Am I making a mistake?

As I've mentioned in many other threads, my boys are really really picky eaters. It's to the point that I rarely offer them veggies on their plate anymore because I hate wasting food. I pretty much just give them what I know they'll eat.

Saturday we were at my moms for dinner and she made lasagne, meatballs, garlic bread... I brought the boys yogurt, applesauce and breadsticks because I just knew they wouldn't try it so what's the point?

Is this a bad thing to do? Should I at least be offering them something at every meal in hopes that they'll try it and not throw it on the floor?

 

I keep on offering my girls food. You never know. Some days I will make them something different if they won't eat other days I won't. I give my girls a little of everything, even if it gets wasted.

 

I would continue to offer them a small amount of the food being served before giving them anything else. You can just put a tablespoon of each thing on their plates so you don't feel like you are wasting too much. And, it might seem less overwhelming to them if there is just a little bit on their plates. Personally, my girls have always eaten what was cooked for lunch/dinner. I have never given them an alternate meal. So, no, I wouldn't give in and give them something else. I would have them try the food that everyone else is eating. They may surprise you!

 

Yeah its a really bad thing. You are guaranteeing yourself bad eaters. My oldest is a bad eater but he gets exactly what I make for dinner and over the years his taste buds changed and now he likes certain things that he used to hate. By offering you give them the chance to accept or refuse food by not offering your not allowing them the chance to even try.

 

Definitely keep offering them at least a small portion of everything. I noticed you said in another post that you don't always eat dinner together. I think if your boys see you eating what you're offering them you might have a better chance of getting them to at least try a different food. No matter what you do just don't give up. I know it seems tough but it will be much easier for you to influence their eating habits now than when they're 5 and know what McDonalds is.

 

Thanks.

Do you think I should offer them ONLY what we are eating and nothing else? I worry so much about their size and whether they're eating enough but at the same time I think they may not be eating what's offered because they know I'll offer them something else.

I think I just answered my own question...

From now on it's dinners AT the table. Eating what we are eating AND/OR their jarred baby food.

 

I spent A LOT of time at my brother's house when my nieces (now 8 and 6) were growing up. I'd like to share what they did. The girls were very picky eaters, as you are describing your boys to be. They would make them a separate dinner, something they knew they would eat, but would also give them 2-3 bites of whatever they were having and they would have to try it. Honestly, it took years for them to learn to like the foods mom and dad eat, but around 4 years old my niece started eating a wider variety and now they eat almost everything the parents eat.

I don't think you are setting yourself up for bad eaters, based on what I have personally witnessed with catering to their likes and dislikes at this age. Good luck!!

 

The babies are served whatever we are eating... some days they eat it, some days they don't. What I do when they don't eat it is they get a larger, healthier snack later that day. For example, they ate a small lunch and later they got rice cereal with yogurt for their afternoon snack so they didn't expect a different meal but I was still able to meet the day's nutritional needs.

 

I don't see it as making a mistake as long as you keep trying new foods. I do something similar, but they have to try the new food. Especially at another person's home, I don't want a huge meltdown, so will bring some of what they like, but not to where it completely fills them up, so they are more apt to try something a little different.

Good luck - this good eating thing is a lot harder sometimes than it not, huh?

 

Their tastes definitely change over time and if they are not offered other foods you will never know what they might like/dislike. An example that pops into my head is that I discovered that Kayla likes raw carrots and not cooked so I started holding a few out of the pot to give her but now she likes them cooked so I don't have to do that. If I didn't continue to keep cooked ones on the table we would never know that her tastes had changed. (Probably a poor example but just what popped into my head).

We eat one meal but I plan according to what I think they will like (it does seem to change everyday, especially when someone asks me if they will eat ___ and I say yes only to have them make it and K&K not eat it). We are the meat, potatoes and veggie kind of family so I will choose a meat and if it is something I don't think Kayla will eat so much then I will make the potatoes the way I know she will like...........the next night if I am making a meat that I don't think Kyle will like soo much I will make a potato version that I know he will like...............this way there is always something everyone will eat.....sometimes they like the entire meal which is obviously great but no matter what I know there is something on the table that will fill their tummies.

 

This is me, but no, I would not bring separate food for them, even if I knew they probably wouldn't eat what was being served. My girls can be picky, but I don't make them separate meals. I try to make sure there is something, even if it's just bread, that they will eat. I usually give them fruit for dessert. If they absolutely refuse to eat anything, I will sometimes get them a piece of cheese, but that's not the norm.

 

My boys are picky eaters and the OT has said to continue to put it on their plate. If they don't want to eat it or don't even want it on their plate then they have to take it off and put it next to their plate on a napkin. This gets them familiar with the food and eventually they will try it. I'm still waiting I also do like the pp'ers mentioned and make sure that I serve at least one thing they will eat so that they stay at the table for the meal. Then I give them a larger snack.

-Kimberly

 

At that age, I always (& still do with the little ones) offered a small amount of what we were eating, but if they didn't like it I would give them something else. And when we would go to Grandma's (or anywhere else), I always packed a few things, just in case. Now, the older ones are NOT picky eaters. They are very good to try anything, but they know they won't be forced to eat it if they just don't like it. There are very few foods that they won't eat & I respect their choices, they are probably healthier eaters than I am.

