Am I being weird about bedtime?

I would love to go out on a date with my hubby, like to a movie that is later but the boys go to bed between 730 and 8. We start their night time routine around 7 which involves playing in the cribs after bath time or wiping them down and getting lotion and jammies on. We feed them around 715ish and they go down pretty soon after and sleep through.

My problem is I don't want anyone else to do this yet! First I would like 2 people over, like my MIL and SIL or my Mom and Sis come over so they both can be held and cuddled before bed (I feed them in reclined high chairs during the day)....and this is only if I ever allow them to do it. I don't know..I just want to be the last one to cuddle them before they go to bed.

Am I being weird? When did you let someone else do your "night time routine"?

 

i am right there with you, but i think my issue is that i am a total control freak and don't think anyone can do it as well as me... it is obviously something i am going to have to get over, but i'm just not ready yet... i have let my MIL and my mom babysit after they were in bed though, and that was really nice. it felt so good to get out of the house with DH.

 

we let DH's mom and sister put the boys to bed one night when they were in town. but that was when they were 7 months. prior to that we did the bedtime routine ourselves if someone was going to watch them, and we went out after they were down for the night.

we still don't have a babysitter, though. so i guess MIL and SIL are the only people we've actually trusted with the task. and that was fairly recently.

however i should say my reluctance has been more about thinking it'll be too stressful for the babysitter to get both boys to bed at the same time, because they can get pretty cranky when they see the bedtime bottle and suddenly they're like OMG I'M SO HUNGRY when they were fine the moment before. so it's less about being confident that someone else can put them to bed, and more about being worried that this new person will stress out and be overwhelmed.

 

I totally understand, having some control issues myself. I always like to be the one to tuck the kids into bed at night. I guess you just need to find that balance that works for you between being there for bed & having some time alone with your husband, which is equally important. You guys need the time away sometimes. When mine were little we started by going out after bedtime. Maybe a movie or a late dinner or meeting friends for a coffee or a drink. Now, we go out whenever & I have realized that Grandma loves them just as much as I do & is perfectly capable of putting them to bed at night. :hug:

 

Yeah I guess it is a control issue as well. I mean if there are 2 people here (it will always be family) they are all capable of putting them to bed....its just me not wanting them to if that makes sense. We have had "date nights" where we go out to dinner earlier and do some grocery shopping before bedtime and we did go out one time after they were in bed and my mom came over. I just need to get to the point of asking 2 people to come to help get them ready for bed so we can go out at "normal" times I'm just glad to know I'm not being weird...DH is in the same boat as me so its not even like I will get a nudge in that direction from him. What can we say....we love cuddling them

 

QUOTE(MrsWright @ Jun 27 2009, 10:09 AM) [snapback]1371275[/snapback]
I'm just glad to know I'm not being weird...DH is in the same boat as me so its not even like I will get a nudge in that direction from him. What can we say....we love cuddling them


Not weird at all. :hug: And cuddle them while you can, they grow up way to fast!

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. The first time I had someone else do it was SO hard. And that was just my husband! Then we had his work holiday party and I had to leave before bedtime AND leave them with a sitter. She'd watched them before, but when she was there the last time she and I put them down together. This time she was all on her own. I was freaking out and dying for her to call me as requested to let me know they were asleep. Finally she did and all was well. As it turns out, she did everything differently from the way I did, but you know what? It didn't matter. They went to sleep. It's kind of a crushing blow to find out that your "perfect" routine really doesn't matter, so prepare yourself for that!! But do let someone else do it soon! It's very freeing.

 

No, not weird(or maybe I am too!). I like being home at night to put the kids to bed.

 

Maybe you could do a late dinner and movie. Or maybe just movie and dessert. My DH and I went to a concert when the boys were about 6 months but we didn't leave till they went to bed and got home just before their nighttime feeding. I have only left my boys with my parents (when they were little) and my ILs (both MIL and FIL) 3 times in their 21 months. It's not that I wouldn't like to get away more, I just LOVE putting them to bed!

 

Okay I personally think I am a control freak over anyone doing anything with my babies! I tend to watch very carefully when other people do things. However if I see they are capible I back off a little. However I've never had anyone do the bedtime routine without us. Both of my parents have assisted with the bedtime routine, but we were always there with them. My mom is currently staying here with us for a month and is urging my DH and I to go to the movies. I know we should take her up on the offer, however I don't know how I feel about missing bedtime. I like doing bedtime. I guess we could always try an afternoon movie on the weekends if we wanted to!

 

Nope, you are fine! I did it once when they were about 5 months old....it went ok but then tried again when they were 9 months old and my dd cried so hard she threw up since it wasn't me putting her to bed. Ever since then we go out to dinner a lot, at least 2x a month and always after they are in bed, about 730, 740....

 

I work outside the home, so I really cherish every waking moment with the boys. I've only managed to get out for the evening twice with DH since they've been born. I just feel too guilty spending those hours away from them!

And I agree, I have a hard time letting someone else do their nightly bed routine. The last time we went out the sitter said they cried for a looooong time.

But we do need to get away sometime. Even if DH and do spend the entire night out talking about the boys.

 

Do your babies see your family a lot? I ask because my mom has been around them a lot since they were born. She is the only person I trust to leave them with. I even let her take them overnight when they were a few months old. It was so hard, but now I'm so glad I did. My girls love Grammy and Grampy and love to go to their house and stay over. They just had them for 2 nights over the weekend. I realize I am so lucky to have someone willing to watch them and keep them overnight. Not everyone does. It has given us so much freedom to do things. I am a total control freak, so I know how hard it is to let go. I look back and laugh at how weird I was. It is so important to be able to have time for you and dh. It is hard to let someone else take over, but it's so worth it. I would go for it and see how it goes. You can call and check on them a million times if you want. You want them to get use to having someone else watch them or you'll never be able to leave them without them crying and you feeling guilty. Good luck.