am I spoiling my babies?

we try and put them in their crib during naps, but within about 20min they start to cry - is this normal for 6wks old? After several attempts to comfort and put them back in their cribs, we finallly cave in and pick them up and let them sleep on us or down in our kitchen/living room in their bouncy seats. Am I creating problems by doing this that might be hard to break down the road...need some support and ideas. By trying to get them to sleep in their cribs during the day, am I expecting too much?

Thanks for all your help

 

QUOTE(isis @ Mar 15 2008, 02:04 PM) [snapback]670508[/snapback]
we try and put them in their crib during naps, but within about 20min they start to cry - is this normal for 6wks old? After several attempts to comfort and put them back in their cribs, we finallly cave in and pick them up and let them sleep on us or down in our kitchen/living room in their bouncy seats. Am I creating problems by doing this that might be hard to break down the road...need some support and ideas. By trying to get them to sleep in their cribs during the day, am I expecting too much?

Thanks for all your help


Personally, I don't think you can spoil a child that young. Especially in the early months { and with twins!!} you do what you have to do to survive! If it means sleeping in bouncy seat, swing, on you, whereever! do it and do it proud! I didn't put my DS in his crib for naps until he was 3-4 months old, until then it was only the swing for him. My dd was a bouncy seat-aholic. She napped in that thing everyday until around 4 months old when we transitioned her to her crib. They both did fairly well transitioning. My advice to anyone is , do what you can to survive and hold your babies as much as you want and can, they grow up fast... you won't spoil them. :hug99:

 

Mine still don't nap in their cribs! If they do, its only a 1 hr nap vs. 3 hrs napping in their swing/bouncy.

 

I don't think you can spoil a child less than 6 months old. Most 6 week olds don't like sleeping in cribs because they are kind of hard and flat and they are used to squishy and cradled. My kids slept in their car seats, bouncy seats or swings until they were about 3 months old or so. I never really had any problems getting them to sleep in their cribs once they felt the need to stretch at night.

 

I agree you can not SPOIL..... When People tell me that my children are spoiled I just say no they are not they are just well LOVED... :wub: So I say hold them and enjoy it cause they won't always let you hold them.

 

As I am typing this, Emma is in a swing and Charlotte is in a bouncer...both fast asleep. The only time they're in their cribs is at night. They have much better naps out in the living room.

 

thanks for all your replies. i was just reaading the baby whisperer book and she totally discourages use of chairs, swings etc. So I was getting stressed out and trying not to use those anymore, but the twins don't nap well in their cribs, so nobody was napping in our house the last few days. It's good to know that other twin moms are using these things and that I will be able to transition them to the crib eventually - just not yet!

 

Mine are sleeping in their swings as I type this. They sleep so much right now that I really like to put them in swings and papasan chairs during the day to give them some different things to look at during the brief periods they are awake.

 

Mine slept in their cribs at night from day one but naps happened wherever and whenever until about 9 months. At that point they had major sleepy cues and naps started to become very regular (the same time every day) so I started putting them in their cribs for naps in addition to bedtime. The transition was completely smooth.

 

i wouldn't call it spoiling. But I tried not to hold my babies when they were sleeping so that they wouldn't expect it. I also put thm in the crib at 5 weeks during the night. From the begining I put them in a basinet for naps. This way they knew the difference in play and awake time. Also I could just lay them down and they woudl go to sleep on their own with out having to rock or nurse. It is wonderful.

 

I was worried about the same thing at that age. I let mine sleep on me, in the bouncies, swings, on the couch, whereever it took to get them to sleep. We started consistent naps in the cribs after they started STTN in their cribs at 4.5/5 months.

 

I agree with pp. At this point you can't spoil them. Don't let anyone tell you different. They depend on you right now and they need to know that when they cry, which is their ONLY way to communicate right now, that you will be there. I agree about the crib also. It is way to hard and too much of an open space for them which is scary. Remember, they spent 9 months (or so) curled up in a ball. It was warm and safe for them and they need to still feel that. Also, you need to do WHATEVER you need to do right now to make sure they get rest and to make sure YOU get rest. If that means sleeping them in the swing, the bouncy seat, the carseat, or whatever makes them content then do it. Worry about spoiling them later (like pp said when they are 6 months and up although I still spoiled them way beyond that ). Right now just do what it takes to keep everyone happy and sane!

 

Ditto, ditto, ditto! It is IMPOSSIBLE to spoil a baby that young. Just let them sleep however/wherever they're comfortable, and do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. You aren't creating any bad habits or expectations (it's impossible at that point, their brains simply aren't wired that way yet). You're just easing them through what is possibly the most difficult transition that any human being has to make in their entire lives, from the comfort and security of the womb to the cold, bright world.

