Another sleep topic

So far we are feeding our twins every 3 hours, sometimes 2/5 hours. They get 3.5 ounces each. I always try to feed them at the same time or feed one, then the other so they are on schedule to eat together. Especially during the night, I feed them both propped on pillows and holding their bottles, I just want to feed them quick to try and get back to sleep. Last weekend, my mom and MIL each took a twin overnight, then I picked them up the following day and again that night they switched babies and kept one overnight again. I had an AMAZING weekend of uninterrupted sleep. Not to mention, some much needed alone time with dh, our older dd was away with the twins too. I'm wanting to send them off again tonight, last night was a horrible night. I don't think I slept more than an hour. I'm just worried that by sending them off and away from each other, it will affect whatever sleep habits I'm trying to teach them. Will one night away really affect anything? If they get off track with being on schedule together, can I feed one a smaller amount earlier than 3 hours to catch up with the other twin and be back on track? The night before last was great, they took a good while to go to sleep, but ended up sleeping a 5 hour stretch! It was nice.

Also, what works for you as far as sleep arrangements? I really wanted to try and have them sleep in their bassinets then a crib, but so far they sleep better on the bed with me. We have a queen size bed and we sleep laying across it, it's not bad, my feed hang off just a little bit but I feel more comfortable having bigger gaps between me and them. DD and DH sleep in another bed beside our bedroom. Our older dd did better on the bed with me too, and now she is almost 4 and doesn't like to sleep by herself! So I wanted to avoid that but right now I'm just desperate for some decent sleep. I know I must sound whiney, but I just don't feel like myself and it's just hard to function when I don't sleep. It'd be easy to nap during the day with them but we have our older dd I need to be there for. They are almost 7 weeks old. Any suggestions would be helpful!

 

My kids weren't really on a set schedule at that age other than feeding them both when one was hungry. I don't think one night away is going to hurt anything. My boys started out in bassinets and then moved to cribs. I was petrified of letting them sleep with us - usually if we did that, we slept with them on an air mattress in our extra room, but we avoided that unless it was absolutely necessary.

I totally understand about the sleep. My kids were terrible sleepers at that age, and I would have lost my mind without our parents helping. My mom came and stayed the night once or twice a week for the first few months, and my MIL came on her days off from work during the day and helped with the babies so we could sleep. You do NOT sound whiney! You sound like you are very tired and trying to sort things out. I have to say, from 6-12 weeks was definitely the hardest time for us, so hang in there! Take any help you can get!!! We finally got on a good schedule around 3.5 months, and then things started getting much, much easier.

 

I also don't think a night here and there is going to disrupt them too much, however, my one suggestion would be to set an overnight feeding schedule that both grandparents can follow. That way you shouldn't have to fix their schedule when they return to you. So, if they both feed at 7pm, then tell the grandparents they need to eat again about 10pm, 1am, 4am....etc. That way they won't come back to you on completely opposite schedules.

As for co-sleeping, we co slept with both of our older kids, and around 9-10 months old we transitioned them into the crib. It was a rough transition, but we made it work.

We co-slept with the twins as needed until they were about 4 months old. By that time our boy twin was really good about sleeping in the crib, but our girl twin needed more nighttime cuddles. I did have to do CIO for daytime napping in the crib with her, since she refused to stay asleep for me. But I continued ocassionally co-sleeping with her overnight if she needed it. By 9 months old we moved them out of our room and cut out the co-sleeping. Again, it's not an easy transition. However, all 4 of my kids sleep beautifully on their own now.

So don't feel bad about co-sleeping now. But if you don't want them to have issues like your daughter, I would suggest transitioning out of the co-sleeping before they turn 1 yr old.

We've all been there in that sleep deprived state, you WILL get through this I promise ya! :youcandoit:

 

So is 4 months old when I should try CIO? I know right now they are too young, right? How long would she CIO?

 

I doubt it would effect them at 7 weeks. That being said can the grandparents come over during the day to let you take a nap while watching all the kids. Not as nice but still helpful. Or can your husband take one feed a night? At least on the weekends? Or take them for an afternoon on the weekend?

We co-slept starting at 4 months. Prior to that they were on apnea monitors so we had wires to deal with. The boys were still eating every 2-3 hours at 4 months (2 months adjusted).

I have to say I am insanely jealous. We didn't have help since we have no family nearby and all our friends have kids or were busy with their own lives.

 

These are great ideas, too. One thing that my parents or in-laws would do is come over in the evening. I would go to bed after the late evening feeding (so around 7pm or so) and close the bedroom door to block the sound. They would do the next feeding (around 10pm), and then open the door so I would hear the babies when they woke up in the middle of the night. That gave me a good chunk of sleep, say 5 hours or so, which REALLY helps. If you don't have extra helpers, your DH could maybe do this for you one or two evenings a week?

 

Normally I would not suggest trying CIO with a 4 month old. I prefer to use it after 6 months old. However, I knew my daughter, and I knew she just wanted to be held while she was sleeping. I knew she wasn't hungry, she wasn't dirty, she didn't have gas....etc. She just wanted to be held. And with 2 older kids I simply couldn't hold her for every single nap. I didn't just let her cry either, I put her to bed with her paci, when she started cry I left her for a couple of minutes, then went in and patted her bum and soothed her a little, giving her back her paci. I did this over and over, gradually increasing the time by 30 seconds to a minute each time before going back in. It only took her a day or two to start falling asleep on her own. And during this time, her bro was putting himself to sleep and sleeping through her crying already.

I really don't promote CIO so early but as I said, I was at my wits end with her, she was exhausted, I was exhausted, and I needed her to be able to nap in her crib.

I would wait until yours are older to decide on CIO or not, it's not for everyone, and if you do decide to try it, you can adapt it to however you feel will work for you!

 

Thanks for the replies everyone. so what we have come up with is once or twice a week my mom or MIL will spend the night and help me, or like last night, I will go stay with MIL. I didn't want to have them staying the night because I just wanted to be able to get used to it on my own, but this really is very very hard. I hope it doesn't create any bad sleep habits with the twins, but I need the help. I can't wait til they are older! I want to enjoy them while they are little like this, but at the same time I'm ready for them to be 6 months old and sleeping thru the night. I just want to cry out of frustration so many times, and sometimes I do! I feel guilty because it's not the babies' fault at all, they're just being normal babies. I get anxiety when it's getting darker out, because I know it's almost time for bed and I worry about what kind of a night it will be, a horrible sleepless one, or an ok one. The ok ones are when I am able to get 2-3 hour intervals of sleep throughout the night, the horrible ones are when I don't sleep at all, or sleep less than an hour the entire night then have to function the next day. I just got to keep reminding myself, this will pass. Soon we'll be looking back at this time and be amazed we got throug it with our sanity! :wacko:

 

Even though we know it will pass it is still reaaly hard being in the moment now. I had a breakdown the other day and cried with the boys. We need to let it out too. Hang in there. . I won't say it gets better since I'm only 7 weeks into it but I pray it does for my sanity.

 

Oh those first few months are so hard! Take lots of pics bc you won't remember what happened. It's ok to cry too, I remember rocking both boys at the same time and all 3 of us were crying!! Just get help when you can and try to take a deep breath! Hugs!