Am I crazy?

Hi - my DH and I have been talking about when we might want TTC again. I have alot of mixed ideas about how long to wait before trying. If we do it now, we still have all the baby clothes and items around (his sister is due next month, so we can rotate items). Or do we wait and let our little ones grow up and get potty trained. There seems to be a lot of pros and cons about when to start. How long did/are you waiting between babies? And was there a reason? Thanks for your input.

 

My girls are 19 months, and we're not getting pregnant until next spring or summer. We need to do IVF to get pregnant, and if it works the first time like it did the last time around, the girls will be 3 when the new baby (or babies!) arrive. Mostly we're waiting because of money issues. If we could get pregnant naturally and not have to pay $2,500 we would probably already be pregnant again!

 

It's funny, I was watching "Bringing Home Baby" this morning & found myself thinking, 'I can't wait to ttc again!" Which I immediately told myself I was crazy for.

I've just been recently thinking, wondering about having another baby. We still aren't 100% sure one way or another, so I know ttc isn't in our future anywhere soon. I think I would at least like to wait until they're both walking, potty trained would be nice....but mostly I'd like for them to be old enough to understand there was another baby coming & be excited about being big brother & sister.

 

I wanted my kids close in age.
I had the urge to have another when Noam and Sapir were around one year old.

My gyno suggested I wait until Noam and Sapir were 4 years old and I thought that was too long.

We tried for about 6 months and then I did 3 FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfer) with the embryos from my IVF with Noam and Sapir. I had to do IVF from scratch again... and we got Hadas.

Sapir and Noam were potty trained by the time Hadas arrived. They had started half-day preschool when I was 7 months pregnant, so that helped too.

The sibling rivalry is hard to deal with at times, but that will happen no matter what age your twins are when they have a new sibling.

Good luck in your decision. Go with your gut.

I don't have the urge to have anymore kids now. I'm happy with my three and trying to give all of them as much love and attention as I can.

 

There are so many reasons for every single family.

We had the ttc conversation when M&T were 8 months old. We decided to wait until after they were 12 months old, and by the time everybody was done being sick for the winter, they were 16 months old before we stopped trying to prevent anything. But it was not the check the basil body temp, ok now is the best time, wait for the test every month.... More just let's see if anything happens.

We decided before trying to have kids that we did not want a long time between kids. There was 2.5 yrs between me and my twin brothers and I really liked that gap growing up. DH is 5 yrs younger than his next oldest sister, and 6 yrs older than his younger sister. He did not like the age spread growing up. We agreed we would like the kids (if possible) close together.
I also wanted to know once we were done diapers, we were DONE.
M&T were not potty trained when A was born. We were ok with that, but they did not train until after A turned 1, so having all three in diapers or pull ups is more expensive than we expected. But I do not think that would have changed our decision.
We had also said if M&T had started all day Kindergarten and we were not expecting by then, then we were also done trying. I know I would have personally felt like I was done with the baby stage and were were already blessed with two wonderful kids, so we were both content with that choice too.
Dh was 35 when A was born. He has said a few times now at 37 he could not imagine having another now because he does not want to go back to sleepless nights. That was harder on him at 35 with A that it was at 33 with M&T, and now at 37 he thinks it would be impossible for him. I just call him old. But for him, that was also one of his factors in making a decision about adding to the family. He did not personally want to feel too old to enjoy all the stages of his kids. He's not really, but he just says he feels that way. LOL.

Edited for spelling

 

Lauren was just over 1 when we decided to TTC again. Little did we know it would take us a year to concieve and then we got twins! In hindsight, I'm SO happy we have space between our children. For us it works out great! Now, we are 200% for sure done having children so we'll never be TTC again. But for our family, having 3 years between our oldest and the twins is perfect! Lauren was potty trained (for the most part) and more independant when the twins came and it was super helpful. I think of my twins now at 2 and I can't imagine adding another baby to the mix. They are so demanding and just wouldn't understand. But that's just me.

 

We have 3.5 years between our older Dd and our twins. It was really nice that DD was a little more independent when the twins arrived.

