Another PT question

I have been potty training DS very gently for a few months because he wanted to go potty and be in underwear. It was a gentle approach - some naked time in the morning and possibly at bedtime, underwear at home or in the garden for a few hours whenever he asks for it, diapers for sleep and out-and-about. I have been going slowly because this is my general parenting style (gradual introduction of new things and skills) and due to DD who is not ready at all but insists on underwear too when her brother is in underwear and I just cannot take the amount of lanudry and messes she makes.

DS has been doing very well when naked - no accidents at all, he runs to the potty on his own accord and usually makes it on time. We praise him a lot and he is really proud. We don't use any other reward system (stickers, MMs etc.) and I do not think he would respond to it, he dances to his own tune and need to be motivated from within (apart from the issue of leaving out DD with a reward system).But it is hit and miss when he is in clothes - he keeps having accidents and does not seem to notice in time to go to the potty. He does go and sit on the potty in between, sometimes successfully, sometimes in vain. Does this mean it is just too early to train him? Do I leave it at naked time and have him in diapers the rest of the time? Any ideas?

The other problem is DD: I know that it is not uncommon for twins to be ready for PT at different times but she really want to train too, be in big girl underwear, etc. when her brother is. And I know she is not ready, she hardly ever manages to go on the potty and if she does it is because I watch her and pick the right moment. She has no awareness yet and no patience to sit on the potty and wait a moment. I am totally fine with her being in diapers, they are only 27 months, but she is either heart-brokenly sad at being left out or furious if she has to wear diapers and her brother does not. Did anyone else have a child who wanted to train before being ready or just to train with the twin? Can I make this easier on her?

 

My twins (b/g) trained at separate times. My DD was ready before DS and my DS could have cared less about the praise and treats she was getting at the time. Maybe you could tell her that she can practice on the potty and praise her for desire to do so. It sounds like she has the desire to try but might not be physically/mentally ready yet. It's hard for her to understand the concept that her brother just might be more ready then she is at the moment for it. I would keep having her sit on the potty, especially when your DS is going. And remind her that when she is ready to put pee in the big potty is when she can start wearing underwear.
It might be that your DS needs more reminders, especially when he is in underwear. I would maybe take him to the potty every 30-45 minutes to see if he has to go. And remind him to tell you. I would say things to my DS like, "It's been a while since you last went, how about we see if you can put some pee on the potty."

 

I went through this recently. I tried the naking training with them a few times. I always gave up on day 3. For some reason, I felt the need to put them in undies too soon. This last attempt, I focused on Abby, since Ellie just isn't ready. I gave the naked training an extra day and she totally got it. It was beyond easy. Don't know what clicked, but something did. She was doing so great at naked training and the second she'd have undies or clothes on, she'd pee. She has been doing great since, except for the past week or two. Having little accidents all day long. Today is a good day. Hopefully, it continues. I would focus on naked training for a while longer and then introduce loose fitting clothes. I'd wait on the other one until you think she's ready. I swear Ellie won't be ready til college

 

Thank you for your replies.

Maybe I am assuming too much that since naked training works, training in clothes should also work. I will try and work with more frequent reminders when he is in clothes and watch him more closely.

Keeping DD happy until she is ready will need a bit of creativity. I sometimes wish she were not interested, but that is not the case. Maybe I need a special big girl activity for which she is ready and DS is not, to show her that there are also things she can so which he cannot fully share yet.