Annoyed

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by sara b, Oct 7, 2007.

  1. sara b

    sara b Well-Known Member

    I do not have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I was told "If I had Twins...." over the last few weeks by my MIL. If she had them she would feed on demand, not keep a schedule, not wake up the second twin after the first one has eaten etc. The list goes on. I hate to have to break it to her, but they are ours and not hers. She has Grandma time etc. However when it comes to schedules and how we want to raise them, it's our choice. Oh the best one is that she raised a large family and never burped any of them. She doesnt understand why burping is so imprtant to me :mellow: .
     
  2. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    I think it's the job of all MILs to make the dumbest comments on earth! Obviously it's been long enough since she even raised ONE baby that she doesn't remember how exhausting it is.

    Just remember: when anyone who doesn't have twins tells you how to do things, just stick your fingers in your ears and hum! :p
     
  3. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    In one ear and out the other.... :hug99:
     
  4. Britten

    Britten Well-Known Member

    I can totally feel your pain. The 9 days my MIL was here when the twins were about 2 weeks old was the hardest of my life. I was suffering from PPD and an open wound and I needed HELP not a million stupid questions and comments! She would pick up a baby and then ask me if she needed changed. How am I supposed to know that from across the room?! JUST CHECK THE DIAPER! Or she would criticize something but in a passive-aggressive way...like she would pretend she was talking to the baby and say "I don't think this is the best brand of bottle for you." My favorite though was on the day she arrived (in the same time zone and only a 2 1/2 hour direct flight) she informed us that she was too tired from her traveling to get up for a night feeding!! OMG! I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in 2 days and SHE was tired!!

    I actually mentally shut myself off from her on day 4. I just quit talking. In fact, I still have not spoken to her and the girls are now 4 months old.

    I have no advice since I did not handle my MIL well myself....but I certainly know how you feel.
     
  5. Her Royal Jennyness

    Her Royal Jennyness Well-Known Member

    You have 2 choices -

    Step 1 - insert your fingers into your ears
    Step 2 - loudly sing "lalalalalalalalala, I can't hear you!"

    or

    Step 1 - anytime MIL says something starting with "If I had twins..." use a non-response like "Oh really?" "You would?" "That's nice." "I'll have to consider that." "That's interesting." Eventually she'll realize you aren't listening to the pearls of wisdom that she is imparting on you and hopefully give up.
     
  6. Her Royal Jennyness

    Her Royal Jennyness Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(sunshinetwins @ Oct 7 2007, 02:34 PM) [snapback]439595[/snapback]
    I can totally feel your pain. The 9 days my MIL was here when the twins were about 2 weeks old was the hardest of my life. I was suffering from PPD and an open wound and I needed HELP not a million stupid questions and comments! She would pick up a baby and then ask me if she needed changed. How am I supposed to know that from across the room?! JUST CHECK THE DIAPER! Or she would criticize something but in a passive-aggressive way...like she would pretend she was talking to the baby and say "I don't think this is the best brand of bottle for you." My favorite though was on the day she arrived (in the same time zone and only a 2 1/2 hour direct flight) she informed us that she was too tired from her traveling to get up for a night feeding!! OMG! I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in 2 days and SHE was tired!!

    I actually mentally shut myself off from her on day 4. I just quit talking. In fact, I still have not spoken to her and the girls are now 4 months old.

    I have no advice since I did not handle my MIL well myself....but I certainly know how you feel.

    My MIL did that to me once, the passive aggressive talking baby. Next time I picked up Dave (who was crying) I said, "Oh look, you don't like passive aggressive people that are afraid to talk to your mommy, do you? You want them to talk to me directly instead of using you because it's really obnoxious, huh? You poor thing!" MIL rolled her eyes but never did it again.
     
  7. MissyEby

    MissyEby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Oct 7 2007, 04:51 PM) [snapback]439608[/snapback]
    My MIL did that to me once, the passive aggressive talking baby. Next time I picked up Dave (who was crying) I said, "Oh look, you don't like passive aggressive people that are afraid to talk to your mommy, do you? You want them to talk to me directly instead of using you because it's really obnoxious, huh? You poor thing!" MIL rolled her eyes but never did it again.



    That is awesome! I am taking notes...I have been getting stupid comments all along through this pregnancy....I can just imagine what I will hear once they are actually here! I am putting a sign on my window to my front door...."Unsolicited advice UNWELCOME!"

    Kudo's to you...

    Missy
     
  8. AshleyLD

    AshleyLD Well-Known Member

    Well at least she cares... DH's parents seem to not care at all about these babies... the only thing they have said something about is the babies being on TV! They didnt even give us a gift when the babies were born!!
     
  9. ~ilyse~

    ~ilyse~ Well-Known Member

    That would really annoy me too!!!
     
