Anonymous Letter

Yesterday when I got home from work I found in the mailbox a letter, no return address and it was typed and not signed. This letter in a nutshell told me that I had a terrible attitude about this pregnancy and I needed to snap out of it and ask for help instead of having such a negative attitude, and this person was just concerned about my well being...
I was really bothered by this letter for many reasons, but this person obviously doesnt know me that well. because if they did then they would know something more about me then the fact that my back hurts and I am sleep deprived! They would know the depression I was having when I experienced a 2nd trimester miscarriage and all the months and money I spent trying to get pregnant. I am truely happy about these babies! I am just tired and in alot of pain...unsusual, NO!
What was this person thinking? That this would make me feel better? If they truely were concerned and wished me well why did they send it anonymously.
While reading this lovely letter my 3yo daughter had an "accident" on the floor, my dog was jumping at the back door, my phone was ringing and I was trying to get a meatloaf in the oven before we had to leave for her my dd's gymnastics class! This person doesnt know my life!
Okay vent over!

 

I am so sorry someone took the time to send that to you. They are clueless!!!! feel free to Vent to us anytime! and we do understand!!


Hugs to you,

Missy
:love0028:

 

All I can say is WOW. That was really hurtful. I'm not sure what outcome they hoped that would have, but I'm sure it didn't give you the warm fuzzies! WE ALL understand how you feel and how stressful this can be. You hang in there and try to let it roll off your back!

Reyna

 

I'm sorry, that's a really horrible thing to do. If they were a good friend they should have sat down with you and asked you about things and asked what they could do to help. Some people are just very clueless!!!!

Hope you have a better day! :hug99:

 

ouch!!!

that was mean! I am so sorry someone did that to you.

hope you feel better.

 

:hug99: I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you get some sleep soon!

 

Some people are so rude!! Who are they to judge your attitude?!? Don't let it get to you, obviously whoever sent you that doesn't know what they are talking about!

 

HOW RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!
I cant believe the nerve of some people. I tell you what, I am the first to admit I have a negative attitude about this pregnancy but anyone who knows me also knows how uncomfortable, sleep deprived, lack of father-to-be support etc that is going on. If they were really concerned maybe they could buy you some flowers instead of passing judgment. Anonymous - how gutless is that.
Hugs to you

 

It is always so sad when people assume they know what is going on when they really haven't a clue!

 

OMG that is so rude. People always make the assumption that a twin pregnancy is like a singleton and it's not. All you need to worry about is your family and your babies and no one else. If you were to dwell on all the stupid things people say to you while you're pregnant with twins you would always be stressed out. Keep your head up, you're doing a great job.

 

Wow, what a rude thing that person did. I can't believe someone would do that and then not even have the guts to sign their name to it.

I'm sorry you got the letter. I would just throw it away and not let it bother you. :hug99:

 

Woah!! Unbelievable :angry: .

QUOTE(Lesley Anne @ Oct 4 2007, 07:38 PM) [snapback]436094[/snapback]
I was really bothered by this letter for many reasons, but this person obviously doesnt know me that well. because if they did then they would know something more about me then the fact that my back hurts and I am sleep deprived! They would know the depression I was having when I experienced a 2nd trimester miscarriage and all the months and money I spent trying to get pregnant. I am truely happy about these babies! I am just tired and in alot of pain...unsusual, NO!


Totally reasonable. I can relate to the months and money spent to get pg too.

QUOTE(Lesley Anne @ Oct 4 2007, 07:38 PM) [snapback]436094[/snapback]
What was this person thinking? That this would make me feel better? If they truely were concerned and wished me well why did they send it anonymously.


