Am I putting the twins to bed way too late?

I try to give the twins their last feeding somewhere between 8 and 8:30, and put them to bed right after, so about 8:30-9:00 (give or take a little). Is this way too late? They get up about 6:30-7:00. (My older daughters have been going to bed at 9 for years, so I think it just feels like a natural bedtime.) I'm not real structured about nap times, either. I tried to bring them to their cribs for naps, but that only lasted a few days when they were around 4 months old. Now they nap wherever they fall asleep... sometimes in a bouncy, sometimes I hold them.
I definitely need sleeping advice... I think I'm "winging" it way too much and it is going to come back and kick me in the end!

Any help is greatly appreciated!

Helen

 

I think you have to do what fits for you and your kids.

For us, my two oldest have to be on the bus at 7:12am so they go to bed at about 7:30 (8 & 6y/o) We wake them up at 6:30 so they get about 11 hours sleep and need every bit of it. They could probably use 12 hours but we just can't get that to work.

My babies go to bed about the same time too, 7:30. They get up about 7:30 too. If I put them to bed later, they still get up at the same time but are much crankier. They truely need at least 12 hours at night plus a 1.5-2.5 hour nap daily.

Dh and I also found that getting to bed before 8 Pm made a HUGE difference for us, giving us more adult time. Well worth trying to see if it works for you. If not, you can always go back to how you are doing it now.

 

Since you asked I personally don't think they are getting enough sleep at night. My twins still go bed at 7:30pm and my oldest DD, who is almost 7, is at 8:30. You have to do what is best for you and your family, but I do think that is a bit late, JMO.

ETA: Once we had a set eating schedule during the day, they went to bed at 7:30pm, that was around 6.5 months.

 

As previously stated, you have to do what's works best for you. I have to have my girls on a schedule, so they go to bed at 7:30 pm and get up at 6:30 am, and they are put down for a nap around the same time everyday, even on weekends.

 

I don't think at this age there is a "too late" schedule. You really have to do what works for your overall family. At 7 months, my girls were going to bed at 7:30 and waking anywhere between 5:30 and 7. This schedule worked for me because Dh and I needed a couple of hours at night to just relax, eat our dinner and watch some t.v. and read in bed. Try not to get too caught up in what "other" people are doing. Everyone does what works for their life and our lives are all different in many ways. My one girlfriend puts her son (same age as my girls) to bed at 10-10:30 pm. It's easy for me to say, OMG that is so late but she and her dh are night people. They go to bed at like 2 or 3 am so it works for them. I also have another set of friends that also put their son to bed really really late. When they start preschool or kindergarten then you may have to make some adjustments but in the meantime just do what is best for you guys.

 

I, like you, put the boys to bed pretty late. Lately, it seem i can't get them to bed before 9 or 9:30pm. To me, that feels too late but i just can't seem to manage anything earlier with all the napping and eating that goes on during the day. I think i would have to cut out one of their 3 naps in order to get them to go to bed earlier and i don't know how to rework the feeding schedule if i do do that.

i do, however, follow a schedule during the day. they are mostly awake for 2 hours at a time before i put them down for a nap (in their cribs). It's just that sometimes naps last long so they get about 4 hours of daytime sleep per day. (for example, they have been sleeping since 2pm and it is now 3:30pm. I normally wouldn't wake them but i think i'm going to right now because it is getting too late and they will go to bed even later!!)

so, just wanted to say that you're not the only one with a late bedtime...
arda

 

I think that if the schedule works for YOU and the babes seem rested and happy - why mess with a good thing? Maybe if they start getting cranky etc. you'll have to tweak here and there etc., but you know your babies best and you will be able to tell what they need. They say 12-15 hours of sleep in 24 hour period. or something like that. sounds like you're doing great actually

 

I go by the HSHHC book, and it works great for us. According to that book, babies older than 4ish months should go to bed between 6 and 8, and wake between 6 and 7 in the morning...or something close to that. Ours basically created their own bedtime at about 4.5-5 months. They would get tired earlier and earlier, and now their bedtime is typically 6:45, give or take 15 minutes, no more. We don't go to them until 7 am, although sometimes they wake earlier...

It might make it easier on yourself to get them into a more structured sleep/nap schedule. It really works for us. BUT...I don't have TWO other kids!!!!

If your babies seem happy most of the time, and get minimum of 14ish hours of sleep a day, they're probably just fine.

Jennifer

 

I suggest an earlier bedtime. They'll probably continue to sleep until 7 or so. I'd put them down closer to 7 if I were you. I bet you can aim for two naps a day - around 9 and 1 (give or take an hour). I put my boys to bed between 6 and 7, depending on when their last nap ended, how cranky they are, etc. They wake up at 6:30 (on a good day). If I put them down much later they wake up at 5. I don't know why! You might want to pick up a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. You don't have to follow everything in it (I don't) but it sure does help you with a structured sleep system and it helps you know how close your babies are to average! I think at 7 months your babies should probably be getting about 14 hours of sleep per day, maybe a bit more. Do you think they get that?

Of course this is easy for me to say because I don't have TWO ADDITIONAL KIDS TO CARE FOR! You're super woman.

 

Arda, I am very jealous of your great nappers!

Catherine

 

I tend to get caught up in what everyone else is doing too, but a 6 or 7pm bedtime just isn't going to work for my family. We get them in bed by 10pm.. sometimes earlier, sometimes later. They sleep through the night and take great naps during the day. They are happy babies that I can take out during the day without a problem. DH and I do things in the evenings, we have no family here, so the girls go with us and they are angels.

This is what works best for us. I LIKE that we are flexible and the girls are happy and healthy. That's all I worry about.

