Another bedtime question

We have been in toddler beds for a good 6 months now. They had the initial craziness when the cribs first left but they seemed to settle into a routine. They have never just gotten into bed and fallen asleep but they had several months of playing for 30-60 min then falling asleep in their beds. We took all toys except for their necessary stuffed animals out and lock them in.

Lately, things have gotten out of control. We do our routine, tuck them in, close the door, and not 5 min later there is running, jumping, shrieking, etc. We've tried to just let it go but they are not calming down eventually like they used to. It seems to be mostly X. He is so wound up at night. Z seems like she's usually trying to fall asleep when we go in there but he won't let her.

Something has got to give. They are up WAY too late and the last few nights have involved a lot of yelling and my husband sitting up there to get them to fall asleep. I can't even lay the baby down because I am afraid all the noise will wake her! I've thought about tweaking the nap but he is still a monster if he doesn't get one and is horribly cranky if you don't let him wake up on his own.

I welcome any suggestions. All the threads I have read talk about the kids settling down in a few weeks so I am wondering if I am the only one with super hyper child!

 

I do use discipline at bedtime. Bed time is bed time at our house. I do allow for a little "calm down" time right after their shower, because they tend to get wound up in the shower process. It's usually a book, cuddle time, or quiet tv (Caillou is a favorite and so is Dragon Tails for tv that's more relaxed). There is no playing during this time. We are still and usually the lights are dim or off.

Once I say lights out, then that's it. If there is playing or whatever going on, then someone has to go sleep in either the guest bed or get in our bed for a little while. They hate to separated at night so generally a reminder is all they need to settle on down. They only get one reminder.

I think maybe separating them (if possible) in your situation may help since you mentioned that Zoe seems like she's ready for bed. Maybe if you separate him out, he'll calm down. You can always move him later after he's asleep. (That's what we do when we have to separate them.)

Good luck! I hate bedtime struggles and believe me, we've had our share of them!

 

I had to tonight... I threatened to take one of their toys, then did. Then threatened to take dd's lovey, and did... went back in 5 minutes later and gave it back (I don't think she could sleep without it) and told her that I would take both away for good if she turned the light on again. She cried for a bit, but didn't turn it back on... I was impressed.

I've let them do their own thing so far but yes, this is just getting old!

 

We've had to. Like Gina and Fran, my DH and I have had to take toys out of the room (mainly from DD...one night, we took all of her toys out of the room because she just wouldn't calm down). There's been some crying over it but they do calm down. I remind them both that bed time is sleepy time and not play time. And that sleep is important for them to grow healthy, strong and for their brains to get smart. For some reason, that does work with my kids.

 

I've done time outs with my one DS for bedtime issues. My other DS is like your Z, he's either asleep or trying to when I go in there.

I only had to do it a handful of times and it worked for him. I just used the hallway next to their bedroom.

 

I absolutely use discipline at bedtime. Like you, we have a younger child who sleeps in the next room and I don't want the twins waking him. We have a camera in their room (so worth the money, I love having it!) and I show them every night that mommy can see if they are misbehaving. We threaten to take away their night light if they do not settle and only get one warning. If we have to follow through, taking away the night light is usually enough but we have resulted in spanking when they are really naughty. They have been in toddler beds for two months, no toys, and their nap has been cut to 1.5 hours. I have noticed that bedtime is more of a struggle when they nap longer. Whatever you decide to do, be consistent and follow through! Good luck!

 

Absolutely! We definitely use discipline at bedtime. I figure it's like anything else... my job to teach my kids how they're supposed to behave. Piper and Cricket are pretty good at going to bed, but it took a little while for them to learn what was expected and even now we have to remind them pretty much every night to stop talking and go to bed.

What works for us is talking A LOT during the day about what is expected at bedtime. For example "when Mom turns out the light and gives you the last hug, then you need to be quiet and close your eyes. Ok?" Then at bedtime we talk about each step "we're brushing your teeth now, then comes a book, then it's lights out and time to be quiet." Once I give that final hug, I remind them that it's time to sleep. They are actually quiet about 1/3 of the time. The other 2/3s require some level of parental involvement. Some nights all we need to do is say "hush girls" or something similar through the door. And other nights we say hush, then come back and they're still talking in five minutes so we threaten to take away stuffed animals, or turn off their special star light if they're not quiet. That usually works. On nights it doesn't, one or the other of us will go in, usually give another round of hugs, turn off the light or take the animals, listen to them wail in indignity for a minute or two, and then there is sleep!

