Am I rude?

My husband and I are taking the boys to a big family gathering tomorrow. One of the moms attending wrote an e-mail to let me (and another mom) know that her baby has a cold and to ask if we mind if she brings him anyway (there will be 5 babies at the party, all around the same age, including one who was a super preemie and nearly died of complications...RSV? I can't remember exactly what.). I wrote back to say I was so sorry that her baby was sick, I know what a drag it is to have your baby catch a cold, and I know how disappointing it is to have to cancel social events because your baby is ill...but I basically tried to politely say I didn't think it was a great idea to bring a sick baby to the party, and if she did bring her baby we'd probably keep our distance. I think she's a fantastic person and I'd love to see her, but I'm so nervous of Evan and James catching another killer cold (we've been through two already this winter). What would you have done? Maybe I'm being ridiculous because it is a party after all, and there's no way we can guarantee all 30 people in attendance are going to be free from illness.

 

I agree with you and I think you handled it very well.

 

I don't think your response was rude at all. If anything, it's really inconsiderate of the other mom to even think of bringing a sick baby to a party (especially where other babies would be exposed to all the germs). If she doesn't get the hint from your tactful message, you will be perfectly in the right keeping your twins away from her little sickie!

 

I don't think you were rude.

I avoided any sick kids and babies for a long time and kept mine home if they were sick too. My sister always used to say that my neices nose was running because of teething but then my girls would be sick a week later. I could not stand that.

 

I don't think it was rude at al....besides, she asked in the email if you minded, so it sounded like she kind of had an inkling that it wasn't a very good idea. No, I think you handled it perfectly.

 

I think as kids get older and stronger you can get away with going places with runny noses, the end of a cough etc., but at young ages....I don't like it! I hope she doesn't!! :hug99:

 

How about keeping the sick baby home for the sake of the sick baby? I don't think you were rude, you handled it well.

 

Ditto - a smart and gracious response. and yes to pp - how ABOUT keeping the sick baby home - who would want to take their poor sick baby out? I understand not wanting to miss things and feeling isolated, but - i know when my girls had a cold I kept them away from other peoples' babies -and away from places where they would feel worse! (Sorry, feeling kind of rant-y here)

 

As a mother of a full term (41weeker) that nearly lost his life to RSV at 20 days old.... I do not take my sick kids out for pleasure- for their sakes and because you never know who you may give it to. My son was a VERY healthy baby who I would have taken to a party no problem but when he stopped breathing from RSV my whole world changed. even seemingly healthy babies can have very bad problems. I know that there is no way to 100% guard your kids against germs I imagine that out of 30 - several will have some kind of cold or illness and may not even know it but it is very rude and irresponsible to knowingly expose other babies to illnesses.

RSV is serious - my son is 11 and has been hospitalized almost every year due to breathing issues because of the damage caused by the RSV when he was 20 days old. I sure don't want anyone else to have to go through the things he has.

 

I agree with pp that you weren't rude at all. I don't think its a good idea to bring sick kids out not just because you exposing others to their germs, but also because they really need their rest to get better. Hopefully this woman will reconsider. I know that I've felt bad that we had to cancel plans at the last minute because the girls were sick, but I would have felt worse if I found out all the kiddos at the event got sick because I was selfish and didn't want to miss out.