Am I asking too much?

Hey everyone,

This week I have been a single parent. My husband has had tae kwon do camp all week so he has been getting home at 10:30 every night. This morning he said, "Man, I have so much to do tonight. I have to mow the yard, work on the car, etc. etc. etc." I was hoping he would help watch the kids tonight so I could get a little break - a walk without the kids, work on the laundry, clean the house, just spend 30 minutes to let my brain go.

The things he needs to do need to be done - it is not like I am mad at him for wanting to do them - I just was hoping tonight he could help with the kids. What do you guys think?

Angel

 

I couldn't agree more! You DO need a break just to let your mind go. Sometimes I'll even volunteer to do some of the things my DH "needs" to get done so that I can just get out of the house and give him some alone time with the kiddos. Mowing the lawn is a great mental escape for me. But, if that isn't your cup-of-tea, I would just let him know that those things can wait--at least 30 minutes. I had a 3 hour break yesterday and came back feeling like a whole new mommy. There is something to be said for mini mental vacations--you deserve it

 

I think you deserve a minumum of 30 minutes of peace.
It does sound like he has things to do as opposed to frivolous, but I'm sure he can squeeze half and hour for you.

 

QUOTE(knorts @ Jun 29 2007, 03:22 PM) [snapback]312115[/snapback]
I couldn't agree more! You DO need a break just to let your mind go. Sometimes I'll even volunteer to do some of the things my DH "needs" to get done so that I can just get out of the house and give him some alone time with the kiddos. Mowing the lawn is a great mental escape for me. But, if that isn't your cup-of-tea, I would just let him know that those things can wait--at least 30 minutes. I had a 3 hour break yesterday and came back feeling like a whole new mommy. There is something to be said for mini mental vacations--you deserve it

Ditto. In fact, I mowed the yard today so DH could play with the boys and I could have a break.

 

You do deserve a break! I bet if you told DH he would be able to work something out for you!

 

No you aren't asking to much. You need a break as well. We all do.

:hug99:

 

Boy can I relate! I feel like I am being bitchy all the time, even though DH helps a lot around the house (does most of the cooking, helps put them to bed, occasionally watches them when I run an errand) but I have been physically exhausted from the grind and it makes me sooooo mad when he comes home and says he's soooo tired, when the reason he is tired is that he got up early to go swimming with his buddies.
Like the Tae Kwon Do camp, I think it's great that he is working out, and helps around the house, but he often disappears to play computer games too or to go work out.
I struggle with trying not to take for granted all the things he DOES for us (including going to work and earning our sole income every day) - and I think he does need a break from work, but on the other hand, wishing he would help *me* get more of a break.
I do have a sitter very occasionally, and someone to help clean the house, (so I totally shouldn't be complaining) but I am tired and weepy all of the time, which is not like me. I just wonder how much I have a right to ask for help when he is already doing so much. But I still feel resentful.

 

Well, did you ask him if he could spend an hour "in charge" so you could have a little break? He might not even know!! I have to remind myself everyday that DH cant read my mind and that 9 out of 10 times, if I just ask he will. HTH!

And no, its not too much to ask!

 

I agree with pp, maybe you could mow the lawn or some of the other stuff just to break up your day. I hope things settle down for you soon!

 

The house can wait. You need to have sanity to take care of little ones who won't be so little and demanding forever.

 

I don't think you are asking too much... but make sure you are asking! I think someone else posted this, but I also find that I might want something, but want my DH to know that I want it without asking him, and then I get upset if he doesn't know. I'm just setting myself up to be upset. Of course all the stuff your DH needs to do, needs to be done, but can it wait an hour while he hangs with the kiddos and you get a small break? Probably! And he might totally welcome the opportunity to put off mowing the lawn for a little while. Good luck! -Leighann

 

I agree totally with pp . . . just ask. We all want our DHs to read our minds; however, they can't! He's probably just thinking of his long "to do" list. We all let those weigh on us.