Am I a gigantic scrooge?

my kids have gotten 2 birthday party invitations from kids in their daycare class - and I really have no desire to send them!! The first one was from a girl they rarely saw (she goes on Tuesday's and Thursday's and my kids go MWF) so that wasn't horrible - now they received one from someone they DO go with and its a Saturday night from 6-8 at ChuckECheese...first of all I think its a really BAD idea to send a bunch of 3 year olds to ChuckECheese (its all video games)...second my kids don't eat pizza and third of all its a SATURDAY EVENING!! Why can't they do this in the afternoon??

also too I didn't plan on having "class" parties for a while - I can't imagine 12 toddlers running around anywhere with minimal supervision - I have a hard enough time disciplining my 2 I can't imagine running around after 10 more!! Thats why I pay the daycare LOL!

anyway I'm now starting to feel "peer pressure" to have one...and I'm terrified!

so am I depriving my kids of something wonderful or am I just practical?

 

i don't know ... mine are a year younger than yours ... so I'm not sure how different they are. Will your kids know they didn't go and be sad? We've only gotten one birthday invite from a daycare classmate ... and it started at 6pm, and they lived about a half hour away. My kids go to bed between 7-730pm, so it was a no-brainer for us that they couldn't go. But they are also at an age where they didn't even know they were invited ... it's not like the kids would talk about it and they would be so upset that mommy didn't take them.

We do everything for our kids ... sometimes we gotta do things that are convenient for us! :lol: Nah, you're not a Scrooge.

 

Well, I say you are not a scrooge at all! That is late for a party. There is no need to send them if you don't feel comfortable. And they aren't really going to remember a big party at this age, anyway. Except for the stories and pictures. So, don't worry about it, they will be just fine and you aren't depriving them of anything!

 

I agree w/ PP's. You are not a scrooge. The party should be in the afternoon. Most kids that age have a bed time between 7-8. Why would anyone have a party during those hours? Crazy!

 

No, you are not a scrooge. The timing of the party seems a bit late for a 3 yr old's birthday party?? I would have not went either and politely declined. I know my kids are winding down about 6:30 everynight. I am much more go with the flow this year then I would have ever been last year. Age 1-3 I was a schedule nut so, I think you are right..,

 

I find that very late for a kids party!! 6-8 will have all kinds of BIGGER KIDS at CEC on a SATURDAY?!

ig: <--------------That's when my 4 yr. olds would get to go to Chuck's on a SAT. night!! :nea:

If you are a scrooge, add me to the list! If you are concerned about the "relationship" and this is someone you want to do playdates with over summer, then I would send a small gift to school and give it to her at the end of the day. (IMO you can get away with one gift since you aren't going to the party!) You are just on the brink of 3! It's SO not worth it to me! :hug:

 

I do'’t think you're being a scrooge at all - why would you want your kids to go given the reasons you stated. Don't worry about it, there will be PLENTY of other parties to go to.

 

there really isn't a "relationship" there - and the daycare doesn't give the invites to the kids - the teachers put them in their cubbies to take home so I don't think the kids will even realize they missed something...but I may send a gift to school the Monday morning after...

 

QUOTE(AmynTony @ Apr 14 2009, 07:39 AM) [snapback]1272237[/snapback]
there really isn't a "relationship" there - and the daycare doesn't give the invites to the kids - the teachers put them in their cubbies to take home so I don't think the kids will even realize they missed something...but I may send a gift to school the Monday morning after...

And I think that will be more than you need to do, but if you feel compelled then it's a really NICE thing to do!

(One gift we got that was not super expensive, but really fun was the GIANT coloring book pages and a small box of crayons!!)

 

Mine are 6 now and I miiiight let them go to a party that late on a weekend only. O did get invited by a classmate to a party starting at 6 p.m. on a school night. I said no. Mine go to bed at 7 because they have to be up by 6:30. At 3, no way would they have gone to a party that late, any night. You're not a scrooge. The time of day is odd for a preschool party.

 

I wouldn't go simply due to the day and time. I don't know that I would bring my almost 7 year olds to a party at Chuck E Cheese from 6-8 on a Sat. But, I do love having birthday parties for the boys. I have had one every year. That said, I think they have each been invited to 2 parties all this year. So, either most aren't having parties (which I think is the case), or all the girls are having girl only parties--there are about 7 boys in each boys' class, and 21 kids.


Do what you feel is best for you and your family. As for a gift, unless I am planning on attending a party, I don't do a gift. If I had planned on attending, but something happened that we couldn't (like a sick child), then I would send a gift.

 

We just went to our first non family/family friend or member of our playgroup (and this is normally at playgrp time anyway) last month. And it was one of the boys in their daycare. My two go three days a week so they do know the child. OH and my two will be five in June. My attitude is unless they are close to us they will not know. There is plenty of time for birthday parties. I think most care places have guidelines that you invite all or none to outside parties.

At the moment we are debating a bowling party on Sunday. It is for a set of twins that we used to see, but they are older and already in K so we actually maybe have seen them once or twice since their last birthday. But, we like the parents so we will probably go.

Oh, at this last party there was a set of three y/o twins and my friend and I (she also has twins) were appretiating where we were and how much more work it is at parties w/younger twins. They did enjoy it but, you feel like you were put through a marathon.

Also, Chuck e Cheeses is like baby crack as far as I am concerned. They have been a couple of times and it is just insane. So much noise, lights seriously, baby crack They did not focus and just bounces from one thing to another. Good luck with your choice aNd yes 6-8 is late. Mine are in bed by 8

 

I think it has nothing to do with being a scrooge - it's just not an appropriate party for your kids.

