Am I the only one?

While I was reading the EXCUSE ME thread, it seemed there were some that expressed they wanted another baby. I have absolutely no desire what so ever to have another baby. Am I the only one??

 

For me it depends on the day. I'm 99.999999999% sure we are done having children, but something prevents me from releasing our frozen embryos just in case. I love how my kids are now KIDS, and how entertaining they are, and how things are so much easier now. But every once in awhile I get a pang. I wish I could experience a normal pregnancy, I wish I could go back to those baby days and really enjoy that crazy life-alterating time. But there are no guarentees and I am happy with our family.

 

I am right there with you. I do not want any other kids and am very happy and content with my family as it stands.

 

I usually have no interest either. Strangely on my anniversary, I felt like it would be interesting to meet one more child of mine. :crazy: I know I am nutso :crazy: I totally don't want more children. :nea:

 

No desire for another baby here.

Also, while it sometimes feels bittersweet that they're growing so fast, on the whole I'm pretty happy to see them getting older. I don't think I've ever actually wished for time to slow down -- at least not for more than a second. :laughing:

 

I don't want to have any more kids EVER. I'm already overwhelmed with "just" two. There's never enough time for me to pursue all my interests and have downtime too. I have zero interest in adding another baby to the mix. You are not alone!

 

what she said! Tony's V surgery is scheduled for 8/26 and I'm STILL vacillating about him having the surgery...some days I really really want a singleton, and some days I'm content with these 2 little people that are out of diapers, eat regular food and sleep all night long!

 

Me! A&R are plenty of children for me.

 

Nope - no desire at all to have another child. I love the dynamic we have with just four of us and wouldn't want to upset that nice balance. Besides, I already have no free time whatsoever... I can't even imagine how tired I'd be with a new baby.

 

I am 100% completely done! I even held someone else's baby the other day for a bit & was more than happy to hand her back to her Daddy. I am so, so done and completely happy with my family the way it is right now.

 

I feel very similar to this. I had 2 frozen embryos from our IVF cycle, and I used them last summer to try to get pg. It didn't work, and since then, I have felt about 95% certain our family is complete. I have an IUD, and the plan is to have DH get the big V in 4 years when my IUD has to come out. As my kids get older and turn into funny little people, I feel less nostalgic about those crazy baby days. I enjoy my sleep, thank you very much!

ETA: After a lot of introspection after our failed FET, I realized that a lot of my desire for another baby was to help erase the trauma of my twin pg and the medical complications during the birth and after. With my medical condition, I can't have a normal pg. I"ll always be high risk. And with my infertility and miscarriage history, I am likely to need fertility treatments to get pg. I just have no desire to go back to all that.

 

For the first 2 years, I said was 100% sure we were DONE!!!

Aside from not having any snow babies, this is exactly me lately. I know we won't have anymore though.

 

I would have loved to have another child. I love watching the kids grow up and learn new things, but I wasn't ready to say I was done. I was advised that another pregnancy wouldn't be safe for me and/or the baby, so it wasn't really my decision. That's probably why I still have the baby wanting pangs now and then and get a tremendous sadness about it.

 

Ditto. The 3's are killing me! If I could somehow guarantee it would be a girl and only one...maybe. The boys are about to start preschool and once we get through the rough 3's maybe we can start traveling some...would be hard to with another baby. I would totally love to experience a singleton pregnancy though. It was soo chaotic with newborn twins and moving to a different state. Now that we're settled and we kind of have a clue about babies I know it would be easier. Door is not completely closed, but almost positive we're not going back.

 

This is me as well. I could be perfectly content with the family we have now. The twins definately keep us busy! BUT...there are days I think about our frozen embryos and that we should do something with them. I know the chances are lower with a frozen cycle and if it didn't result in a pregnancy I could continue on the rest of my life very happy with the two I already have.

 

Amen! Right on! Thanks for this thread!

I totally agree with wanting NO MORE KIDS!

Two is plenty enough. Really.

This might bite me in the butt if I end up having more kids someday...but it seems that large families are being greedy by using up a tremendous amount of the world's resources. Overpopulation growth, anyone? Additionally, I've found that many people think that they are "better" and/or more "righteous" and/or "have it harder than you, hence a better parent" than you if they have had more pregnancies and more kids.

I'm irritated with the media in glamorizing large families, and especially families with higher-order multiples. There is nothing, nothing, nothing glamorous about large families, in my opinion. Both of my parents are from exceptionally large families (my mom is #6 in a family of ten kids), and there was always a shortage of funds, time, attention, and everything else. There are only 24 hours in a day, and if anyone thinks anyone can give 10 kids as much attention as you can give 2 kids, you are totally crazy! Also, in larger families, the older kids take up too much responsibility at such a young age -- they end up having to be a "parent" to the younger kids. This is so unfair to me.

