am i doing something wrong?

i have been a long time lurker of this message board and have learned a lot from the advice given. i'm hoping that someone can help me out. i know people say that it will get easier but my girls are approaching 12 weeks and although it has gotten easier since the newborn phase, i still feel like i am drowning.

the worse part is that i even have help most of the day while my husband is at work. but it's still so hard since i am breastfeeding during the day and pumping at night.

we're still on a 3 hour schedule. breastfeeding has gotten easier and we're on an eat, play, sleep schedule. but why is it so hard to put them down for naps and bedtime. they cry and fuss for a good 30 minutes before they go to sleep during the day. i'm trying to follow HSHHC's rule of putting them down when they show sleepy signs but that never works.

what do/did your 3 month's schedules look like? any advice on how to get them down for naps easier without all the fussing and crying? thanks so much.

 

My boys are 3 1/2 mos old. From day one, I have swaddled them and laid them down to sleep awake so they learn to put themselves to sleep. At about 3 mos, they decided they didn't want to be swaddled anymore. They still go down fairly well. We don't really have a schedule. They usually go down for their first nap about 1 1/2 hours after getting up for the day. The next nap is usually around the same amount of time awake, 1 1/2 hours.

Don't be afraid to nurse them before going down for a nap. It helps them relax and tanks them up for a nap and it helps your supply. Don't let them fall asleep tho.

Fussing and crying for 30 mins really isn't bad. I let my boys fuss if they need to let off stress but I keep an ear out and if it escalates, then I go in and figure out why they can't settle down. It's usually a burp! Sometimes I put them down too early and they just want to play some more.

Speaking of my boys, one is getting up from a nap. Time to pop in the pizza and go nurse!

Hope this helps and good luck!

 

I ignored advice and nursed mine to sleep for naps and bed for at least the first 4 months. They stopped nursing to sleep for naps on their own around 5 months - they just nursed and then looked at me like, "what's next?" so I had to start putting them down awake. They did the same thing with bedtime nursing at around 7 months. When they stopped falling asleep that way, I just started laying them down in their cribs with music. DS was easy - he has a crib soother with a mirror, lights, and music. He would look at that and fall right to sleep. DD was a little fussier. I read parts of the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and decided to do things gradually for her. First I rocked her to almost asleep, then after she got the hang of that, I rocked her for less and less time until eventually there was no more rocking. Eventually she got it so she would just snuggle her lovey (got permission for that once she was rolling over both ways) and go to sleep. Now at 9 months she grabs her lovey monkey, rolls onto her belly, whines for about 3 minutes, and falls asleep.

If you are comfortable nursing them to sleep, I say do it, even though a lot of people will tell you the opposite. I was afraid it would become a habit, but I can tell you that once mine got to the more distractable age, no way would they fall asleep nursing. Sometimes I wish they would! I think they outgrow the habit on their own as they develop so IMO, why not if you're ok with it. FWIW, mine are now great sleepers - 11-12 hours at night and two naps and they never fuss more than 5 minutes as they fall asleep.

 

I don't remember much until 4 months..that's when we got a schedule for napping and bedtime. I never did any kind of "routine" for naps other than laying them down and giving them a binky..bedtime was bath, bottle and bed...that's it. The schedule just fell into place.

 

The boys' schedule was our schedule. It pretty much followed the 3 hour "routine" and as we got into the 4th, almost 5th month, the schedule started to come into place.

The naps really didn't start to come together until then either. Now we know their cues and approx. what time they will go down. Pretty much from the start we would put them in their swings or cribs when they showed any sort of sign of sleepiness. I have to admit - my boys probably spent a lot more time in their swings than their cribs at that age. We needed some time away/break from them, sleep and all that stuff so the swing was a great outlet. We're just now trying to "wean" them from their night time catnap in their swings to a catnap in their cribs or even trying to skip the last catnap and putting them to bed a little earlier. I'm not sure if you have a swing but it's a thought.

I would definitely continue to feed them right before their naps/bedtime to help sooth them to sleep and then also continue to put them down when they show signs of being tired.

It will all come and just seem to fall into place. Good luck and hope this helps!

 

You're doing everything right. I agree with the prior posts, 30 min at that age is not bad and they are a little young right now and won't "get it" for a month or so. I followed that book too and it was and still is a life saver. Just keep up the schedule and it will get easier (I know, easier said than done). Keep putting them down very drowsey and eventually it will be easier to put them down more awake as they mature. And as they mature they will learn to sooth themselves to sleep.

 

I don't think there's any such thing as a schedule for 3 month olds. You're still in survival mode. We're just now getting into a predictable routine and moreso with one than the other. Just do what you feel is best. Mine go to sleep on the bottle now and I'm guilty of fixing a couple extra ounces to soothe them, but it works and it's not like they go to sleep every time they eat, only when tired. We're getting more able to put them down when tired, but not asleep and they will self-soothe.

Good luck!

 

While I felt like I was in survival mode until about 8 weeks, it got better after that and I think it was because we really, really tried to stick to a flexible routine. At three months, it looked like this: (times would vary up to 1/2 hour depending on their sleep, and I would wake them up together at that point)

7AM - first bottle of the day (tried to keep this really consistent)
get dressed for the day, "wake up" routine
8AM - nap (usually lasted 2 hours)
10AM - second bottle
play time, and/or tummy time
11:30AM - nap
1PM - third bottle
run errands, get out for a walk, etc
4PM - fourth bottle
4:30PM - nap
7PM - fifth bottle
family play time, etc, bedtime routine
8:30PM - bedtime
4AM - mid-night feeding and then right back to bed

We always did a feed, play, sleep schedule and laid the girls down awake but tired so they learned to fall alseep without a sleep prop (nursing, rocking, holding, etc). Now at nearly 4 months, they are sleeping from 8:30PM straight through till about 7:30AM. And they are very different babies, so I know the sleeping well isn't their personality or preference per se, just a result from a solid routine and trying to get full feedings during the day.

Oh, and they also have slept on their tummies since 8 weeks. I hope this helps!