Am i wrong for feeling like like this

My boys are a little over 2 years old and i like being with them everyday, but the time has come that i need to get a part time job so that i can bring in a little extra money. The problem that i have is that there have been times that i have left him with the kids when they were all sleeping <he works nights>. i have come home and he is passed out and they are in their room screaming cuz they are hungry or need to be changed. This has happened a few times and it concerns me that this will happen. my husband will be rested cuz he will be sleeping before i have to go in and all he will have to do is feed them dinner and get them ready for bed.

I know he loves them and will do anything for him but the past is in my head and im worried.. has anyone else felt like this?

 

You are not alone. For me, every other week, I have scheduled an hour or two of "Mommy time", where I go out and get my nails or hair done. And everytime, I have to ask his sister or my mother to help him out during this time. It's not that I don't trust him, I know that he would only play with them and not keep them on their schedule, such as feed them a snack, change them, or put them down to sleep.

Possibly, is there a trusted family member that can help him put the boys to bed or at least help feed them?

 

I don't think that you are wrong for feeling this way and it is better that know what your DH is capable of. As far as my DH has come since the girls were born, and he has come really far in terms of taking care of them. I still know that he is only good for about an hour, 2 if part of the time they are napping.

Some people out there are probably very lucky to have DH's that are great with the kids and taking care of them. I am not one of them. You may need to look into having someone else come and help your DH.

 

Getting a part time job really helped me. I was so happy to be around adult conversation! Then only 9 months after working I got pregnant! So I have been back at home with them, and although I really love every minute with them, I do miss and crave the adult interaction I was having.

 

our families are a lost cause in the issue... I will have to deal with calling him and making sure he feeds them and changes them... sticking to their schedule he is good at so we will see... thanks all this makes my mind a little settled...

 

I'm teaching 3 evenings a week in the Fall, so DH will be with the girls. He'll have to get them up from naps, play with them until dinner, feed them, and get them to bed. He's good with them, but we vary in our definitions of "watching" them. Ex 1: HE was with all 3 girls in the basement the other night while I napped. I went down later and found one moldy sippy cup of whatever, a cassette tape mostly unraveled, and food all over the floor. While watching them, he was playing video games. He also didn't feed them dinner, so we all ate when I got up at 8Pm. Ex.2: A few months ago his mom was over with our niece and nephew while I was out somewhere. I came home and the next morning I looked for my toaster tongs. He said Travis (then just over a year) had them. DUH! Take them away! And how did he get them off the counter??

I will be preparing dinner, likely a casserole or something, before I leave so he can just pop it in the oven. Otherwise they will all live on hot dogs 3 nights a week. Probably bath time will be Monday and Friday nights. He can't seem to bathe them all alone. I've done it a number of times.

I know he can handle it...he'll have too. He will also have to learn to be patient and not get so frustrated at Jo and Ellie who can't always make their needs known.

I can't wait to have the best of both worlds...home during the day with the girls and some evenings out teaching and interacting aduts!

Our DH's will step up and do great!!

 

I hear ya. My DH is good at playing with them. However, he can sleep through them screaming as well and I worry about leaving them with him when they're sleeping because he doesn't think it's any big deal to "let them cry for a while". He also "forgets" to feed and change them... And then he complains because I don't trust him enough to leave the boys with him for more than a couple of hours.

If it's truly just about not hearing them, he could use a monitor and turn the volume up.

 

:hug99: Very normal feelings.