 

I don't think you're crazy! I started working on DH when the twins were a little over a year. He finally relented a few months ago and I'm now 11 weeks pregnant. I'm delighted since I wanted the kids to be less than 3 years apart, since I didn't want the new baby to feel too left out from the twins.

 

No, you're not that crazy . My girls are almost 25 months apart. If I would have known we were going to have twins, I would have waited another year, BUT I'm happy we didn't know & got our surprise (#3). We are still 50/50 on whether we try for #4- no decisions will be made until the babies are 2 at the earliest.
Good luck!

 

We found out were expecting #3 a week after the twins first birthday. It was quite the surprise! I am very nervous about how I am going to manage all three, especially since the boys are so active now. But I think the closeness in age will be wonderful for them as they grow up. It will definitely be a tough few years at first, but I think if we waited too too long, I wouldn't have the urge to go back to the newborn stage again. I'll let you know in a few months how I'm holding up!

 

I found out a new baby is on the way 2 week after the girls 1st b-day.
I'm thrilled!!
I like the idea that they will be near in age. The twins are so close and always will be that I felt another baby spaced further away would feel left out whereas if it's nearer to their age they will have more in common and maybe they'll all feel close to each other growing up. Also, for practical reasons I think it's easier if they are similar ages so they would enjoy similar outings, hobbies, activities and toys.
When i got pregnant with the girls I worked at a counselling center and also had a private practice which I had to shut because I was on bedrest for much of my pregnancy. i've been on leave from the counseling center since lasts april will go back to work later on this month till I'm 7 months pregnant and then I'm on leave again till the new baby is one years old. It makes sense to me to have these carreer brakes as near as possible rather than spread over time and then when all the children are a little older I can start up my private practice again and focus on work more. This interim if foused on babymaking and babyraising.
I'm 38 dh is 40 the clock was ticking....
I think whatever feels right for you and dh is what's right. There are arguments for both sides and either way things have a way of working out. After a baby arrives there is no other way you can imagine life being anyway.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

Whenever I see someone with a new baby or hear about someone getting pregnant, I think boy, it would be fun to have one baby! and the snap out of it! :laughing:

 

I am going to ttc starting next month. I got Mirena IUD in last month and I just am not happy with it like I was in the beginning. So in a week I will be asking my doc to take it out and start trying with my 1st cycle. I'm hoping to be pg by the start of the new year.

Good luck in ttc when ever it is you decide too!

 

I don't think you are crazy at all. I have actually been thinking about this recently due to the fact that everyone is telling me that I am crazy because my kids will be 19 months apart (ironically, no one said I was crazy when I had kids 1 minute apart). Every family is different. Do whatever you want. People can give you pros and cons but they are all subjective. What may be difficult for one mom may not be difficult for another. There is no magic number or time for a "perfect" experience. Do what you want and enjoy the benefits of the decision you make. Good Luck

 

Well, I dont think you are crazy! All of mine are two years or less and I love it! My SIL and I have talked about it alot, she has two, almost 4 years apart and I have 5 w/ a 2 year gap, 16 months and 18 month... (oh and 1 minute with the twins! ) and she has a way harder time... Her kids are in two different places in life, KWIM? All of mine are into the same things, so it is nice. ALso, you dont get use to NOT doing it, so you just keep on truckin' like its the norm... JMO.

 

QUOTE(HeyThere @ Sep 18 2007, 07:09 PM) [snapback]413645[/snapback]
Well, I dont think you are crazy! All of mine are two years or less and I love it! My SIL and I have talked about it alot, she has two, almost 4 years apart and I have 5 w/ a 2 year gap, 16 months and 18 month... (oh and 1 minute with the twins! ) and she has a way harder time... Her kids are in two different places in life, KWIM? All of mine are into the same things, so it is nice. ALso, you dont get use to NOT doing it, so you just keep on truckin' like its the norm... JMO.


Ditto. I didn't plan on having 3 so close together but I truly love it. They really enjoy each other and I think things will get easier in the future when they are all in the same phases of liking the same games, toys, etc. It's not for everyone, but if you have the desire to do it, then you can!

