Annoyed as Heck

Hi all,

This is a bit of a rant, and sadly I feel that this is the only place I can blow off this steam. I'm sure you will all understand, so here it goes.

My MIL visited with her sister about 3 months ago, and hung out with us and our boys for a few days. We had a marvelous time, they were showering love on the kids like crazy. However, I noticed the sister had a pimple or a sore on her lip, and was kissing my boys. I was very nervous about this, and that night, I asked my hubbie to ask his aunt whether or not it was a cold sore on her lip, and if so, not to kiss the boys.

"Yes, it's a cold sore, but I'm trying to kiss the boys with the other side of my mouth instead". UGH. "Well, the wife is super nervous about the kids, since they're her first, etc, and I think she would feel more comfortable if you not kiss the kids with it".

I lost it that night. I was SUPER ticked off. How can someone who knows that they have an open sore still KISS MY KIDS ON THE LIPS!??!???!??! @(!#^^@#(**&%!!!!!!!

Anyway, she was good the rest of the visit, and hasn't kissed the kids since. I've been watching and hoping that they didn't catch it. Well, my one son woke up this morning, with a coldsore on his lip.

I cannot express how annoyed and frustrated I am about this. Do people just not think about stuff like this and although they have a non-curable contagious medical issue, still think no one else will catch it? I'm trying not to lose my cool right now, as this is relatively innocuous, other than it's contagious to anyone they ever kiss, etc... but still. I work so frickin hard to keep my kids healthy, keep them alive, etc. We've been through the NICU, ER visits, all sorts of trials and scares... and then a distant relative gives them something that they will have the rest of their lives.

RANT RANT RANT!

But, I'm trying to keep some perspective here. No one's dying here, we're all relatively healthy and happy, we have jobs, a roof over our head (albeit tiny).

*Breathe*

 

ugh!!!! I'm so sorry!!!

was she kissing the boys on their lips? I saw my mil doing that and put a stop to it, just gently explained that we don't share germs (whether the person is well or sick) etc. she took it pretty well. of course that doesn't even get into the point about your relative that had the cold sore - what do people think??

anyway, even for my dh and I we don't kiss the kids on the lips... I'd rather get a cheek kiss anyway, and also figured that if we didn't start kissing on their lips then they would learn to give their cheek for a kiss or kiss other people on their cheek...

again, so sorry for the cold sore!!!

 

omg how ignorant!!!! I would be super mad too!!!!!! I am so sorry this happened hopefully they won't end up with it.

 

Thanks all.

Unfortunately, at least one of them has now caught it. This morning one of them had a cold sore. UGH.

 

OOH I WOULD OF FREAKED OUT!!! You have every right to be upset :grr: My mom gets them and she knows better to even kiss them on the cheek but then again I dont let ANYONE kiss my kids on the lips for that reason plus just the fear of passing cold/flu.

 

I would have totally lost it too! Maybe she needs some education!?! Why can't we all just have a 'Dear Abby" angel that appears in moments just like this?

Well, I'm not sure my follow-up would be considered polite at all... but I would make sure to give her a "heads-up". If I were in your situation I'd find some information about cold sores that you could send her (maybe ask the nurse at the Peds office) and then write her a note explaining the consequences to her actions, that this is now something your son will have to live with his whole life, that you've had to educate your family, and you'd like to share that info with her ;-) I guess the way I see it is that this would give me some closure and would also serve as a way to educate the SIL.

Sure she may never talk to you again... but then she also won't be kissing anyone else in your family on the lips!

Oh... and save a copy of the note/info for MIL. Have Hubby share with her that you're sending/sent the note to SIL and stress the importance that it is a medical issue that will now live with your Son his whole life. If she chooses not to respond agreeably to hubby then I wouldn't get too stressed about it as she obviously doesn't have a lot of care or respect for your family.

 

I don't blame you at all. :gah: I would be pissed too. I'm sorry one of them now has a cold sore. I get them and don't kiss ANYONE while I have it because I know it's contagious and I know how annoying and painful they can be. :hug: :hug: :hug: Plus it should be a general rule no kissing ON THE LIPS... unless it's mommy and daddy. That's been our rule all along.

 

I can understand why you are upset :hug: My DH gets frequent mouth sores and still feels funny kissing the kids on the lips, so he kisses them on the cheeks. I am sorry that you will have to deal with mouth sores :hug:

 

I'd be mad too! People just don't think sometimes and it is so annoying. I'm sorry that happened to your lo!

 

I would have freaked out as well. Did she not have any children? I'm sorry one of your boys now has a cold sore.
Does that mean he will get them the rest of his life now? I would be ticked off.

 

I'd be really mad, but that is only because I'm a germaphobe and little ones CAN get really sick (not life threatening, but miserable for up to three weeks with sores in the mouth, etc.) when they first get infected. Se here:

http://www.nlm.nih.g...icle/001052.htm



Here is a nasty picture on how bad it can get in the mouth for little ones:

http://www.brown.edu...idemiology.html



As far as him having oral herpes- most people have it so I'd be less mad at that, but more mad that she had such disregard for it. Most people are ignorant as to how severe a first infection can be.



She may be ignorant as to how the virus spreads, still, I'd be mad.



I wouldn't do anything about it now, though, what is past is past and most people don't understand and get it. Trying to educate her after the fact won't do anything except make everyone mad.



However, what I would do is right before the next time they visit, say in passing (without making a big deal) something about you not wanting people to be around the kids, kissing them, etc. if they are sick at all or have any contagious sores, etc., as although most of the time these things are relatively harmless sometimes serious or acute infections can result from otherwise mild things, you don't want to risk it. You can even say you realize other people might not share your viewpoint on this, but because of what you went through with them you are acutely aware of such negative possibilities, so you would appreciate it if people would respect your wishes and be aware of them whether or not they share your opinion.

FYI, most (not all, like oral herpes) things spread through our hands. they are more likely to get sick if hands aren't scrubbed well.... unfortunately this is a battle lost in itself.

 

Seriously, I commend you for being so civilized about it all.

If it for me, I might have had to be restrained from strangling that lady. Total ignorance on her part for sure. She should be ashamed of herself!

I mean, come on, isn't it common knowledge that you should kiss babies/toddlers only on the feet/toes?

 

I'm sorry. I would be so angry & upset.