Am I being unreasonable about our Thanksgiving travel plans?

So, this is the year that our Thanksgiving is scheduled to be at my cousin's house - which is a 5 hour drive (and with the babies will take us, most likely, 6.5 hours - my 3 hour drive to my parents' house takes 4.5 hours). If we were going for the entire 4 days - I would make the drive, no question. But we would have to leave Thanksgiving morning around 9a.m. - be on the road for 6.5 hours - spend the night and then turn around Friday morning, load up and make the 6.5 hour trip back to our house. We have another family get together 1 hour away from home on Saturday.

We have been planning on making the trip - but as it gets closer, I just can't bring myself to feel okay about it. I know the babies will be totally out of whack - they won't sleep while driving, they rarely sleep when I'm making the 3 hour (4.5 hour including stops) drive to my parents' house.

So, I told my mom that I just didn't think we would be able to make it to my cousin's this year. 13 hours on the road in a 24 hour period just seems like too much to expect out of two 10-month-olds and a 4-year-old. Am I being unreasonable? Am I being selfish? I feel horrible - I was really, really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year - we missed it last year b/c I was 28 weeks pregnant and not allowed to travel further than 1 hour from my hospital.

Guess I'm just curious if others feel like I'm being unreasonable or if you twin mommas would have made the same decision. These are the times I feel like my family just doesn't really "get it". When I told my mom, she says "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I was also thinking that your cousins probably won't be able to make it down for older DS' b-day party next summer b/c they'll have a 5.5 month old and a 3.5 year old".

I'd make the awful drive to my cousin's if we just had 1 baby - it would suck, the ONE baby would be fussy and unhappy, he/she probably wouldn't sleep well and would be out of whack for a few days - but it would be ONE baby. Two babies are an entirely different thing - I'm only 1 mommy!

Please be honest, I want to know if I'm being selfish/unreasonable.
Thanks!

 

No, I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. I wouldnt want to do that drive now and my boys are almost 2. I think the kicker is just only staying for less than 24 hours. That is a ton of stuff to pack for one night. But that is just me.

 

It sounds like a lot of driving for such a short period of time. I agree that if you were able to spend a couple of days it wouldn't be so bad.

 

No you are not being unreasonable at all. That is a long drive for such a short amount of time. I wouldn't do it.

Dianna

 

Is your parents house on the way to your cousins? Could you travel to your parents on Wednesday afternoon? This way you would be cutting the drive down into two days.

I was very lucky, my girls are good in the car, so drives don't take us any longer.

 

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! Only you know what works best for your family and children. My kids are pretty good in the car but we have not made any road trips longer then an hour, so I am not sure how patient they would be. You can always tell the family that you will be there next year, the twins will be older and might handle such a long drive better. I would hope that they would understand, I agree with you though, people without twins usually just don't get it because they have not lived it.

 

QUOTE(ljcrochet @ Nov 15 2008, 10:01 AM) [snapback]1071457[/snapback]
Is your parents house on the way to your cousins? Could you travel to your parents on Wednesday afternoon? This way you would be cutting the drive down into two days.

I was very lucky, my girls are good in the car, so drives don't take us any longer.



I wish we could do it this way. Thanks for the suggestion. I had considered it, but here is what our schedule would look like if we left on Wednesday. It just seems like such a hassle and a lot for 3 young kids.

My DH does not get home til 4:00 on Wed - so by the time we'd leave it would be 4:30/5:00 - then it would take us 4.5 hours (since we would have to stop to feed them around 6:30) and we'd get to my parents' house about 9:00. Then we'd have to wake up and leave my parents' house by 9 a.m. to make the drive to my cousin's house (about 2 hours), stay for 6 or so hours, make the 2 hour drive back to my parents, go to sleep, wake up and make the 4.5 hour trip back to our house on Friday morning. :blink: I just cannot figure out a way to make it work.

Thank you for the idea!

 

I would not have done it. Not for money. The first year with twins just requires exceptions to what one would usually do. I think for the whole first 18 months we only visited my parents (90 minutes away) twice, and once was because it was winter and we had a power outage. The rest of the time, they came to us. (We normally see them once a month, taking turns as to who visits.)

 

Nope - not unreasonable - for such a short period of time you are there - too much - I wouldn't do it.

 

i personally wouldn't do it. like pp said, that's a lot of stuff to pack for such a short period of time.

 

No I don´t think you´re being unreasonable at all. I dont even fancy doing the 1.5hrs drive to my ILs in a 24-hr period so dont feel bad at all, you have 2 babies. Im sure the family will understand!

 

I just canceled my trip today too as I was seriously dreading making the 6 hour drive with the babies...and I was going to stay for a week! It's too much of an effort, and the babies would rather be at home, so that's what made my decision. I was going for me, so I could see my friends and relatives, and I can wait until next year. The babies come first!

 

Nope not a bit! There will be plenty of other Thanksgivings where you'll be better able to travel. I hope they're understanding, and if they aren't, oh well!

 

Can you blow off your Saturday thing and stay 4 days?

 

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I don't think I would be able to handle that.

 

I think I would say no! We're probably going to drive 5 hours each way for Christmas but we'll stay 2 days. I don't really want to but the only one of dh's brothers who hasn't seen the babies will be there so dh wants us to go... Not looking forward to it!

 

No way are you being unreasonable! You could not pay me enough to undertake that kind of trip - even now. Two babies (or toddlers) are just a completely different ball game.

 

Thanks everyone! You've definitely reassured me that I am not being unreasonable!

I called my mom and my cousin yesterday to let them know - and much to my pleasant surprise - they are going to ask the rest of the family if they mind having Thanksgiving at my parents' house (a 3 hour drive - turned 4ish if we have to stop) instead of my cousin's house. I can handle that a bit better!