 

Well, let me first say my babies are IVF babies, we tried on our own for 4 years before that, so the chances of me getting pregnant "naturally" are slim. With that said, we are not using any form of birthcontrol, but I am still breastfeeding and haven't had a period yet. We know that fertility increases after you have a baby, or babies, and we would be more than thrilled if I actually got pregnant on my own, even if the babies are a little closer together than ideal... If we don't get pregnant on our own, we feel very blessed with Lilly and Owen, and would probably not take any extreme measure to get pregnant again...

I don't know what the "perfect age gap" is....like the PP said, different strokes for different folks, but I think it would be hard to get back in baby mode if you had too large of a break...there is something to be said about bang, bang, bang

 

I don't think that you're crazy. Every family is different and it might be the right time for you. I always thought that 4 years in between kids would be ideal for our family. I got two minutes in between Kelly and Kaitlyn. Then we started TTC when the girls were 3. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage last Thanksgiving. But, I am pregnant again and there will be five years in between the girls and the new baby (almost to the day). I'm happy with this time span. This way the girls are more independent, they are really excited about the pregnancy. And, I will have some one on one time with the baby while the girls are at school. That's just what worked for us.

 

I don't think you're crazy. My DH and I are trying for another one now and the boys are 15 months old! We would like our kids close in ages as I'm from a family with a huge gap in between and I wasn't close with my siblings. Everyone has a different opinion and yeah it may be tough for the first couple of years but I am going for it anyway. I think about the long term more and with our ages we would like to have the last one or "two" soon!



Meg, Mother of Fraternal Twin Boys
Born June 10, 2006 @ 36.6 weeks!

*Stats*
Jacob William
Birth-7lbs & 20 inches long
1 Month-8lbs11oz & 22 inches long
2 Months-12lbs4oz & 22.5 inches long
3 Months-14lbs10oz & 23.75 inches long
4 Months-17lbs & 25.5 inches long
5 Months-18lbs3oz & 26.5 inches long
6 Months-19lbs1oz & 27.75 inches long
7 Months-20lbs2.5oz & 27.75 inches long
8 Months-21lbs15oz & 28.75 inches long
9 Months-23lbs & 29 inches long
10 Months-23lbs12oz & 29.75 inches long
11 Months-24lbs9.5oz & 30 inches long
12 Months-25lbs10oz & 31.25 inches long

Nathan Alan
Birth-5lbs7oz & 19.5 inches long
1 Month-7lbs7oz & 21 inches long
2 Months-10lbs7oz & 21.75 inches long
3 Months-12lbs10oz & 23.5 inches long
4 Months-14lbs3oz & 25.5 inches long
5 Months-15lbs12oz & 26.5 inches long
6 Months-16lbs5oz & 27.5 inches long
7 Months-17lbs2.5oz & 28 inches long
8 Months-18lbs7oz & 28.75 inches long
9 Months-19lbs5oz & 29.25 inches long
10 Months-19lbs6oz & 30 inches long
11 Months-20lbs10oz & 30.25 inches long
12 Months-21lbs4oz & 31.5 inches long

 

you are not crazy!!! IMO you should evaluate your feelings and make sure you are ready. I got the baby itch when my girls turned a year old, but I rationalized what I was feeling and knew I, DH, and my girls were not ready for another baby(s). I'm so glad I didn't act on that irrational feeling HOWEVER, I'm not saying don't ttc...just saying to make sure its right for you guys, and if it is, then have fun Its really just about whats right for your family. Good luck with your decision making.

 

I don't think you're crazy at all!

I get the urge to TTC more than I'd like to admit, but for our family, there's no way we could afford a 3rd baby right now. So we're not going to make any decisions until they turn 2, but probably TTC when they are closer to 3.

 

We got pregnant with our twins when Brett was only 15 months old so they would of been 2 years apart exactly but they are 20.5 months apart. I would have waited until he turned 2 if I had known how hard it would be with three little ones.