I have found that the more overtired my kids are, the more they will fight sleep. The nights where we hit it right and they're tired but not wound up, they go to sleep perfectly. If they're not tired enough, they'll talk for a while and then fall asleep. But the nights where they're overtired, that's when we have to take animals away. So... from what you write, it sounds like your son might be over tired in addition to not having a clear set of behaviors that is expected of him. He's not to young for you to explain what you expect... and then being held accountable for it. Good luck!

 

Yes. Like others have said, our job is to teach them what we expect and what is appropriate. Bedtime is for settling down and sleeping. If they come out of the room or try to play and keep the other up, they get a warning. If they do it again they get a time out. It might seem odd to do TO when what they seem to want is to stall bedtime, but for my girls it works. They actually do want to go to sleep with their lovies, so they do their TO and then go to bed. Lately a warning is all it takes. And if all else fails, we start to warn them that we'll take away a lovie. We only had to do that once... and she had the opportunity to earn it back before falling asleep. Good luck!

 

Ditto everyone else, absolutely use discipline. We turn their night light off, and then start taking toys (stuffies) away. If they get up and play with one of the other toys in there, we take them out as necessary.

If it helps any at all, my two older kids are fantastic sleepers, and we're doing the same things with our younger kids as we did our older kids. It works, in the end it really works, and it'll be worth it for them to be able to learn to settle down and go to sleep in the long run! :hug:

 

Thanks ladies. I'm gonna have to figure out what will work best but now I have some ideas. I have tried to take his pillow pet and blanket away. Doesn't seem to work. He's not playing with toys...he's running, jumping from the bed to the floor, looking out the window, etc. Time outs...well that's a whole other post! I can't seem to figure out how to make him take TO seriously. I'm liking the idea of separating him to see if that works. The biggest problem is that between my work schedule and DH's activities, 3-4 nights a week one of us is doing bedtime alone. I'm envisioning a giant cluster if I'm trying to make him lay down at the same time I'm needing to feed the baby or get her down for the night! Keep the suggestions coming, I need all the help I can get!!!

 

Can he climb out of a pack n play yet?? I used that for bedtime TO's when the twins refused to stay in bed. They couldn't (or didn't try) to climb out of it. I put them in it with nothing else, and left them in for 10-15 mins or until they started yelling. It only took my dd 2 nights to figure out she didn't like this, and started staying in bed. DS took longer, over a week, but he's uber stubborn! :lol:

 

Unfortunately he can and will easily climb out of the pack n play. We used to have my parents (an hour away) watch them whenever we wanted a night out or a day to go shop without kids, but have not been able to do that since last summer because they were both climbing out of the pack n plays and running around. In fact, the only reason we converted their cribs into toddler beds was the climbing out. Xavier would climb out of his, then climb into Zoe's while she was still in there, and the two would jump around together.

 

I feel for you, my girls are going through the exact same thing. They are almost 4 and all of a sudden the last few weeks have started staying up reaalllllly late playing in their room after they go to bed (I'm talking like midnight!) Some of the things we have done that seemed to help are this: first we turn off their light using the ceiling fan switch so they cannot get up and turn the light on themselves. Second, we started putting them to bed a little bit later. Their usual bedtime was 8 PM, now it's about 8:30-8:45. They are a little more tired and tend to stay in bed better now. Also we do like some other posters mentioned, we talk to them about what is expected ("When you get in to bed, you do not get up until the morning time. This is the time for sleep.") If they continue to get up repeatedly or will not stop playing we take away any toys that they have in the room and just leave them with their blankets and stuffed animals. They seem to be doing better about going to bed now that we started implementing these things. I hope you're able to find something that works for you!

 

We were having the same problem after they learned to climb out of their cribs. It was awful. And we tried EVERYTHING.

Now, most days I no longer have them nap (it sucked at first but after a few weeks it actually was better). They do still nap when they seem extra tired.

At night, DD (the one with more trouble falling asleep) gets gated into the bedroom by herself with books and/or a DVD. She gets bored without DS around and goes to sleep. In the meantime, DS falls asleep on the living room couch. We move him before we go to bed. It's been working well (knock wood).

 

We had to cut out naps in order for them to sleep in their beds for the night. I tried to look to see if you still did naps or not. Now since our youngest 2.5 goes to daycare 2X a week she naps there, on those nights we often keep her up an hour later than her sisters. all sleep in same room.