Annoyed With Everyone!

I"m getting to the point of my pregnancy where everyone is bothering me....I hate the phone ringing, people dropping by and all the questions and talk about the babies...people asking "when? when? and how do you feel today?"...my MIL calls about 3xs a day and my 3 sisters and mother call and my friends...most times now I do not even answer the phone at all...

I tried to explain to a friend about how I feel but she said "well, everyone is just concerned" and didn't take it too well....I think she thought I was selfish...

BUT I just wanted to say I find that at this stage, I'm kinda withdrawing into myself and do not want to interact much with people - nothing personal...just getting ready for my babies I guess...I just want my routine and to rest and have quiet time....

I guess it's normal isn't it?

 

:hug: I do think it's normal, or at least I hope, because I did the same thing. Towards the end I was big and uncomfortable and couldn't wait to meet my babies... and for some reason that made me withdraw. :hug:

 

I just want to be left to myself most of the time too.... to wallow in my pain and uncomfortableness. That and my house is a mess from not being able to get off the couch... so I need to send out the memo... Please Do Not Come Over. LOL! (Seriously though)

 

I think we all went/go through that once we hit that wall. Just understand that people mean well and they really have no clue what you are coping with and how you feel. Unless they have had multiples, they just can't.
I know I got wicked annoyed with being asked "when?" all the time. Especially since with multiples that question started at about 6 months. Ugh.
Hang tough girl!

 

I can relate to how you are feeling! I am a very independent person and the hardest thing for me having twins is that everyone thinks they need to step in and help at every moment possible and to be honest, I hate that. I know they are just trying to be nice and help but DH and I live 4 and 5 hours away from both our families so I do this all day everyday by myself and I have this down pat! When people come to visit it's like they get in my way and slow me down and it bugs me. I would rather them enjoy playing with the babies and let me be their mom and take care of them. The question I got tired of hearing when pregnant was "how did you sleep last night" I heard it ALL the time. Now that the babies are here I still get that question. ugh!

If you don't want to talk to anyone just don't answer the phone. Let them leave a voice mail and call them back when YOU are ready to talk. If you are afraid they will keep you on the phone too long then create a reason to get off...tell them you have to go pee!

 

My SIL got the same way and at first I was like :umm: but just let her be (or tried to) and just focused on feeding and helping her!

 

:hug: I remember feeling the exact same way!! I didn't want to talk to anybody, especially because it meant saying the same things over and over again. One thing that really helped people to leave me alone was to update my blog. That way if people were genuinely concerned, they could go there and get the updates and I didn't have to repeat myself a thousand times. It definitely cut back on the amount of phone calls and interactions with different people that I just wasn't in the mood for. :hug: Good Luck!

 

:hug: It does get frustrating when everyone asks you all the time how you are feeling, etc. :hug: Sometimes I think people think that is the natural thing to say to a pregnant woman and are trying to make conversation. That's really nice that your MIL cares so much to check on you though, my MIL would never call me or our house more than 2 times a week. :lol:

 

QUOTE(Kyrstyn @ May 20 2009, 07:05 AM) [snapback]1321199[/snapback]
:hug: I remember feeling the exact same way!! I didn't want to talk to anybody, especially because it meant saying the same things over and over again. One thing that really helped people to leave me alone was to update my blog. That way if people were genuinely concerned, they could go there and get the updates and I didn't have to repeat myself a thousand times. It definitely cut back on the amount of phone calls and interactions with different people that I just wasn't in the mood for. :hug: Good Luck!

Ditto the blog suggestion. I started one when I was pregnant with DS because I was sick of answering the same questions, over and over and over again...we live 200+ miles from both families...the blog has since taken on a life of its own, and people regularly thank me for having it so that they know what is going on with us and see photos of the growing babes!

 

I remember a post similar to this when I was about 20 weeks and we all got together and figured out how to ward off those unwanted phone calls...each morning when you get up, record a new message on your answering machine. Something like this: "Hello, you've reached the _____ family and today is Wednesday, May 20th. I am still pregnant, I slept fine last night, I am eating enough, I do not need anything right now. We appreciate your interest and concern. Have a great day!"

One of two things will happen, your callers will either get the point, or they'll be satisfied with your answers to their predictable questions! :lol:

 

I definitely felt that way! Between the 9 weeks of bedrest, the PTL scares, and just being miserable, I just wanted to be alone. Looking back, it was the beginning of depression for me, which I was treated for immediately after I had the babies, but I am sure to some degree, the way you are feeling is completely normal. :hug:

 

I used to flip out when people would say "How do you feel?" I would say how do you think I feel!!!! It annoyed me so much I don't know why.

 

That's called dhormones and everyone reacts differently. I never withdrew from people like that. I do think you need to understand they are not trying to be annoying They care and that's why they are being so attentive. Just try to have some patience.

:hug: hang in there. It's better to have too many people caring to much than no one caring at all.

 

I remember that feeling so well! I just had DH run interference for me. He answered the phone and all the questions!

