I love this site, but reading all of the amazing stories of the supermoms who have their twins on a regular schedule is giving me anxiety...and making me think that I'm doing it all wrong! My girls are almost 10 weeks. We don't have a set bedtime....but that's because DH and I do things together in the evenings. Sometimes it's a dance or a dance lesson, sometimes it's errands, sometimes it's dinner out. They don't get a bath every night...and when they do, it's not at the same time every day because it happens around our schedule. I do try to make sure their first feeding is between 7/8am and the last one is between 11pm/12am and then they get up once in the middle of the night...usually around 4am. The rest of the day, they eat every 3.5-4 hours. But that's the extent of their schedule. The girls were born at 36 weeks and have been growing like crazy every since. We were able to move them into their cribs upstairs when they got too heavy for the PNP bassinett downstairs with no issues. I can put both girls down wide awake in their cribs and without a paci and they just fall asleep on their own with no crying. They are healthy and seem like happy girls. Of course we have times of fussiness, but those are usually easily cured. Of course I would like to eliminate the middle of the night feeding, but I wasn't expecting that to happen for at least another month or so. My feeling is that these are the only babies I will ever have...so getting up with them for these first few months doesn't seem like such a big deal when I know that I will never have to do it again. I didn't mean to make this so long....it's just that DH and I have incorporated the girls around our lives and want to include them in the things we love to do. Is this wrong? Should we be home every night at 7? Should I be trying to establish a better scheule for them? If I don't, will they never sleep through the night? Am I somehow damaging them for life?!
We don't have any schedule at 10 months but we follow their indications. We have older children and because I am usually the one to take them to Karate/Swimming/Summer camp, we all are dictated by the activity schedule. Its just VERY important to watch the babies for their cues as it is easy to miss when the babies are out. Once you miss a cue, you will pay the price when they are overtired! Boy do I know that, we had that issue this past weekend.
I don't think it's wrong, it's just not me, but I have 3 kids and I stay sane because of my schedule. Also, I think once they'll get older, you notice they'll need more routine. They won't continue to fall asleep whenever and wherever it's convenient for the parents. They'll start fighting it. I personally believe (and experienced) that children who are well rested sleep and behave better. So if you start noticing they're crabby at the end of the day, they have trouble falling asleep in the evening, start to wake up more frequently during the night (or continue to wake up for night feedings once they grow older) I think you may need to start looking at a (loose) schedule / routine. Also, if I want to meet up with friends and/or go to classes with my kids, I need my schedule, because all other kids nap around the times too. Otherwise my kids will be sleeping when others don't and the other way around. I want my kids to enjoy classes, other kids (and I can talk to other moms) and most of the time these things are scheduled between most common nap times. Again, I think you may be fine now, just keep an eye on it when they get older and be prepared to change whenever they need it. They're still young. Enjoy!!!
It's not wrong. Do what you want. They are your kids. I happen to like a schedule, but that's me. My friend doesn't like to have a schedule, so she doesn't. Her kids are happy.
I think it's easier to "go with the flow" when you have angel babies! Sounds like you're doing exactly what works for you. A routine works for me, but we're all different, aren't we? You know your babies best and what works for them.
10 weeks is early to worry about schedules. You might never feel the need and you might! I found that it saved my life to have them (after 4mos. old) on the same schedule so that I had down time. It made it easy to shower etc. because they were both sleeping at the same time. If you have them on alternating schedules then you have baby up all the time and you might get frustrated by this at some point. You might NOT! Only you know what will work for your family!! :hug99:
I didn't start working on a schedule until about 4 months. It has been a life saver for me, I love having a little down time since they both nap at the same time and go to bed at night at the same time. It's also helped me plan outings - I know when to schedule something because I know when the naps are. But if it's not for you, don't do it! Just do what works!
I was desperate to get mine on some kind of a schedule, but that was mostly for me (I am a creature of routine and I hate chaos -- needless to say, the first few months were hard for me!). It does sound like you have angel babies and things are going fine. As PPs have said, just be aware that when they're a bit older (6-7 months or so), they might start to have a preference for a routine. But if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
QUOTE I don't think it's wrong, it's just not me, but I have 3 kids and I stay sane because of my schedule. That is also my reason for staying on a schedule. We have lots of sports/activities to think about for the older kids, so knowing "what comes next" so to speak, helps me stay sane! Do what works!
We have a loose schedule here too. For the most part their routine is the same every day because we are home, but they adapt to change well. But we didn't have a predictable schedule until they were 5 months old. I'm just not big into "same time, same place". ardon: Whatever you're doing works for you! No need to change what isn't broken!
I too have a schedule of sorts so that I get some down time...but they are also flexible and don't melt down as easily if dinner is a half hour later or naptime is in the car on the way somewhere....however if they don't get their morning nap they are VERY cranky in the afternoon so morning nap is really the gold standard and that generally happens by 11 am
I think you should do whatever works for you. We started a schedule at 3 months and it has been a lifesaver for us. The main reason I felt we needed one is because we both work full time and we needed to make sure everything gets done. If you are ok with going with the flow and your babies do well with it, go for it. That is the awesome thing about being a mom, you get to make the rules.