  10. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Oct 7 2007, 08:51 PM) [snapback]439608[/snapback]
    My MIL did that to me once, the passive aggressive talking baby. Next time I picked up Dave (who was crying) I said, "Oh look, you don't like passive aggressive people that are afraid to talk to your mommy, do you? You want them to talk to me directly instead of using you because it's really obnoxious, huh? You poor thing!" MIL rolled her eyes but never did it again.


    :rotflmbo: That is hysterical! Good for you!!!
     
  11. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Oct 7 2007, 08:47 PM) [snapback]439606[/snapback]
    You have 2 choices -

    Step 1 - insert your fingers into your ears
    Step 2 - loudly sing "lalalalalalalalala, I can't hear you!"

    or

    Step 1 - anytime MIL says something starting with "If I had twins..." use a non-response like "Oh really?" "You would?" "That's nice." "I'll have to consider that." "That's interesting." Eventually she'll realize you aren't listening to the pearls of wisdom that she is imparting on you and hopefully give up.

    I'm with Jenny on this. You have to raise your children YOUR way...if you were doing all those things I bet your MIL would still do it differently if she had twins :winking0009:

    Funny - I actually feed mine on demand & didn't wake them - everyone kept telling me to put them on a schedule! I did it that way because I was BF but did not want to tandem. Also, it was easier for me with my DD1 to just have one baby up/eating as much as possible in the early months. I know most on here swear by a schedule - but that was what I felt worked best for us. I'm with you on the unsolicited advice though!!! Also, I have to admit, a comment from my MIL is usually more annoying to me than a comment from pretty much anyone else. I just can't help that :laughing:
     
  12. sara b

    sara b Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Oneplus2more @ Oct 7 2007, 06:43 PM) [snapback]439719[/snapback]
    I'm with Jenny on this. You have to raise your children YOUR way...if you were doing all those things I bet your MIL would still do it differently if she had twins :winking0009:

    Funny - I actually feed mine on demand & didn't wake them - everyone kept telling me to put them on a schedule! I did it that way because I was BF but did not want to tandem. Also, it was easier for me with my DD1 to just have one baby up/eating as much as possible in the early months. I know most on here swear by a schedule - but that was what I felt worked best for us. I'm with you on the unsolicited advice though!!! Also, I have to admit, a comment from my MIL is usually more annoying to me than a comment from pretty much anyone else. I just can't help that :laughing:


    Thanks. I bottle feed them. However, I dont do it at the same time. when one baby is done being fed and changed I take care of the second one. In the begining they were an hour apart, now I do it 1/2 hour. Depends how long the feed takes. I am too anxious to feed on demand. What if I had to feed them both at the same time.
     
  13. Jordari

    Jordari Well-Known Member

    First - as far as i am concerned, I've learned that i NEVER listen to 'advice' from anyone who hasn't had twins. And even taht advice i take with a grain of salt, because i've learned that i have to do what works for MY babies and MY family.

    I borrow a line from a poster that i read here one months ago: whenever someone offers unsolicitied advice, she'd ask "oh, how old are your twins? Oh, you don't have twins?"...and people would usually shut up. Of course it's different when it's your MIL, but - definitely try and tune her out.

    My mil told me that she couldn't believe we put our poor babies were in straightjackets (the Miracle Blanket), and didn't believe me when i told her it worked but -she saw that it did. And if not, what do i care - these are MY babies, not hers.

    I think it takes some time to get some confidence and you WILL learn to trust yourself.

    in terms of feeding them both if they are hungry; if you are bottle feeding you can put them both in bouncies; if you are nursing and can't tandem (I almost never could), you COULD nurse one and feed one EBF.
     
  14. Aurie

    Aurie Well-Known Member

    Well with my MIL, she actually did raise twins. So for the first time ever, I actually listened to some of her advice (directed at twindom and not mothering in general) and tried it. A few things worked and a few didn't. Her general mothering advice is what normally gets to me. Fortunately for me, she doesn't live close enough to impart too much of her 'knowledge' on me.
     
  15. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(sara b @ Oct 7 2007, 08:25 PM) [snapback]439820[/snapback]
    Thanks. I bottle feed them. However, I dont do it at the same time. when one baby is done being fed and changed I take care of the second one. In the begining they were an hour apart, now I do it 1/2 hour. Depends how long the feed takes. I am too anxious to feed on demand. What if I had to feed them both at the same time.

    Give yourself some credit - you are a twin Momma - you can handle anything!! :D I'm a big advocate of devising your own system - whatever works for you - but just know that YOU CAN handle it when that day comes and things aren't going according to plan & they are both screaming bloody murder for their bottle at the same time, they both have diaper blowouts, are sick...
     
  16. CHJH

    CHJH Well-Known Member

    "Wow, that sounds like it would work really well with your hypothetical twins. Here's what works with my REAL twins..."
     
  17. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    "Wow, that sounds like it would work really well with your hypothetical twins. Here's what works with my REAL twins..."

    :rotflmbo:

    I'll have to keep that one in mind!
     
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