Exactly. I think sometimes people confuse "showing concern" with being judgemental. I'm sorry you had to deal with this :hug99:

 

what about a postmark???... would that give you a clue who it came from??... I think that's pretty cowardly to do. My sister accused me of having a lousy attitude during my twin pg...but honestly I really had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I was having twins. She's been pg twice now since my twin pg...and each time I razz her that she might have twins...she's so adamant that she won't...and All I say is "hey...if you do have twins I'll be the first to tell you to suck it up and have a good attitude!" LOL! She may have been right but the lack of empathy at the time really hurt. I think all I needed was validation..."Yes, susanna, this is hard..it wasn't really what you wanted...but there must be a reason that God gave you twins..and everything is going to be okay." I snapped out of it by the time the babies were six months old...but in the meantime, i needed shoulders to cry on not people pointing a judging finger at me b/c I wasn't responding in the most positive manner.

 

I'm going to guess that the person that sent this has never been pregnant with twins! Twins, before and after they are born can give you more mixed emotions than probably anything else in the world. They obviously do not understand that your heart can be overjoyed and your body be in more pain and discomfort that it ever has before. If they were truly concerned they would approach you directly not through an anonymous letter. Everyone on here understands how you feel so feel free to vent as much as you want. I had a horribly hard time being pregnant with twins and I did not have any other children or so much as a dog to take care of so in my eyes all you mommies pregnant with twins with other children, you are superheroes! :bow2:

 

1) It wasn't from me! (see where I'm from)
2) Want me to go and pay this person a visit for you? I can probably run faster than you can waddle.
3) If this person doesn't have the nerve to say it to your face, then you shouldn't have the time to worry about it.

 

QUOTE(first_second_and_last @ Oct 5 2007, 11:32 AM) [snapback]437109[/snapback]
1) It wasn't from me! (see where I'm from)
2) Want me to go and pay this person a visit for you? I can probably run faster than you can waddle.
3) If this person doesn't have the nerve to say it to your face, then you shouldn't have the time to worry about it.




AMEN to this.....I agree especially with # 3....I think the best thing to is disregard this letter....and it's intent...I wouldn't discuss it with anyone (out side of TS of course!!!) I wouldn't let that person feel the validation of upsetting you. That is obviously what they were out to do!


Take care, and we are all here with you and for you....and WE DO UNDERSTAND!!

Missy

 

I just want to thank everyone for the support on this-I actually felt guilty for a little while...thinking I should be more grateful and not negetive, but my complaints have been fueled by lack of sleep as I said and just daily stress. I can see that every single one of you knows my pain. It is nice to have people to turn to when I dont know a single person in my life that knows what it is like to be having twins...and it IS DIFFERENT then a singleton, that pregnancy was a breeze compared to this one.

Thanks again everyone!

 

Wow, that seems really insensitive!

I can't imagine going to all those lengths to reprimand a pregnant lady for being pregnant!

I'm sorry!

 

what a rude person!! Sounds like someone is JEALOUS of your twin status - and possibly infertile and sees it as an affront...of course these explanations in no way excuse the behavior but it really sounds like someone's jealous and/or judgemental....

 

People like to think they know everything. The person who sent it probably has issues of their own and no matter if s/he knew the whole story, they'd still find reason to be rude to you. :hug99:

I had a similar thing recently posted on my blog about how ungrateful I was, how I whine and how some people would give anything to be in my position so I needed a "reality check" (and I guess that's what she felt she was giving me). No matter that I've said at least 4 times in one month's worth of posts how guilty I feel to complain when I know how lucky I am, how I love these babies and am so grateful for them.... no matter that through this pg I've had 8 weeks of spotting/bleeding, 4 hospitalizations, hyperemesis, home health nurses to care for me when I was so ill I couldn't get out of bed, concerns over babies' sizes... all while working part- to full-time and being a SAHM 2 days a week...

We're just complainers, you know? <_<

People here understand and won't judge you like that. :love0028:

 

I am sorry. If this was a person that had any sense and actually knew you well enough to care they would have come to you and offerd support not criticism! :love0028:

 

What a gutless wonder.

I am horrified, appalled, and indignant for you.

Obviously, this person is horribly psychologically wounded.

Hang in there - you can't be pregnant forever!!!