Am I the only one that doesn't get breaks thru the day?? My girls will be 11 months old in 3 days. Kiersten still takes 2 naps. One in the morning and one late afternoon. Caitlynn on the other hand has boycotted naps all together. I just feel like I am going to lose my mind here. DH works 2nd shift so he is gone from 1:30 til 11:30 every day Mon-Fri.. I feel like I am drowning here. Sometimes Caitlynn will nap, but she only gets tired and ready to sleep when Kiersten is getting up!! I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty about this. I should be enjoying my children, but I find myself crying and just wishing for one day of me myself time. The other thing is Caitlynn will cry all day for no reason. I can be not even 2 feet away from her and she goes nuts. I am right there with her! When she starts in then Kiersten follows in sync with her sister. I feel like I can't even go to the bathroom cause I just don't wanna hear her cry. Really her crying is like nails going down a chalk board!! Sorry if I sound bitter. I do love my babies. To me it is just too much for one person. Am I wrong in feeling the way I do, and if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it. If there are other mommas going thru the same thing please let me know what your doing, and if it is working for you! Thanks for letting me vent. I know I don't post often, but I know your always here when I need you girls. Thanks again!!
QUOTE(Spindaisy @ Nov 10 2008, 05:58 PM) [snapback]1064902[/snapback] Am I the only one that doesn't get breaks thru the day?? My girls will be 11 months old in 3 days. Kiersten still takes 2 naps. One in the morning and one late afternoon. Caitlynn on the other hand has boycotted naps all together. I just feel like I am going to lose my mind here. DH works 2nd shift so he is gone from 1:30 til 11:30 every day Mon-Fri.. I feel like I am drowning here. Sometimes Caitlynn will nap, but she only gets tired and ready to sleep when Kiersten is getting up!! I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty about this. I should be enjoying my children, but I find myself crying and just wishing for one day of me myself time. The other thing is Caitlynn will cry all day for no reason. I can be not even 2 feet away from her and she goes nuts. I am right there with her! When she starts in then Kiersten follows in sync with her sister. I feel like I can't even go to the bathroom cause I just don't wanna hear her cry. Really her crying is like nails going down a chalk board!! Sorry if I sound bitter. I do love my babies. To me it is just too much for one person. Am I wrong in feeling the way I do, and if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it. If there are other mommas going thru the same thing please let me know what your doing, and if it is working for you! Thanks for letting me vent. I know I don't post often, but I know your always here when I need you girls. Thanks again!! Guess I am the only one...18 views and no kind words or any advice...Thank you.
:hug: :hug: :hug: Mine are much younger so it doesn't compare, but they do what I call tag team napping all day...drives me nuts! DD will wake up, eat, play a bit, eat a little more an take a good nap. DS is another story...he'll do the same thing as DD up until the nap part...then he wants to be walked around or he squeels, usually until just before his sister wakes up. It throws off the whole schedule so all day we're all over the place with naps and usually at least one of them is up all afternoon. Hope it gets better for you soon!
hardly any breaks here either. their naps overlap always, so i get 15min max 2x a day. i sooo look forward to bedtime!!
It will get better, have you considered putting your "non-napper" in a PnP with some toys for a "quiet time"? If only for 30 minutes at least you could sit down for awhile without them climbing all over you.
Mine are younger, but today (in a good day) I found that they slept better when I put them on the pack n play where I was with the radio on...rather than in their cribs...my daughter, surprisingly, just lay there and talked to herself
Are there any friends or family near by you that can come over and give you a break? I am sorry that you are going through this, I can see why you are ready to yank your hair out. How about when your DH has off, is it possible during one of his off days that you can take and "you" day? I wish I had more advice :grouphug:
I have one catnapper and one who loves her sleep. The problem is they are, in no way shape or form, on the same schedule. Throw my two year old into the mix and it's non stop throughout the day. I make sure we go somewhere every day. Airing eveyone out really helps. I take all three to the mall, grocery shopping, story hour, music class, and a toddler tune-up class. Getting out really,really helps. Anyhow -- I know exactly how you feel! Hang in there....
:hug: Heather. It okay for how you are feeling. No breaks will do that to you. Have you tried putting Caitlynn down for a nap earlier? Say about 2 hours after she gets up in the morning. At that age we were doing naps at about 9am and 1pm. The morning nap was an issue for about 2 weeks around 10 months as they would rather recite War and Peace in their cribs to each other instead of sleeping. I stayed consistent with getting them to their naps and they worked it out eventually. Sometimes for the morning nap, I would throw them in the car and let them sleep in their carseats while I drove around and drank some Starbucks and listened to the radio. That really helped me just to have a change of scenery. Also how about some white noise in the bedroom?? Is the room dark enough? And ditto to a PP about getting some friends or family over to give you a break. Just some random thoughts.