 

I try to get at least 12 hours of night sleep out of them. My oldest, 3, is still sleeping 7 to 7 with a nap (not all days), and she really needs it (and mommy and daddy too!). As a child I was going to bed early too. I don't think I went to bed at 8 or 9 until I was much older. As long as they're doing fine with it, it's probably OK, but if you start noticing they're not handling it as well you'd better adjust their bed time.

 

My boys go to bed around 9:00pm or 9:30pm. That's just how their feedings fall. They sleep through the night til about 7-8am. I've tried to manipulate their feedings differently but somehow it doesn't quite work out like I plan it. They are great nappers during the day though and sleep in their cribs for naps. They are also happy babies. I was actually planning that when I start them on cereal we will try to get them into an earlier bed time. Hopefully it'll work out for us then. I just try to do what works for us and the babies and so far this has worked well.

 

QUOTE(Chrishelle @ Sep 28 2007, 07:50 PM) [snapback]428296[/snapback]
My boys go to bed around 9:00pm or 9:30pm. That's just how their feedings fall. They sleep through the night til about 7-8am. I've tried to manipulate their feedings differently but somehow it doesn't quite work out like I plan it. They are great nappers during the day though and sleep in their cribs for naps. They are also happy babies. I was actually planning that when I start them on cereal we will try to get them into an earlier bed time. Hopefully it'll work out for us then. I just try to do what works for us and the babies and so far this has worked well.


christie - your schedule sounds like mine. I've tried to get them to bed earlier, but feedings just don't fit in otherwise.

Catherine - at least my boys are doing SOMETHING well if they don't eat, at least they sleep. otherwise, they know their mom just wouldn't survive. As we speak, i am waiting for them to wake up from the nap i put them down for at 12:10!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe they're still sleeping!!!!!!!!!!! at this rate, there is no way they will take their 3rd nap. I think they are starting to drop that 3rd nap so their other two naps are getting longer. Not sure, just trying to go with the flow...

 

Thank you for all of your input!
Helen

 

I have actually wondered this many times. Mine usually don't go down until 8:30 or 9:00 (sometimes 9:30). I figure as long as they aren't cranky the next day it must be okay. Plus since I am a working mom I cherish that time at night with them.

 

QUOTE(Sofiesmom @ Sep 28 2007, 07:15 PM) [snapback]428250[/snapback]
I try to get at least 12 hours of night sleep out of them.


I'm also the same way. My two wake at the same time every morning NO matter what time I put them to bed. I've tried a late bedtime (8/9pm) and an early bedtime (6/7) and they still wake usually around 6am. So I put my two to bed between 6/6:30pm. This also gives me some free time and they are getting a good 11/12 hours of sleep and they don't want/fight that 3rd nap so this works for all of us.

 

I used to put my kids down around 830pm or 9pm and they always woke up around 6am. One night I decide to try earlier, although I was so afraid we would have liek a 4am wake up call. What I found out was that it didn't matter what time I put them to bed, they still work up between 6 and 7am. So we decided to move it earlier so that we could have a little alone time at night, and then the kids started sleeping closer to 7am in the morning too! For us, it didn't seem to bother them to go down later, but it also didn't affect them to go down earlier, so we decided to let them get as much sleep as possible, and some alone and quiet time for me and DH. Do what's best for your family.

 

I agree about purchasing HSHHC. The biggest thing I have learned is that babies need rest. There are cues that they give that aren't necessarily crying to tell you that they are tired. You can easily miss these cues. I found that this author, and doctor, was pretty darn exact on his recommendations for sleep once I followed his methods.

 

Obviously my girls are too young for a technical "bedtime"...especially since we are smackdab in the middle of "colic season".

With Emily though, she never went to bed any earlier than 8...mostly 9. If we put her to bed before 8, DH would of never saw her. He normally doesn't get home from work til 6:30 or 7. She would get up around 7-8 in the morning. She has always slept 10hrs. per night. She WAS and IS a child who does get up earlier if she goes to bed earlier. DH and I would still definetly get our alone time in. But, things are much easier when it is just one. I am coming to find how hard it is with two babies and 3 kids.

I think with the twins, I will try and make their bed time around 7:30 or 8. I don't really want to do this b/c we go out and about a lot in the evenings, but DH and I are not getting in any alone time anymore. We are having a really hard time getting the girls to go to bed at night and we are up til 11 or 12 with them...blah. It is very hard b/c we are used to a lot of alone time and now we are getting NONE. Gosh do I miss cuddling with DH on the couch at night :cray:

Anyways, my point is, you have to do what works for you and your family. I think some books are good, but our chilldren are not text books. Every child and family is different. I do not think there is a wrong or right time for bed that is standard. You have to do what you have to do. For us, it was putting her to bed at 9. It worked great for us then. However, with the twins, I think it will be different and will have to find what works for us with them. At the same time, I cannot make it too early b/c DH wouldn't see them at all during the week and sense they are not going to daycare when I go back to work (mom and MIL are coming to our house to watch them), they can sleep til a later time than they would if I would have to take them to daycare.

April

 

I found the older they got the earlier their bedtime got....when they finally started sleeping through (6-8 hours) they'd have their final feeding around 9 ish and be down by 10 and up at 5:30 or 6, eat and go back down until 9 when they'd be up for the day (this was within the first 3 months)....then when they were ready to go to bed for 9 and get up at 6 they'd get their last bottle around 8 ish and then to bed...once they started solids and working up to 3 meals a day bedtime is now 7:30-8:30 depending on their naps, how wound up they are etc...and they sleep till 7...