Am I Right?

My Dh has to go out to poker night once a week. My kids were really sick since last Monday but they got better on Thursday night but I have been exhausted for the whole week. I ask him not to go out that night and stay home to help, but he asked not to force him to stay, so he took off. I feel so disappointed and would never forget what had happened. I don't think I can ever forgive him...

Am I too stuborn? Am I right?

 

:hug99: s! Sounds like you have had a rough week! I think you should sit down and talk to him and explain that you need a break!

:sign0016: to TS! How old are your babies?

 

QUOTE(becky5 @ Apr 20 2007, 02:09 PM) [snapback]228519[/snapback]
:hug99: s! Sounds like you have had a rough week! I think you should sit down and talk to him and explain that you need a break!

:sign0016: to TS! How old are your babies?


I agree with the PP tell your husband you want to talk to him. And then sit down and explain how hard your week was taking care of two sick babies. Let him know you need a break to get some rest.

 

I agree with Becky, you need to tell him since he does something one night a week, you are going to as well. I would be straightforward with him. Make a list if you have to, I did that with my DH. I charted down when he left/what he did... and I made a list of what I did... I did nothing except be at home while he was out with the 'guys' ... it has been 2 weeks since he went out with the guys, so looks like it worked!

 

QUOTE
Make a list if you have to, I did that with my DH. I charted down when he left/what he did... and I made a list of what I did... I did nothing except be at home while he was out with the 'guys' ... it has been 2 weeks since he went out with the guys, so looks like it worked!


Great idea! Talk about it being very concrete and visual!

 

Did anyone ever see this Super Nanny episode? The mother was doing all of the work with three boys, and the nanny made her point about the imbalance in workload by doing the following:

She filled up satchels with sand and tied them with a pretty bow. She then labelled each satchel with a chore or child related activity name (bathtime, dinner prep, dishes, story-time, snacktime, bedtime, etc.) and gave the husband and the wife a tray each. She then began to ask who typically did what on a given night. She then would take each satchel full of sand and put it on the tray of the person who typically did that particular task. It became very visually obvious who had been handling the work load all the time and what a burden it had become on this poor mom. She then asked the husband to hold his wife's tray. I think he got the hint. She then asked them to divvy up the activities in a more proportional way so that they ended up with even amounts of satchels.

Very simple, but clever way of getting a point across!

Carina

 

I think you already got some excellent advice but I wanted to :sign0016: you to TS! I hope you can work something out with DH.

 

:sign0016: and congrts on ur babies!!! seems like the other girls have given u great advice so i dont have much to add, i would just tell him since he goes out 1 a week that u are too. thst what me and my dh do. i got out friday nights with the girls :drinks: and he goes out on saturdays!!! good luck i hope u can work it out!

 

The others have given you some great advice, I just wanted to ask about the timing. When did you ask him not to go? Did you talk to him earlier in the day knowing that it was poker night or did you ask him as he was putting his shoes on to go. That would make a big difference on how I felt about the situation.

 

This happens in our house too. I finally said to DH that I RARELY ask you to stay home, so when I ask, it means I'm serious and I really need you here. I'm not doing it to be mean or take away his fun. I seriously need a break. Believe me, I understand how mad you are. :hug99: Give yourself a chance to calm down, then talk to him about taking a night each week for yourself AND that both of you are allowed every once in awhile to ask the other to come home. Things happen. Just because you have something scheduled doesn't mean I'm not allowed to change plans, kwim?

Shannon