We did start having parties for ours when they were young, but they were just low-key, at our house, and were mostly for the kids our friends (as our kids didn't really have "friends" at that point).

This year they invited their whole class (all 10 other kids), and most came, but again, it was just at our house and they all played and then had cake. My big "scrooge" issue is that we insist on NO GIFTS. We'll see how long we can keep doing this before the kids revolt. This year we asked people to bring used clothing and toys to donate, and that worked well.

Rachel

 

I wouldn't go due to the time of the party and I wouldn't buy a gift if I wasn't attending the party.

 

You aren't a scrooge, Amy. There is no way I would take my two to CEC on a Saturday night at that time unless the birthday party was for someone we are very close to. Someone from daycare/preschool - no way. I think it's super nice of you to send a present if you want, but I wouldn't feel obligated to do it.

 

I kind of feel bad about this, but I've never had a "kid" party for my kids' birthday. First of all, their birthday is SO close to Christmas that I know it would be hard for the parents to work in another event at that time of year. But mostly, we have enough trouble planning for their family party! My family is huge and DH's is too, we try to keep it small but it's nearly impossible. They have their cousins and sometime a close friend or 2 at the party, but otherwise that's all we do. They always have a blast!

And, we are just about to decline our third birthday invite this year from preschool. We do have a true schedule conflict with this one, but there were others I just RSVP'd no for and never even told the kids about it. Our weekends are so precious and fleeting - I just can't sacrifice a beautiful Saturday afternoon for a preschool friend! I know, I'm terrible!

 

There are so many years to do those big school parties I wait until they are in kinder to start with those. I think you are being reasonable.

 

I also felt that peer pressure to have a party when my girls turned 3, and I wound up having it at Pump It Up. It wasn't that much more money than I would have spent to have a party at home, but it was soooo much easier, especially since there are 15 kids in their daycare class (plus assorted other family friends)! There was no way I wanted that many 3-year-olds rampaging through my house, especially in the winter.

I agree that a 3-year-old party at Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday night is a really bad idea. I like taking my kids to their friends' parties in general, but I would probably skip that one. We went to one at CEC on a Sunday morning and even that was pretty close to the limit of my tolerance.

FWIW, most of the kids at our daycare have had big parties for their 3rd b'day, but there are a few that haven't. It's big and exciting when someone does have one, and all the kids talk about it, but if someone doesn't have one, no one seems to notice or mind.

I also don't give gifts if we're not attending the party. Most of our daycare's parties are "no gifts" (just seems to be the tradition), which is great, but even if people do bring gifts, that's only if they actually come to the party.

 

I think it's fine to decline that one, citing bedtime reasons. There is no way on earth I would go to that either.

 

What a meanie you are Amy. :laughing: I'm kidding. :hug: Like others have said, it would have to be someone really close to us for me to take these two to CEC at that time. And even then I might debate it because that place (or at least the one by us) is crazy during the weekends. I think you wanting to send a gift on Monday is very nice. :good: Oh and if you weren't planning on doing a "friends" party, I think you shouldn't do it. :hug:

 

QUOTE(AmynTony @ Apr 14 2009, 08:27 AM) [snapback]1272148[/snapback]
Saturday night from 6-8 at ChuckECheese

:shok: Are you kidding me?!?! I ditto pp's, definitely say no.


QUOTE(AmynTony @ Apr 14 2009, 08:27 AM) [snapback]1272148[/snapback]
anyway I'm now starting to feel "peer pressure" to have one...and I'm terrified!

so am I depriving my kids of something wonderful or am I just practical?

Don't feel the peer pressure at all. :hug: You do what's best for you guys. I have friend who has a 5 and 10 y.o. and just in the past couple of years just started kids parties. I say, to each his own. :good:

 

I think its a majority- 6-8pm on a Sat night at CEC for 3 year olds = no reason to feel guilty about declining.

 

I too would probably decline, mainly due to the time.

We recently got invited to a CEC party on a Sat afternoon by a daycare classmate and my 3 yo did attend and have fun, but it was pretty chaotic there. That's the only daycare party invitation we've gotten so far. We decided to hold off at least another year before inviting kid friends to a big party. There will be plenty of time for that kind of madness when your children actually have more of an opinion and want certain things.

 

I didn't read the other responses but I just wanted to say you aren't being a scrooge I am worse than you. My kids will not be having any other kids at their parties except for family for atleast two or three more years. We always have family but until they make real friends and get to know the kids better I am happy with family only. As for going to parties my girls have gone to 2 of them in preschool and then I decided no more parties for a while until they have real friends and not just lets invite all the kids in the class even if they don't really play with each other. My girls are also in different classes so that's a lot of parties and we just can't afford that either. So when they have real friends then they will be able to go to maybe 3 parties or less a year.

 

Not a scrooge- I wouldn't send my kids to a party so late in the evening and at Chuck E. Cheese. We have yet to visit that place as a family.

 

There's not a whole lot at Chuck E. Cheese's for 3-year-olds, anyway. I just took my 5-year-old for a party there (at 2pm, mind you, not 6-8pm! What are they thinking? ) -- and many of the games are too much even for that age.

I think you're justified in politely declining.

It's just odd -- my kids stay up late and wake up late, so that party time would work for us -- but I'm fully aware that most others kids are on an earlier schedule. Can't imagine why those parents thought that was good timing!

 

I wouldn't we took the girls to their cousin's b-bay last dec at cc and it was horrible. they wanted to play the game but didn't understand and it was crazy busy