Am I expecting too much

Just wondering what would be your expectation of children going to be 5 in June.

Yesterday we reorganized their bedrooms and on top of their cube/toy unit, I put a little box with colouring books/paper and crayons (previous to that they have been kept up high in a cupboard), so they could reach them.

Things go quiet in their room, I go in and they have drawn all over one of the bed sheets with crayon. Should I not have left the temptation there or are they old enough not to do that?

They got time out and had to help me change the sheets (the changing wasn't really a punishment as they like to do it haha).

Also if I leave them at the kitchen table with markers say and run to the bathroom, 9 times out of 10 they will draw all over their arms, or do something they shouldn't. If they're in the bathroom and my makeups not away, sometimes they put it on etc..

So Obviously all childrens maturity levels are different, but what would u expect from this age group, thanks.

amanda

 

My boys will be six tomorrow, but as recently this past winter, Hayden drew on his wood bed frame with a pen and all over some paneled wood in our basement with a marker. We were shocked, because he never does stuff like that. And of course he could offer no explanation. But I guess they still don't have the judgement ALL the time that we hope they'd have.

 

I am recently learning it really has to do with the child. My two oldest and little dd have never really done stuff like that. Kyle on the other hand....is another story. If he knows he is not supposed to do it, he will. Just his nature!

 

Typical behavior for that age. The boys were 6 yo before they finally quit doing that sort of stuff. Granted they didn't do it a lot, but there are a few places that they have left their mark!

 

I don't think that nearly 5 is too young for them to know they shouldn't do that, but controlling the impulse is a different matter!
I'd probably give them another chance and if they do it again then put the crayons back away so they can't get them without asking.

Maybe you could also buy them some face paints or soap crayons so they have something they are allowed to draw on themselves with. It might help them get it out of their systems!

 

My 6 year old has had all that stuff in her room for about a year now and has never done things like that. I guess it just depends on the child/ren involoved cause when it is only 1 they tend to not color on the walls but when 2 are there they are tempeted by each other.

 

My 5 yr olds have crayons in their room and have since they were 4. They have written on the walls and doors a couple of times but it was before we started to let them have crayons in their room. I would give them another chance and let them know that they only color on paper and coloring books anything else and they lose the crayons. We had to remind the girls everynow and then (just to be on the safe side) but they have been good. Now keeping them in the box that's in their room is another story, I find crayons all over their floor in their room and on their bookshelf where they are kept but only a few in the box that they are supposed to be in on their bookshelf.

The make up I am not surprised with. It's something they probably don't ever get to do or if they do it's not very often so it's so tempting for them to get into. I know my girls probably wouldn't be able to help themselves if they saw makeup lying around (I don't wear it so I don't ever have any lying around for them to get into so not sure if they really would or not).

 

QUOTE(Twin nanny @ May 19 2008, 03:55 PM) [snapback]781794[/snapback]
I don't think that nearly 5 is too young for them to know they shouldn't do that, but controlling the impulse is a different matter!


Agreed!

 

I too think it depends on the child. My two oldest never did things like that. I don't think it was because "they new better", but rather they just weren't really interested. My DD since she could hold anything that writes in her hand has drawn on EVERYTHING and still does. Turning 6 in July, she should know better by this point. She has had plenty of time outs to where she should have learned. I really (even at 6) do not think it has to do with her trying to spite me. I just think she can't control that impulse yet.

 

QUOTE(Twin nanny @ May 19 2008, 04:55 PM) [snapback]781794[/snapback]
I don't think that nearly 5 is too young for them to know they shouldn't do that, but controlling the impulse is a different matter!


Agree also. Our boys are 6 months younger and we have had a couple of episodes just last month with the one guy. We were coloring/drawing outside on the picnic table and shortly after, Luke drew with a sharpie marker on the wooden picnic table. And the killer...the next week while I was taking a shower, Luke was hanging out in my bedroom watching TV. When I got out, I noticed that he wrote on our white duvet bedspread with a black ink pen!! :icon_eek: I couldn't believe it!

When I asked him why in the world that he did that, he responded that he had thought of a story and his preschool teacher had told them to practice writing all their letters as often as possible. He felt very badly afterwards and hopefully that will be the end of his experimentation.

 

I think I just will try to keep temptation out of their way for a while, I did hesitate before I left the crayons in the bedroom, I should have known. Also as you all know with twins they do tend to egg each other on. And thanks I know I'm not alone.

 

My SD was about 6 and she wrote on her lamp shade and behind her pillow on her wall, she had only done that one other time when she was aobut 4 so I was surprised and I expected her to know better. I didn't yell but I did tell her to never, ever do that again and I'm sure I added something like your are not a baby and probably told her I will take something away whatever I said she never did it again. I think they just like to see what they can get away with and with two, you know someone is always coming up with some sort of "bright idea" I have a feeling my boys will be much more creative...YKWIM?
I would definately take away the crayons/coloring books and explain I thought they were old enough but I guess not that sort of thing...GL!

 

Hi Amanda:

My girls would never have done that last year, but Nicole has recently done things similar to what you are describing and Jamie is also testing us now (all this started close to the turning 5 mark). I was talking to DH the other day about this. We were trying to figure out if our expectations of them have just increased so much, or if their behaviour actually was getting worse??? :angry: I never remember Jamie being so whiney as just recently. I don't recall Nicole ignoring our instructions quite so much. We decided it's time for a new strategy. If you have any ideas pass them on. It's difficult because most of the time their behaviour is not one specific incident to give them a time out or discipline them for, it's more of a different reaction than what we are used to. Perhaps more defiant?? Yikes. I still consider them well behaved, but there are some things lately that have really thrown us for a loop. I'm right there with ya!

 

My son hasnt colored on the walls (or himself) since he was three. They should know better at that age, IMO.

 

I do think they should know better, but the temptation may have just been too strong! I am a little obsessive about keeping all the art supplies - including crayons - on some shelves I have in my kitchen. My boys are only allowed to write/draw/color at the kitchen table. I have, however, caught them absentmindedly doodling on the table or chairs! They seemed as suprised as I did! I think you're smart to keep those things out of their bedroom for awhile more.

 

When my girls do this stuff my mom always asks me, "Aren't they too old to still be doing that?" THANKS, LADIES! You made me realize that maybe they should know better but obviously, they are still going to try to get away with it. Shouldn't a 17 or 18 year old know better than to speed? Shouldn't a 30 year old know not to drive drunk? Choices follow us our whole lives. I need to remember that and pray mine make the right ones!

 

Every now and then my girls will give into the impulse to do something like that but they definitely know it is wrong. They will get in huge trouble and it is a rare occurrence. Now, spreading every single toy across the playroom seem to be an impulse that they can never control...

 

Oh boy!! I would think that any child, given the opportunity would have a ball drawing on any type of surface! It thrills them to see their artwork...its not really done to destroy.
If you have always had them supervised...and than just let have control, its not surprising that they had a ball with the freedom. Even if they know they are not suppose to, the temptation is sometimes too strong for them at this age...heavens....even I have lack of self control at times!! :snicker:

I still have that sort of craft stuff in our family room, where there is supervision of one kind or another. I have slowly given more freedom by not actually sitting with them while they draw, but leaving the room for short periods. So far we have been very lucky. There have been very minor epsiodes and I have just sternly stated that we colour and draw on paper...walls are not for that, they are for holding up the house ect!

Don't feel bad though, every child is different! I remember with my older 3, finding MANY drawings in my crawl space years later!!!:snicker: