another "you got your hands full comment"

:angry:

Just one day I'm going to answer back in a not so nice way to those comments!! I was at the supermarket today
after a dr. visit...so dd was kind of tired of being in her carseat and got crancky at the supermarket...even before
she got cranky I had the snap and go on one hand and a supermermarket cart on the other and was managing just
fine until some #$@@ people started staring and making those "oohh my goshh you have your hands full...you need
help..blahh blaahh blah.. We were doing just fine on our own....

....and yes, baby do cry and they don't necesarrily have to be
hungry.etc.. they can be in a bad mood just like we are (dd was fine and smiling after we went outside)

when they are both smiling and talking everyone says how cute they are ...but have one cry and forget it...
that's where all the remarks come in...why can people just keep their comments to themeselves!
babies do cry..that's what they do...

and...I only do have 2 babies after all, yes they are the same age, yes it is hard, but is not like
is some rare thing.......

 

:hug: Sorry you had some annoying comments today.

 

We were at the market last week and the babies were in their carseats/stroller. I had just put my basket on the belt to get checked out and the guy said "wow, you have your hands full" I held up my completely empty hands and waved them back and forth and said " not really, they're pretty empty" ha! It was funny.

whenever people say wow you need help, dont you feel like saying "obviously you do to since you dont know how to keep your mouth shut" Im glad people dont know the thoughts in my head

 

QUOTE(Gimena @ Feb 2 2009, 02:39 PM) [snapback]1173057[/snapback]
....I had the snap and go on one hand and a supermermarket cart on the other and was managing just
fine until some #$@@ people started staring and making those "oohh my goshh you have your hands full...you need
help..blahh blaahh blah.. We were doing just fine on our own....


BTDT. Seriously, sometimes we twin moms, with two in a stroller, need to go grocery shopping. I totally understand. It sounds like you're doing great. WTG :clapping:

 

I'm sorry you were getting such annoying comments :hug:

 

I don't think they mean to be rude. I think people are really interested in multiples and just don't know how to start a conversation with us. So they just say what first comes to mind. Trust me I'm not siding with them, I'm just trying to see it from their point of view. Before I had twins, I was fascinated with people that had twins. For moms of twins, they seem to be everywhere. But for o/p it's not an everyday occurrence.

 

I agree people do have an obsession with multiples - I always did!
BUT some people are just plain rude. A woman I know said to me 'We were thinking about having number 3, but after seeing what happened to you guys, there is no way we are going to go again.'

 

I have newborn twins and a 19 month old toddler. You should see us with our twin Valco with a toddler seat attachment. We really create a spectacle. People do double takes and make comments all the time. A couple of Italian tourists passed by and we heard them say "Mamma Mia! Trio bambinos" LOL

I am ok with it when I am in a good mood, but when I am tried and pissed it get really annoying.

 

QUOTE(Gimena @ Feb 2 2009, 02:39 PM) [snapback]1173057[/snapback]
when they are both smiling and talking everyone says how cute they are ...but have one cry and forget it...
that's where all the remarks come in...why can people just keep their comments to themeselves!
babies do cry..that's what they do...

this is similar to what i was saying in the other thread. some people just can't be polite unless you support their vision of twins as a cute, happy matched pair. sometimes babies cry, sometimes they fuss, and that always seems to be, for me, when people go from smiling and nice to unhelpful and rude.

 

I liked the comment about no myhands are empty! I never wanted to have a big family but now I couldnt imagine my life without all of my boys! I guess no one knows how lucky we are (bad days and all) until they are in our shoes. When someone says something negative (how could we NOT be overwhelemed I guess they think! i think they would be and thats why they dont have multiples and we are blessed!) Like "Lucky you!" (sarcasm from my best friend after she said "youll have two two years olds and a teenager) I say "YES LUCKY ME!!!" We are truly blessed We should make a bumper sticker for our strollers that tell people how we really feel!

 

Sorry you feel so irritated by other's comments.

I agree with previous poster, I don't think people mean anything bad, they just don't know what to say and are trying to be friendly. Babies are hard. So why is it not okay for them to state that? It's like saying you hae a blue shirt on. Most people are not judging you or saying anything incorrect with this. Stating "your hands are full" or some other such comment is a good way for people to let you know that understand that babies, 1,2, or however many you have, can be hard sometimes. They are displaying empathy. It's much better than not saying anything at all. I think more people should try to engage with others. human contact is very important and I think it is rude to not acknowledge others.

I think Colleen's comment says it all:
"I am ok with it when I am in a good mood, but when I am tried and pissed it get really annoying. " It's really our issue not theirs. It's all about how you perceive and interpret people's comments. I believe most (not all) are just being friendly.

 

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ Feb 3 2009, 02:28 PM) [snapback]1174517[/snapback]
Sorry you feel so irritated by other's comments.

I agree with previous poster, I don't think people mean anything bad, they just don't know what to say and are trying to be friendly. Babies are hard. So why is it not okay for them to state that? It's like saying you hae a blue shirt on. Most people are not judging you or saying anything incorrect with this. Stating "your hands are full" or some other such comment is a good way for people to let you know that understand that babies, 1,2, or however many you have, can be hard sometimes. They are displaying empathy. It's much better than not saying anything at all. I think more people should try to engage with others. human contact is very important and I think it is rude to not acknowledge others.

I think Colleen's comment says it all:
"I am ok with it when I am in a good mood, but when I am tried and pissed it get really annoying. " It's really our issue not theirs. It's all about how you perceive and interpret people's comments. I believe most (not all) are just being friendly.



I agree 100%

 

QUOTE(Gimena @ Feb 2 2009, 01:39 PM) [snapback]1173057[/snapback]
:angry:

Just one day I'm going to answer back in a not so nice way to those comments!! I was at the supermarket today
after a dr. visit...so dd was kind of tired of being in her carseat and got crancky at the supermarket...even before
she got cranky...


My doctor said he read once about putting a dollar in a jar every time you get one of "those" twin comments. After yet another trip filled with them, DH and I had this conversation:

DH: Y'know, we should really do that, we'd have a fortune
Me: Yeah, but how would we keep track when we're out?
DH: We could get one of thise click counters [the type with a push button that advances a number - I've seen them used to count attendance at places]
Me: Oh, even better, every time someone makes a comment, we pull out the counter and click it with a really loud sigh.

OK I wouldn't really do it, but after the 10th "Boy, you have your hands full!" of the day, it's tempting.

 

I used to be annoyed and vent and then would get attacked and told I wasn't enjoying being a twin mom. NOT TRUE!

I than came up with some nice come backs that really help diffuse the situation (mostly for my sake)

comment:
You have your hands full

Response:
SMILE-yes but better than empty

Comment:
Double Trouble

Response
Oh you mean double blessing

There are others but I have to go get the twinnies up so I will try to come back later