Plus, you are in survival mode. Do whatever works! And if any book tells you different, then said book might make an excellent a) doorstop, B) kindling for a fire, c)...(you get the idea! )

 

We were reading in one of the many baby info books we have...Baby 411 and it said habits can not be formed at this age. Not until two months....If you can get them to sleep, let them sleep anywhere you can get them to

Dianna

 

You can't spoil them for a LONG time from now! Mine only slept in swing, bouncy seat, and mostly ON ME till they were 5 months. NORMAL!
Do what you have to do to get by- I think yours are WAY too young to worry about habits. Just do what ever works.
One of mine only slept ON ME till she was 4 months old. 20 min sounds about right in their crib. Sorry, but it will get better. They are totally normal. They WILL grow out of it!

 

No, I don't believe you can spoil them they are still in the newborn stage and whatever works do it or you will not be getting any sleep. I had a port-a-crib all ready next to my side of the bed and guess what they were having none of it...they slept in their infant car seats in our room for about the first 4/5 weeks, no kidding and when I asked the Pedi if that was ok he said "absolutely, it is mimicing the womb and if that is what works for now it's fine" From there they went to their Ocean Wonders bouncy seat and they would sleep with it on vibrate for about 3/4 weeks at three months I put them in their own cribs in their own room one day for nap, my mom was over and insisted I try their cribs and that was it they stayed in their own room/crib from then on. Don't worry so much about where or how you can get them to sleep for 2 or 3 hours at a time just that they are and you are getting some rest..GL I don't miss those days!

 

Thank goodness you posted about this!! I was just getting stressed out about the same thing. Thanks!!!

 

QUOTE(isis @ Mar 15 2008, 10:37 AM) [snapback]670542[/snapback]
thanks for all your replies. i was just reaading the baby whisperer book and she totally discourages use of chairs, swings etc. So I was getting stressed out and trying not to use those anymore, but the twins don't nap well in their cribs, so nobody was napping in our house the last few days. It's good to know that other twin moms are using these things and that I will be able to transition them to the crib eventually - just not yet!


i read that book last week and i really wanted to know how others felt about it! i think she has some great ideas but some of her opinions are just insensitive, imo! i agree w/the pp's that you can't spoil children at this age.... one of mine is asleep on my lap as i type and the other's asleep next to his daddy. i do also worry about getting them to sleep in their cribs and/or basinettes later on, and i'd love to figure out how we'll do that! however, for now, "any means necessary" is the way to go! esp cuz mine were preemies and spent the first two months of their lives under microscopes, lights, etc. i want them to be comfortable and secure right now--and to sleep well. no matter how!

best of luck, jl

 

Nothing that you are doing with a six week old is going to create any problems with the baby. At that age, they are just in their own world, pretty much. Just do what you need to do to get through it and beginning at 4 mos (adjusted) things will start looking UP and you can start feeling like there is a rhyme and reason to things. Right now it's just maddness. Good luck!! Do NOT beat yourself up at this point about spoiling, schedules, crying, sleeping--- it really means nothing right now... Time will change your baby 97% from who he/she is at 6 weeks. You will be amazed!

 

I agree. You can not spoil an infant. My ped says so. He says we train them to cry when they need comfort and that going to them reassures them.

 

I have read that you can't "spoil" a baby that young. I totally believe it. We slept in a recliner with our son for about 5 months. He just wouldn't sleep any other way. I don't regret it, & I don't think he's spoiled now. He's not clingy or anything. He's a very independent 2 year old. We are hoping, however, that both twins aren't like that. That may be a little difficult to do!!

 

Everyone else said what I was going to say. Can't spoil them and at that age you do what works! My girls slept where-ever, whenever until they were like 5 or 6 months old. They napped in the pnp sometimes, in a boppy pillow, on the floor on their activity mat, in the bouncy, in a swing, in the carseat, etc. Now they nap and sleep in a crib, but it was a whole different world a year ago. GL!

 

Mine never napped in their cribs. It was always in a swing, or a bouncy. As they got older it was on the couch. Katie also naps in her swing.

 

Ours napped until 4 months in the bouncy or swing- we decided at that age...let them nap wherever works and at night they slept in cribs...we were ok with that..plus it got them used to the daily living noises so now they sleep thru a lot!!

 

You canNOT "spoil' a six week old baby - ignore anyone who tells you you can! Have you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block?" I would definitely get it and watch the dvd; the premise is that their first three months are really the "fourth trimester" - they are just getting used to being out in a world that is cold and bright and with different noises after being nestled cosily inside you and hearing your heartbeat and blood ALL THE TIME! They do want to be surrounded and contained -that's why swaddling helps them sleep so much (MOST babies, some don't like it)

I can tell you that mine turn ONE this week and they still wake up with their head pressed against the edge of the crib - they like to feel connected/attached to something.

as pp said, their brains aren't wired for habit forming yet, they ARE wired for needing mama! (and papa and other warm, loving arms holding htem and soothing them. And yes, it seems unbelievabe but soon you will be looking at pics of them and saying "i cant' believe they were ever this small!"

 

Mine are 5 1/2 months and still nap in their swings...we get longer naps that way. They will have to nap in their cribs eventually but not now. In the beginning you do what you need to do to get sleep. On you, swing, bouncy whatever whereever, whenever. You cannot spoil them that way. This world is new and strange to them they need mommy and daddy's comfort.....