QUOTE I do try to make sure their first feeding is between 7/8am and the last one is between 11pm/12am and then they get up once in the middle of the night...usually around 4am. The rest of the day, they eat every 3.5-4 hours. But that's the extent of their schedule. I went by a routine similar to this one. It worked great for us. I didn't really have a set schedule, until we added solids at 4 months, and then I tried to do things at the same time each day, that way *they* would know what to expect. I think it was better for them as well.
Like a PP, we both work full time so I had to have a schedule. It works wonderful for us but it's not for everyone! You know what's best for your family!
ditto the other girls you know what is best for you and DH. I can say that mine are 3.5 months and have somewhat of a bed time routine and each one are getting a daytime routine but they are flexible. I too work full time and like the structure of what we have started. I am all about planning so i know that by the time they are 6 months we will have a routine. I like you have not fretted yet about a routine i feel they have chose their own routine and we have fallen into place nicely. My babies are very good too so i am just going with the flow. Kids do love structure so i am sure that you will have them fall into what works best for your family too. It amazes me how they sorta started their own routine.
No, you are NOT the only one. Mine are 3 1/2 months old, and i don't stress a schedule too much. I am not a plan-oriented, routine kind of gal. We are naturally getting into a groove, but it's nothing I have dictated. I'm just taking it as it comes. I read people's posts and wonder the same thing as you! Reyna
Nope, you aren't the only one!! I am NOT a schedule person. We do have somewhat of a "loose schedule" of sorts, but that didn't happen until a few months ago. I did things by their cues and then sorta went from there.
I did not have any sort of schedule until we started solids at 5-6 months. I decided that I was not going to feed them solids meals at different times, so I had to get their sleeping and eating synched up a little better. Before that, I just usually let them fall asleep whenever in the evening, wake up whenever. I did kind of let them decide on their own bed/wake time, which turned out to be 5:30am/5:30pm for the longest time. By 12 months, I was much more scheduled. I'm back to being less strict as they don't always nap, so I don't feel the big need to schedule everything around their naps anymore. Really, just do whatever works for you.
QUOTE(AmynTony @ Aug 7 2007, 11:41 AM) [snapback]361061[/snapback] I too have a schedule of sorts so that I get some down time... This was my main reason for a schedule.. down time! I, by nature, am a schedule kind of person. I like to know what comes next and my days are pretty much spent at home (besides trips to Target! ) So a schedule was okay for our family. Also it seemed to cut down on the fussies. But I don't think what you are doing is wrong by any means. You know how your family works and what it needs. As long as they are loved ( and fed ) you can't do anything wrong. Plus at that age, they weren't on any kind of schedule, not until 5ish months or so! Good Luck!
Like others have said, everyone likes something different and every baby likes something different. Thus there is a huge difference on what works best for each household. I wouldn't stress it if it is working for you. I am one of those who runs down the middle. I use a loose schedule. I think routine helps my kids/babies to be better prepared for what is coming through the day and gives me a little sanity. Also an established routine of some kind is good for when you go on vacation or something unusual happens that could be destressing for the family. A set routine can ease many insecurities especially in small children and infants. On the other hand a too rigid schedule can have just the opposite effect and create kids who can't adjust to situations outside of their established environments. If they have to be in their own beds every day at 6:30p with their bunny PJs and a bottle/sippy with Elmo on it, you will have a problem if you are forced to alter this routine for whatever reason.
I think all moms are different, all babies have unique temperaments...some people do better with schedules and some just can't adhere to them. I would LOVE to be on a schedule but it almost like a sitcom over here. About every other day some 'crisis' occurs...like yesterday we had a little flooding in our basement. When I make plans something inevitably happens to screw them up so I just try to go with the flow. I do not think there's a right way or a wrong way to raise baby twins. As long as they are loved, fed, diapered and well attended to we all have our differences.
At 10 weeks, we definitely did not have a schedule. We were working towards it but most of the time, we were just keeping our head above water with the twins. So, don't worry about it. As long as they are happy, healthy, eating and sleeping, then you are doing a great job. :hug99:
At 7 1/2 months...we still really just have a routine of sorts ^_^ and that seems to change everyother week. I'm totally not a schedule person (I use up what little patience I have with strict routine/timing at work, I'm a nurse!) I really just go by the girls cues and like I said, we have a general routine, but if something comes up and things change...no biggie!
I just went with the flow and followed the babies' cues for the first months. I don't think it was until about 5 months when I started trying to get a bedtime schedule down. Then a few months later we fell into a feeding schedule, but the boys sort of set this up. Now at 10 months I am thinking it is time to set a nap schedule. They sort of have one, but I am ready for it to be more regular. I am not a "schedule" person for the most part, but with these guys I have found it easier the older they get to have some more structure. Sounds like you are doing just fine! Congrats on such happy babies and on incorporating them into your life so much.
Oh my, My girls had no semblance of a schedule until very recently; and that really gets thrown off my the slightest thing. Especially with twins, I think you have to relax about the whole schedule thing and just know that you may not get there for months!