 

I actually can say that I felt/feel the same way as you. The reason why I say felt is because I have done alot of rearranging to get rid of the things that annoy me. This is a normal thing with multiples/pregnancy I see. And for some reason we don't really like to even hear "They don't really know... they are just trying to be helpful." (Although that may be so true) But why should we have to be sensitive towards their emotions. Heck...I don't feel like walking on eggshells about anyone elses emotions. So that is the main reason why I don't want to be bothered. I can't keep feeling guilty or apologizing for my hormones and emotions. I do like being to myself. I don't like being asked all the time "So how are the babies" As if they expect for some problem or struggle with carrying twins to be or something. I actually got to the place where I stopped people in their tracks when they tried to rub my belly. I tell them flat out that I don't like it and I don't make apologies for it. So again...In this condition I rather be by myself so that I don't offend anyone or so they don't get on my nerves.I actually let my cellphone get turned off and it feels so peaceful to not hear that phone ring. I told my husband if he needs to contact me to contact me through email.(alot of people don't know my email so that way my hubby can get through to me if he needs me) Especially now that it is drawing close to my delivery date...I am really going into a shell. I only talk to certain people.My mother,husband,a few friends who have just had babies theirselves. Basically people who give me and respect my space right now. And the main people who ask you those questions seem like they ask you that everytime you see them ( I guess they have no other subject to talk to us about) It's o.k to feel what you are feeling because some people make us feel overwhelmed and anxiety and we don't need that. Then sometimes they ask personal questions..like although I did not conceive my babies through IVF...people out of their curiosity (I guess) actually ask that question. Girl you are not the only one Annoyed with Everyone! But I feel that I have things under control now and I think that turning my phone off will get rid of the others...I think that I will leave it off for 2-3 wks.And once I have my babies maybe when my hormones normalize and I can deal with folks...I will explain what I was going through.Good Luck.

 

yes, this is my most annoying day of all...plus, my most uncomfortable day of all...just feel like crying...definately horomonal....

the thing about the blog, i totally agree! i even set up a special website with pics and update with every appointment but for some reason everyone still calls on every single day i have an appointment (which is once a week now)....4 sisters and my neice and my mom and my MIL all call me every single frikkin time...i sent them all the blog information and said to check there for updates BUT they still call me and if they get the answering machine, they leave messages

"hiiii, just wondering how your appointment went today...call me when you get in...blah blah"

i know they care but common guys...it's really starting to bug me...

i asked dh today if he would answer all of my calls and answer for me but he said "no way, i'm not spending all night on the phone". thanks

so, i guess i have to deal with it...already rec'd 2 calls and been home for 1 hour....so i said all is well and no change and i'm tired....so they ask details and more details and then say...what's wrong? are you tired? i say, yes i'm exhausted and i just got home and i have to lie down and i'm tired alot and not in the mood for talking and they say...ohhhh....pause...ok, i'll let you go (then i feel like a dink) and i know they do not understand and think i'm just a witch.

sigh.

sorry - having a bad day. (even told dh i had grave concerns for what is to come and i don't think i can handle it....)

he's outside now doing yard work...quiet...

sigh.

 

:hug: If the blog is not working, then I wouldn't answer my phone. If it is stressing you out, you need to separate yourself somehow. Its not worth it! You can even explain to them that you are going on phone hiatus and you just want some time to yourself. I hope they understand! :hug:

 

Sorry they are bugging you. I like the answering machine thing that is funny. I am also sorry the blog isn't working. I would just call back when you feel necessary and not on their schedule. If that is 2 days later than it is 2 days later. Can you text them like a group text and just say everything is fine, tired and need to get sleep. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but once the babies are born the questions don't stop.

 

I've gone beyond the point of politeness since IMO most people aren't being polite, just nosy. Now I answer their questions honestly and straight forward. If I'm sick of being bothered I tell them as nice as I can. People have no clue that they are being part of the problem if you don't tell them.

So far the hands off part is coming easily, and I pray it doesn't change. I'm not a touchy feely person unless you are my husband, parents, or a dear friend. My tummy is easily hidden right now and I hope I can keep it that way. I'm not crippled, just pregnant!

 

Totally normal. I remember those days, too. I threatened to have the phone disconnected. I discovered turning the ringers off, and the answering machine down did wonders for my stress and aggrivation levels. I also became a pro at the talk and run call on the way home - I'd call my mom after the appt to give her a 2 min update so she wouldn't call and email me a gagillion times. I would time the call to be right before I got somewhere - just got home, gotta pee. Just got on the freeway, traffic's a mess, better go pay attention. Just pulled into the gas station, gotta get gas. And oh, BTW, can you call X and fill them in, too? Gave her a purpose, kept everyone informed, and saved me lots of hassle.

After a while of not being able to get in touch I discovered that you'd be surprised how many people quit trying, too. "Oh you are never home, so I don't even bother!" It also made people start to call DH instead of me. After a while of it he became much more supportive of the turn the ringer off plan.