Am I crazy?

Hello! Well, it has finally approached. I dreaded the day . . . I think I am going back to work at the end of August. My twins were born on March 17th and will be 5 months when I would need to start back to work. I am a teacher and have had the summer off. Thank god!! I have gone back and forth on whether or not I should go back. We could use the extra money, but could be fine with DH's salary. But my school district is expecting me back. I feel like my girls are not going to know who I am and just think "who's this lady that feeds me only 2 times". I fear that they will be very close with DH and mother--in-law than me. My husband is a firefighter, and with his schedule, we would only need someone to watch them once or twice a week. And my mother-in-law is going to do those days. Is it normal to feel this way? And when does it get better??

Thanks,
Jen

 

I think it's very normal to feel that way, but don't worry about your kiddos not knowing you or loving you. I'm in a very similar situation. I went back to work part time when the boys were two months old and my mother-in-law watches them two days a week. It's a godsend because we don't have to pay for daycare, but I know the feeling of thinking they'll love her more than me. I was very worried about it at first, but I can tell you - they will always favor their mama and always know who you are and will love you so much!

Good luck with whatever you decide! :hug99:

 

i felt the same way ( my mom watches them) and i thought that they would never know me. NOT TRUE i figured one thing out it the 4 weeks i have been back. No matter how much you are away they know mommy when she comes through the door. They know your scent, face, hair, and voice... it will be ok... PROMISE! Take it from someone that just went through it. Its tuff at first but it has gooten easy and they are doing great.

 

I am the same way. I went back to work when they were 6 weeks old and my mom has them 1 day, his mom 3 days, and DH is home on Fridays till winter, I was also afraid that mine would love & want someone more than they do me & i still worry about it. It does get easier I promise. I get along with my mother in law but not being mean she kind of gets on my nerves. I do know though that she loves my babies and will take good care of them. so good luck and everything will be ok. missy

 

Just like the other ladies...they know you. Mine are in daycare full time as of 9 weeks old and I worried that they would "forget" me. They know when I walk through the door and get all excited (kicking those legs and laughing) when they hear my voice and then when they see me...it's all grins. They know mommy but it's hard not to worry.

 

Mine started daycare three weeks ago (at 4 months old) and one of the best parts of my day is going to pick them up and being greeted with their big smiles

Its hard not to worry, but for me going back to work has been a really good thing. Good luck! -Leighann

 

I went through the same thing. Back to work full time at 12 weeks and was so dreading it! But they do give mom big smiles when I get home! It gets easier! Trust me!

 

Been there, and I agree with the other posters. DH is a SAHD, and I work full time. Because I used so much leave time being on bed rest and then with them in the NICU, I had to go back after they had been home for just over two months. Since they're with DH all day, I figured they'd prefer him to me. Not so! They are equally comfortable and loving and smiley with both of us. Like others have said, they know me and are so excited when I get home each day.

A couple of tips that have helped me. I always make sure I spend some time with them both before work and after work. I am the one who gets them up in the morning and feeds them breakfast, and I'm the one who gets them ready for bed and feeds them dinner. So they start and end their day with me, and I start and end my day with them....which makes all the middle stuff so much easier to bear.

You'll do fine, and they'll do fine...good luck!

 

My guys are 10 months old and have been going to daycare since 12 weeks old. They spend a big portion of their day at "school" but believe me, they prefer their momma! Granted they do love their teachers (which is a VERY good thing) but they love MOMMA more. Kids are not like adults. They don't ration their love so that you get part and DH gets part and the caregivers get a part. They love with their whole being and TRUST me...they will always love Mommy the most. I can't explain why but they do.

I hope your start back to work is not nearly as bad as you imagine. Shannon

 

Just like the PPs stated. They will know you. It is hard to adjust in the beginning, being away from them, but it does get easier. And the best part is when you come home from work, and they are jumping with joy to see you.

 

i have a 4 yo and am expecting twins. my 4 yo has been in daycare since she was 3 mos. trust me, she knows who mommy is! no one can replace that bond and that relationship. dh gets to spend more time with her during the week b/c he has a flexible schedule and picks her up at 3, and i don't get home until 5 or 6. she loves dh, but guess who she wants when she gets hurt or scared -- mommy!

i think your fears are normal, but soon you'll realize that it does take a village to raise a child and you'll be happy they have so many people who love them and who they're comfortable with.

 

Thanks for all of your supportive comments! I feel like it will be ok to go back to work, but I know the beginning will be very difficult.

Jen

 

Kinda funny....our kids are not that far apart... Mine are going to be 6 mo old (I am also a teacher) when I go back to work at the end of August so I know how you feel.
I did this before with DD. It is really hard for the first month and I cried every morning on the way to school. Soon however, you get into a routine and you come to like the balance between work and play. It isnt an easy transition though and I am not excited about the day (thats coming soon!) that I have to do it.