Also, I'm annoyed with people who expect that if you have kids of only one gender, then you automatically have to have more just so that you can fill that void. "You need a boy now" if you have girls, or "You need a girl now" if you have boys. It is sick.

I'm sure you all have seen the movie, Idiocracy. If not, it's a film that pokes fun about the (lack of) reproductive sensibilities of those with low IQ. In a nutshell, the movie makes a (funny) point that the dumber you are, the more kids you are likely to have.

Side note: has anyone ever read about the studies that show there is an inverse correlation with education and the # of kids you have? The more education one has, the less children you tend to have. For instance, a highschool dropout will statistically have many more kids in comparison with a PhD graduate. I'm sure it has to do with waiting longer in life to have kids, and as you get older, reproductive capabilities are diminished -- still, it is interesting that the lesser educated will populate the Earth.

Thanks for letting me vent -- excuse me while I continue to PMS ;-)

 

We're done also. Now that we can actually start to do things all together without it being a huge chore, I can't imagine going back to waking up every 3 hours at night and dealing with bottles again... no thanks. Of course it's probably because we had twins, but I hated the first year and really don't want to go through that again. Plus it's hard enough to take those two out on my own, with another I'd just be stuck home all the time... I want to be able to afford vacations from time to time, buy them organic fruit and save a bit for college. Heck, I want to spoil them a little too. I have no desire to count pennies and buy cheap junk food just to feed my family (and no I can't take the time to cook everything from scratch, even now I couldn't, I can't imagine what it would be like with more kids). I want to be able to buy myself a book or a cd if I want to. I'd like to be able to work when the kids go to school without having to spend all my money in daycare.

But I want to be able to spend some time to know my kids too. I only had one (twin) sister and an older brother and one of us was always left out. I don't think my parents ever took the time to know me. I don't believe that parents with a lot of kids spend enough time with each of them either. I agree with pp about large families... I can't imagine feeding my kids junk and leaving them to fend for themselves after high school just because *I* wanted another kid. Or even worse, ask my eldest to take care of the youngest. It's not their job.

*Maybe* if we had more money I'd consider it, but right now it wouldn't be fair to my kids. Especially as we'd have to do IVF or adopt again, and that it's too taxing financially, emotionally and time-wise.

 

Well twinfinite, just be sure not to join any of us in the triplets and large family forum!

 

:laughing:

I think it is interesting that anything over 2 kids is considered large by some!

 

We are definitely done here. While I'm not one who wants a large family, I am definitely envious of those who have the patience and care it takes to take care of large families. I have many friends, who are educated, that want large families, and have large families. So, although I am sure that education does play a major role in the amount of kids you have, I don't think large families necessarily add to the problems of our environment anymore than oil companies who can't take care of their messes.

 

I want to add that I LOVE having a large family, I love the noise, I love to watch my kids interacting with each other, I love that they are growing up with such a great support system, I love that all of their friends want to hang out at our house because there is always something fun going on, and I love that the older kids are so loving & attentive to the younger ones. My kids get tons of attention, the older kids aren't taking on too much responsibility (but they do get to learn responsibility at a young age, which I think of as a positive not a negative), we have no shortage of funds or time or anything else, and I would be willing to bet that the carbon footprint of my family is a lot smaller than that of a lot of families I know with only 2 kids. I am also not dumb. I have a University degree & I graduated with honors. So, for me I feel like the positives far outweigh any negatives of a large family!

 

WOW! I totally disagree! I have 4...twins then 2 years later a boy and 4.5 years later a girl. We are officially done...we have to be b/c of my medical issues. This last pregnancy (when I had Megan) was it...boy or girl. If she had been a he, well I would have been happy with 4 boys. We didn't "keep trying for our girl"...we just had one. Yah I am excited to have a girl now...but it wasn't out of desire to have a girl or any obligation to do so. And I really don't feel like just b/c I had 4 kids instead of 2 that I am being THAT much of a detriment to the Earth for using a few extra resources. Yah I use disposable diapers and drive a minivan...that is alot less damaging that other stuff going on in the world!!

As for those with 10 not being able to love thier kids or give as much attention as those with 2...I have an Aunt with 10 kids (age range: almost 2 to almost 20) and she loves them all dearly!! She gives them all the attention that they need...she home schools those that are school age, takes care of the younger ones, and keeps her house close to immaculate. I know other families with 8-12 kids and they also give thier kids all the attention they need. It is not fair to assume that just b/c someone has a lot of kids that they cannot take care of them or give them enough attention. You can't believe everything you see on TV (not that I have anything against those families either b/c I say...have as many as you want as long as you can afford to have them and can take care of them!).