:hug: Only time my boys sleep at the same time is at night. I learned to take a shower with one in the walker in the bathroom with me while the other naps. They may not nap, but how about putting them down for a rest time while you sit down and relax for a few. Maybe they will doze off.
I am sorry you are having a hard time - twins are so hard! Especially when they aren't sleeping (naps and/or nighttime). I put mine on a napping schedule, at 9am I put them down for 1.5hr nap (sometimes they sleep, sometimes they don't), but regardless I get time to shower, eat etc. I also put them down for a nap at 1pm and do the same thing - 1.5hrs. They don't always nap - but like I said it gives me time to myself. I just make sure I don't sit by the door to listen to the fussing. do you have friends or family that can come help out for a few hours a week, can you hire someone to give you a break? what about DH - can he take the kids for an hour or two before he goes to work to give you a break?
Ok, I totally know how you feel! My guys just turned one but I was right where you are a few weeks ago. My one guy Jack is a horrible napper and usually whines a lot through the day. He was going thorugh a 20 min nap a day phase and it was KILLING me! I seriously had no break and felt like I was going to loose it. I really don't have any advice for you but I can relate/sympathize with you. I've been there. A lot. Naps are a little better here these days but the whining is still there more then I'd like. I'm hoping it gets better maybe when they are walking. Anyway, I know how you are feeling and it's so hard and frustrating! Hang in there.
QUOTE(Hananielsgirl @ Nov 10 2008, 07:50 PM) [snapback]1065036[/snapback] It will get better, have you considered putting your "non-napper" in a PnP with some toys for a "quiet time"? If only for 30 minutes at least you could sit down for awhile without them climbing all over you. I have tried this and she is okay for like 10 mins. then she stands up and cries for me.
QUOTE(DATJMom @ Nov 10 2008, 09:32 PM) [snapback]1065228[/snapback] :hug: Heather. It okay for how you are feeling. No breaks will do that to you. Have you tried putting Caitlynn down for a nap earlier? Say about 2 hours after she gets up in the morning. At that age we were doing naps at about 9am and 1pm. The morning nap was an issue for about 2 weeks around 10 months as they would rather recite War and Peace in their cribs to each other instead of sleeping. I stayed consistent with getting them to their naps and they worked it out eventually. Sometimes for the morning nap, I would throw them in the car and let them sleep in their carseats while I drove around and drank some Starbucks and listened to the radio. That really helped me just to have a change of scenery. Also how about some white noise in the bedroom?? Is the room dark enough? And ditto to a PP about getting some friends or family over to give you a break. Just some random thoughts. Caitlynn will lay in there and cry/scream the whole nap time. I have tried the CIO and I just can not do it. They do have white noise in their room and it is pitch black in there. I have no friends and family here. All my friends and family are 2 hours away from me. Thank you for the ideas. I am feeling a little better now. I will try the driving around and see how that goes. Thanks again!!
QUOTE(isis @ Nov 10 2008, 09:44 PM) [snapback]1065245[/snapback] I am sorry you are having a hard time - twins are so hard! Especially when they aren't sleeping (naps and/or nighttime). I put mine on a napping schedule, at 9am I put them down for 1.5hr nap (sometimes they sleep, sometimes they don't), but regardless I get time to shower, eat etc. I also put them down for a nap at 1pm and do the same thing - 1.5hrs. They don't always nap - but like I said it gives me time to myself. I just make sure I don't sit by the door to listen to the fussing. do you have friends or family that can come help out for a few hours a week, can you hire someone to give you a break? what about DH - can he take the kids for an hour or two before he goes to work to give you a break? DH came home early tonight from work so we could talk. I told him I needed more "ME" time and he is going to try to help out more. I sure hope he does! Thank you for your advice.
QUOTE(melissak @ Nov 10 2008, 10:47 PM) [snapback]1065361[/snapback] Ok, I totally know how you feel! My guys just turned one but I was right where you are a few weeks ago. My one guy Jack is a horrible napper and usually whines a lot through the day. He was going thorugh a 20 min nap a day phase and it was KILLING me! I seriously had no break and felt like I was going to loose it. I really don't have any advice for you but I can relate/sympathize with you. I've been there. A lot. Naps are a little better here these days but the whining is still there more then I'd like. I'm hoping it gets better maybe when they are walking. Anyway, I know how you are feeling and it's so hard and frustrating! Hang in there. I am so glad I am not going crazy! I really thought I was the only one having trouble with my 11 month old with an attitude. LOL I really hope it does get better soon!! Caitlynn has been taking steps and maybe she is just frustrated that she can't walk yet?? I don't know. Thank you for your advice!!
