Another question about sick little ones...

So, another question about the kids being sick (you can tell what I've been dealing with this week!). When your little ones are sick, who makes the decisions about when/if they need to see a doctor, need medicine, stay home from school, etc. My husband never seems to be any help in this area & I always feel kind of like I'm carrying the whole weight myself. He just leaves it all up to me to figure out & I just get exhausted. Is that the norm or is your husband more involved in those decisions?

 

We both make the decision. I'm lucky, DH keeps a really close eye on them when they are sick. We both try to hold off on the doctor until we feel it's just absolutely necessary, but we usually consult each other before making a final decision.

 

I would say it's me since I am the one who is home. DH is usually at work so I am the one who needs to decide whether to call the Dr. or keep my oldest DD home from school. If I'm on the fence about it, I will call him at work and get his opinion. But generally I am the one who makes those decisions. Now on the weekends when he is home, we both make them (but still more so me).

 

Definitely me, all the time. :hug: :hug: It is tiring sometimes but I think we know them best.

 

Me usually. BUT, for whatever reason, it hasn't been an issue. In fact, when I ask him, he tells me to ask you guys on TS instead!!! :rotflmbo:

 

So, it's not just me. That's good to know. I try to ask his opinion, but he never seems to want to make a decision. Do you guys trust your husband to take them to the doctor by himself? I won't let my husband. From experience, I know he will get home & I will ask him a bunch of questions & he will look at me with a blank look and say "I didn't ask that." So, I am always the one that does doctor's appointments, too.

 

Me.

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 11 2009, 09:03 PM) [snapback]1269211[/snapback]
From experience, I know he will get home & I will ask him a bunch of questions & he will look at me with a blank look and say "I didn't ask that."

I don't think this is the first time I have told you this Tina, but I swear we are married to the same person! :lol: If it wasn't written down, he didn't ask it. I have only had him take one kid, one time, that I can recall, in 12 years, and it was because I had to be in two places at the same time. It's a combination of his inexperience and my control freakishness about these things. ardon:

 

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 11 2009, 09:03 PM) [snapback]1269211[/snapback]
So, it's not just me. That's good to know. I try to ask his opinion, but he never seems to want to make a decision. Do you guys trust your husband to take them to the doctor by himself? I won't let my husband. From experience, I know he will get home & I will ask him a bunch of questions & he will look at me with a blank look and say "I didn't ask that." So, I am always the one that does doctor's appointments, too.

Oh heck no!! He stares off into space at the doctor. :laughing: He tells me all the time would rather I go.

 

Me too.

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 11 2009, 09:03 PM) [snapback]1269211[/snapback]
From experience, I know he will get home & I will ask him a bunch of questions & he will look at me with a blank look and say "I didn't ask that." So, I am always the one that does doctor's appointments, too.


I don't let Dave either because he won't remember the important things. Although when I took Pat last weekend because he had a head injury, I decided Dave is taking him next time. He kicked the crap out of me at the doctor's office!!!!!! Dave is stronger, he can hold the wild man down next time!

 

I do, because I am home all the time with them. I feel like I have a handle on the situation better and like to be decision maker about Dr.s and such.

 

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 11 2009, 05:07 PM) [snapback]1269012[/snapback]
So, another question about the kids being sick (you can tell what I've been dealing with this week!). When your little ones are sick, who makes the decisions about when/if they need to see a doctor, need medicine, stay home from school, etc. My husband never seems to be any help in this area & I always feel kind of like I'm carrying the whole weight myself. He just leaves it all up to me to figure out & I just get exhausted. Is that the norm or is your husband more involved in those decisions?



Me and the gals here on TS. :laughing: My hubby goes by how I react to things to make up his mind if it's serious or not. Though I can't blame him since I'm home with them all the time and I know better then him if something is up. :good:


:grouphug:

 

We both do. I'm lucky that DH is a nurse, so I often ask his opinion and we're usually on the same page. He has no issues taking them to the Dr. and does good with them when they're sick. The only thing that sometimes pisses him off is if I call the Pedi. office and ask ?'s I've already asked him just to make sure.

 

Melissa could have written my response for me! I was going to write just about the same thing. My DH is also a nurse, so I am usually the one that gets a little "excited" about things. I have no problem following his advice or suggestions about when to see the dr. However, sometimes I just need to call the peds office for added reassurance. That annoys him because he's already told me the same thing they end up telling me.

He's also awesome about taking care of the kids when they're sick, but they don't get sick very often.

The negative to having a DH that is calm and medically in tune with things is when a child is sick or hurt, and he says "We better take him to the ER", I know it's serious. That has happend twice. Same child both times. Really gets my blood pressure up!!

 

ME!!!!!