 

Just wanted to clarify this statement....I think that educated people tend to think harder about the choices they make, whether it be to have a large family or a small family. If you go looking for a study to support your opinion, you will find it, but to put a blanket statement over all large families and say they are uneducated or didn't put some hard thought into the amount of kids they are going to have is just wrong.

 

We are 100% done and our family is complete. I am very happy with that decision, 3 is plenty.

 

This would be us also, minus the university degree! :laughing: I went through a lot to get my kids, years of fertility treatments and several miscarriages, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it because it led me to my amazing, beautiful, smart, talented "big" family! :wub:

 

I could not have said this better myself!!
I love my "large" family and wouldn't trade it for the world.
But to the OP, I am sooooooooo done :laughing: We were done after the twins but our little miracle baby had to join us and we are so happy to have him! But as I went to my very first OB appointment for him I immediately signed the papers to have my tubes tied.

 

Nope, no desire here. I went though a phase when they were about 6 months old, but that didn't last long. We had originally wanted two and we were blessed with three. We both feel we are done.

 

My husband and I agreed that two children would be enough for us and our decision was based largely on our finances at the time (plus, my husband thinks he's elderly or something...ha...ha... but he wanted to be done with kids by time he was 40 and we had the twinks when he was a month shy of turning 37)...but if our finances were better, I think we would have seriously considered adding 1 or 2 more to our brood. I do think about having another child from time to time but I am happy with my dynamic duo.
I just wanted to add that I am a product of a large family (youngest of 6) and I felt like there was plenty of love and attention to go around. I don't know how my mother did it, but she did and I give her and parents of large families a ton of props!

 

We would've been okay with one, but I'm glad (now) that we have two. TMI warning...Even though we tried for 5 yrs and ended up doing IVF and my husband had his big V last October...we still use protection! I'm too old, too tired and just thinking about the cost for their education is making me cry! :shok:

 

Ha! It seems I've stepped on some toes! I apologize. No one likes to have their way of life scrutinized.

However, just for clarification -- for me, personally, it is really mostly about a quality of life issue. Not just the quality of life for my own kids, and grandkids someday, but for everyone else's as well. The depletion of the limited amount of resources on this Earth is inevitable. The more that is used today will mean less for tomorrow and the days after.

By the way, I do think that being able to raise one good free-thinking kid, as opposed to 19 brainwashed automatons who believe that birth control is a sign of the impending apocalypse, is indeed more praiseworthy (I know you know the family of which I speak). Quality over quantity. Just sayin'.

My kids just recently turned two years old, and I cannot even marginally entertain the idea of having more. The noise decibel level is high enough 'round here.

And for those that were a part of a big family and didn't feel even slightly short-changed, I certainly commend your parents for a job well done.

 

Just a friendly reminder from your 2-4 mod team, Twinstuff is a diverse community with families of all types. While it is fine to state opinions, we need to make sure we are respectful of others when doing so. There is a link at the top of the page to the Twinstuff Terms of Service for anyone who is unsure of what is or is not allowed.

 

As of right now, we are done. There are some days I simply cannot imagine having a third. I have friends with 3 and 4 kids and I think it's great that that's what they want. Right now though, I'm just happy with our little family. Nothing to do with the environment, education, whatever. Sure, money is a part of the issue. There is no way we could afford child care for 3 kids. So IF we ever do decide to have more, the girls will at least be in school.

 

Done. We are done. I loved being pregnant and I loved having newborns, infants, babies, toddlers, etc. So, I'm sure I'll always get a pang here and there. But 3 are plenty for us! :wub:

 

There was an interesting Den thread not long ago about the environmental impact of having a large family, so anyone who's been there pls forgive me for paraphrasing...

IMO, there are all kinds of things we take for granted that leave an environmental footprint: air conditioning, long commutes, driving anything but a hybrid, driving when you could bike or walk, having a larger house than you need, buying more than you need, watering your lawn... Certainly, every person you choose to bring into the world will have their own environmental footprint, but just about everything else about our modern lifestyle does too, and unlike most of our other choices, having a child is a deep, lasting, soul-nourishing happiness.

Of course, strictly speaking, one very significant way of reducing your impact on the environment would be to forgo having a family at all, or to adopt existing children instead of creating new ones. But if you consider having at least some biological children acceptable, where do you draw the line? How many is "too many"? And if you start limiting, you run into all kinds of unintended social consequences (as in China's one-child policy).

Anyway, having a family is normal and good, and hopefully in this day and age everyone is learning more about how to take care of the planet.

 

well said Holly! :clapping: i'd give you ten points if i could.