for birth control but it is without sufficient estrogen for someone who is not nursing. The ob/gyn switced me to a different pill with more estrogen and I do feel better. She also gave me a script for XANAX for the anxiety but I am afraid to take so it just sits there in case of an emergency and that makes me feel better anyway.

MOSTLY though. I am completely right there with you. I have no idea how I am ever going to nap when they nap as I cannot let go and rest due to the anxiousness that I am feeling sometimes. I am fine at night as DH does one shift and I do the other so I can totally sleep when he is "on". Lately I have been realizing that my anxiety is really just me being scared of my babies which is really funny because they are totally small and harmless and I try to laugh at myself and be thankful I wasn't sitting on a bridge in Minnesota during rush hour yesterday. I mean terrible terrible things happen to people everyday and having two screaming babies and not sleeping is not one of them. .... I am still feeling anxious though
I don't mean to talk about me, I am just trying to say what is working for me and maybe, hopefully that will help. That anxious feeling is a terrible feeling and please pm me if you would like to anytime.

Try to keep things in perspective and definitly talk to your doctor.
Amy

 

Thank you all for your responses. As I mentioned to some of you when I pm'd you, it is so wonderful to know that there are pple out there going through or who whent through what I am experiencing and came out normal/alive. Many of you have helped me through my pregnancy and you are doing the same now. Thank you all for your friendship and advice. My anxiety doesnt feel so lonely now. Good Luck to you all.