Jordyn takes her long nap in the morning and Kalia takes her long nap in the afternoon. I get about 30 mins to myself in the morning and maybe an hour in the afternoon. You are most definitely NOT the only one. (((HUGS))) to you. We know what it's like.
It is crazy when you don't get any breaks. Overwhelming. I always 'fudge' their nap times so they sleep at the same time or at least with only 20-30 mins difference. Elliot went through a phase of napping for 20 mins although they are both doing well now (not that you want to hear that!) but the point is it will get better - and you know if they cry in their cribs for 20 mins so you can have a coffee without them then it wont hurt them and it will keep you sane. If it all turns to crap then into the car for a drive round!! Or a walk )dont know what your weather is like). Hope you are feeling more positive. Hugs.
I didn't have a chance to read the replies, but I want to respond. My twins are now 4 years old and I have an 11 month old singleton. Do you get out of the house everyday? I think this is so impotnant! I really go stir crazy if I don't get out. WHne the twins were babies, I used to pack my lunch and drive until they fell asleep. THen I would eat my lunch and read a magaizine (in peace!) and would drive home when they woke up. Can you make plans with a friend/ join a moms group? Go to the children's room in the library, take them to a coffee shop and have a snack, children's museaum, park, mall, baby music class...ANYTHING to brake up the day. Can you try taking a nap with them (you get rest, too!). I know how you feel. I never had any help with my twins and I was alone all of the time. MY girls cried more than any babies I had ever met. I was mind boggling! Can you think about having a teenage come over after school to play wiht the girls for a little shile, just to have a break? The other thing that I would do when I was feeling overwhelemed was put everyone on a strict schedule. I would litterall schedule my whole day in 1/2 time slots, just to get through til bedtime. For example, 1-1:30, play time on floor. 1:30-2:00, snack, play with tupperware on kitchen floor, 2:00-2;30 walk in stroller, etc. What time does DH leave for work? Can he get ready early and give you an hour to yoursle beofre he leaves. Mayne he could feed them lunch for you before he goes. Good luck! The crying was the by far the hardest part for me!
:grouphug: My kids go through phases with their naps. Teething has been a frustrating one--in the last few days, they've doubled the number of teeth that they had before. I could never CIO, either. And the separation anxiety--whew, I honestly thought we were going to skip that phase, but it's kicked in the past few weeks. Could you go to another room, just talking to her as you go, and come back when she gets upset? It doesn't always work with our kids, but that at least lets them know that mommy is still around, even if she's not right there with them at the moment. Driving sounds like a really good idea--especially if they'll stay asleep. Maybe you can even work in some "me" time with that, drive through a coffee place and read a book, something that relaxes you. Definitely second the getting your DH to help you. Maybe you can even leave them with him on a Saturday morning, and just get some time alone. I always feeling like I'm going a little nutty when ours tag-team. I feel like I can deal with two, as long as I get some time dealing with none. When it's one baby, two babies, one baby, two babies all day long, I feel a little :umm:
Some days our kiddos have been on completely opposite schedules to the point where I didn't even manage to get a shower in. And once separation anxiety really kicked in full force to the point where not only was I "on duty" all day, I also had to be within touching range or one or both of them bonkers it got really hard. At some point you just have to go. What amazed me the most is that when they were safely playing somehwere and I left with both of them standing at the gate screaming bloody murder and fully expecting them to be just like that when I got back, they weren't. They were back across the room playing, and talking to one another just like nothing happened. For my sanity when we have long days where I am the only one there to take care of them 24/7 (like when my husband is traveling on business) I make it a point to get out of the house. It's a nice break for everyone. I get peace while we drive to our destination, and they really enjoy getting out and tend to be on their best behavior when we are out. So, by the time we get back home I am not quite so overwhelmed, they have normally napped in the car, and we all feel a little better. And some days multiple outings are called for... And when my husband gets back he gets baby duty while mommy gets a break. Sometimes it is just for an hour or two, sometimes it is a whole morning or afternoon. During that time I relax, take care of me, and do things that I really enjoy like reading a book, taking a nice long soak in the tub, laying in my hammock. Everyone needs "you" time. And when you are done you will be so excited to see them again, and be ready to tackle another day.