 

they have to try one bite of what is on their plate, have for a while now. They do not have to eat it all, they just have to try it. It they do not like it this time, that is fine, they tried it. But we tried to have some of what we knew they would eat and something else/new. frequently they would refuse it but once they got eating, especially if they were hungry they would eat it. Not always. Ian will not eat a tomato. He informs me he will like them when he is older, but not now. this is the only thing he is adamit about, so I do not push it. V LOVES tomatoes. What are you going to do?

 

I would keep offering, mine like things one day and not the next. Also, have you tried one of those cookbooks where you "hide" veggies and fruit in things they will eat? One is called "Deceptively Delicious" and the other is called "The Sneaky Chef".

 

Quite honestly, I wouldn't do it the way you are doing it. I have never offered my kids an alternative choice at dinner. Lunch and breakfast I always serve food (for the most part) that I know they will eat. But dinner is dinner... if you start offering alternative choices they will expect a la carte kitchen for years to come. My rule of them is to present the dinner choices to my kids. they either eat or they don't. I won't battle it out with them. If they start crying/throwing a fit at the table or doing other things I consider bad table manners then they are removed from the table and required to sit in a chair separate from the table while the rest of us eat. (If they throw food then they help clean it up...I do discipline for this as well.) When they are less than 2.5 I always allow them to have their milk regardless of what they've eaten... after that point I usually require them to eat something before they get their milk. If I know that they don't like the veggie I'm offering then I require them to eat a small portion of that veggie before they can get other preferred choices. Many times before I will give them a second serving of a starch (my kids love all starches) I will have them eat a little more veggies.... I do not try to deceive my kids by sneaking the veggies in...that rarely works anyway. But I do try to prepare the veggies in appealing ways. For instance... my kids will eat almost any veggie with cheese on it. They also prefer broccoli to other green veggies. They love salad (the real stuff, not iceberg) with dressing. So those are my two fallback green veggies.

I would absolutely continue to offer them adult dinner choices. Honestly I would take it one step beyond that and discontinue offering them alternative choices. If they are hungry they will eat. I don't create a huge battle out of it. If they won't eat, then they won't eat. However, certain behaviors such as throwing food or throwing a fit at the table are totally unacceptable. By age 2 I discipline for it. By age 3 I require my kids to at least try a bite of foods they claim to not like.

 

We never offer the kids anything other than what's for dinner. If we want to introduce a new food, they must take at least one bite. If they don't like it, we either try to "disguise" it with other food and "slip" it in, or we we wait till close to the end and have them try it again, or let it go for that meal. We reintroduce these types of food all the time to help build their taste pallet. If they don't want what is being served entirely, they just go hungry. We will bring the plate out at the next meal, or if they are really hungry before, then we will try it for a snack for at least a few bites. I understand there are just some foods that they will never like---heck, I still don't like some foods. If there is one food specifically other than what is the main dish, we tend to let them eat a few bites of the "offensive" food and then finish the main dish. I also know that my kids love fruits. If we want them to eat dinner, we don't get the fruit out (that we otherwise would have had w/dinner) until they are close to being done. Out of sight, out of mind, KWIM. Then they don't fill up on what they like the best before trying the other food. Little "tricks" like that work great. I've been told that we have great eaters, but there are a few foods they just don't like. HTH!

Side note, they pretty much only get adult options. They eat what we eat. Maybe modified a bit. About a year ago we ordered Mac & Cheese at a restaurant for DD1 and she didn't like it. It was off the children's menu and we thought she'd love it. The kids would rather have what we're having, so we almost never order off a children's menu unless its an adult style meal but smaller.

 

Yep, just keep offering.

That is what I am doing. My guys have become extremely picky here all of a sudden. There are some days they only eat Sausage biscuits for breakfast, chicken nuggests and fries at lunch, and then some sort of light dinner and a snack before bed.

I don't stress over it though... they are still extremely healthy, in fact... they are overweight!! They do get veggies at dinner time, and they drink 2+ cups of Juicy Juice which is their fruit intake.

 

We all eat the same food. However, when they were as young as yours, if we had a spicy main dish, I did serve them something that wasn't spicy instead. Mine are not picky at all (one or two foods they don't like). I am not sure, though, if that's the way we feed them or I just got lucky with kids who aren't picky.

 

I just wanted to say I'm right there with you! One of mine is extemely picky. She hasn't touched a veggie in I don't know how long and will rarely try something new. She won't eat even eat cheese or mashed potatoes. The other one is picky, but not near as bad and she will eat veggies. I too have fallen into the trap of making them what I know they'll eat. Mealtime always seems like such a struggle and often I'm just not up for it.

Because of DH's work schedule, we only have 2 nights a week that we're all together, so they don't eat at the table with us often. 3 of the other nights they eat at the sitter's because I don't pick them up on the days I work until 6pm. I'm sure all this doesn't help their eating habits. At the sitters, sometimes Madison will only eat some cereal, fruit, crackers and milk all day. There they are basically offered what she fixes and thats it, so I'm not so sure that that approach is any more successful.

I SOOO feel your pain. If you find something that works, please let me know!!!