One time when ds#3 (Dawson) was a toddler dh was home alone with him (rare) - Dawson fell and busted his head. Dh called me at work FREAKING OUT!!!! He made me think Dawson had been scalped and was dying!!! He even wanted to dial 911 but figured they would take too long!! I rushed to the hospital from work - Dawson got 4 tiny stitches - when we got home -dh had left the front door WIDE open!! He still talks about it like it was life or death!! I have dealt with so much with our kids over the last 15 yrs that it takes ALOT to freak me out.

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Apr 11 2009, 06:42 PM) [snapback]1269263[/snapback]
Me.
I don't think this is the first time I have told you this Tina, but I swear we are married to the same person! :lol: If it wasn't written down, he didn't ask it. I have only had him take one kid, one time, that I can recall, in 12 years, and it was because I had to be in two places at the same time. It's a combination of his inexperience and my control freakishness about these things. ardon:


I know we are living the same lives on opposite ends of the country! :laughing:

QUOTE(Sarah© @ Apr 11 2009, 07:16 PM) [snapback]1269310[/snapback]
Me too.
I don't let Dave either because he won't remember the important things. Although when I took Pat last weekend because he had a head injury, I decided Dave is taking him next time. He kicked the crap out of me at the doctor's office!!!!!! Dave is stronger, he can hold the wild man down next time!


Oh no, Sarah, I didn't know Pat was injured! Is he okay?


Sounds like a lot of us have similar issues when it comes to our dh & the doctor's appointments! Must be something in the male genes... or maybe a control freak trait in our genes! :lol:

 

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 11 2009, 09:03 PM) [snapback]1269211[/snapback]
Do you guys trust your husband to take them to the doctor by himself?

Yes, I do. But I send him with a list of questions to ask, if I don't go. But generally he would rather me go.

 

QUOTE(Utopia122 @ Apr 11 2009, 09:31 PM) [snapback]1269034[/snapback]
We both make the decision. I'm lucky, DH keeps a really close eye on them when they are sick. We both try to hold off on the doctor until we feel it's just absolutely necessary, but we usually consult each other before making a final decision.

This is us and if he is at work I will call him. If we have to take someone to the drs usually he will take whoever is sick and I stay home with the other two. He takes them so we don't have to bring our healthy kids into the sick side of the office. When my kids were younger and before my son I used to write a list of questions for him to ask the dr. Sometimes he did and sometimes he didn't but he usually remembered most of the info. We did have to call once for one of my girls meds because what he remembered the dr telling him about the dosage and what it said on the bottle was different so we called to see who was right the bottle or my dh.

 

while my husband does have some input, ultimately i make the decisions..

 

I live where there's national health care, so thankfully, we don't even really have to consider it. We just go. But, yeah it's me that makes the decision that it's time for the Doc. He's a "Aw, take a paracetamol (Tylenol) and you'll be fine." kind of guy. And he never would even think to question it, even if we were on a private based health system. In fact, there are days he'll get home from work, and see a script sitting on the counter and say "Oh, who's sick?".

 

I make all of the doctor appointments, play nurse, hold the crying child when they get hurt, get up at night when they puke or want a tissue, etc. I'm also a SAHM so that's just part of the job. When it was something more serious like the plagio helmets, he was involved with the decisions (though it was still mostly me insisting and him going along for the ride).

I keep him updated, though. When Trent had to go in for a foot x-ray, I called him from the waiting room and told him we were at the doctor's office, what had happened, and what I was doing about it. I called again after the appointment to tell him that nothing was broken. I figure he needs to know these things. I don't bother calling to discuss diarrhea/vomiting episodes or moderate fevers or minor injuries (though he will likely get to hear all about it when he gets home).

 

We always discuss it and decide together. His family is who we go to if we need coverage in place of daycare, and he usually handles calling whoever to get that done. He'll take them to the doctor, no issue there. I don't know, we're an equal partnership around here I guess.

 

QUOTE(tinalb @ Apr 12 2009, 12:05 AM) [snapback]1269432[/snapback]
Oh no, Sarah, I didn't know Pat was injured! Is he okay?


Um, yes, my older and apparently, not very wise, son decided that it would be fun to run around with his 35 lb brother on his shoulders... and since that is 2/3rd his weight, Patrick slammed head first on the wood floor. Long story short-- had it checked because the welt was freaking me out. He is fine--- no walking dying disease here. And John got punished, of course.

 

QUOTE(Sarah© @ Apr 13 2009, 07:37 PM) [snapback]1271819[/snapback]
Um, yes, my older and apparently, not very wise, son decided that it would be fun to run around with his 35 lb brother on his shoulders... and since that is 2/3rd his weight, Patrick slammed head first on the wood floor. Long story short-- had it checked because the welt was freaking me out. He is fine--- no walking dying disease here. And John got punished, of course.


Oh, holy cow! I would have had that checked too. Hugs to Patrick and his mommy (and his brother, who I'm sure felt horrible!). :hug: