am i a bad SAHM because i feel this way? kinda long, sorry

There are some days (like yesterday and today) where I feel so completely bored out of my mind that I just want to cry. I love my girls and I know I made the right decision to stay with them cause I would have died if some strangers got to see all the firsts, first, kwim? I love them so so much but the monotony (sp?)of being home with them with the weather so freakin cold that I don't feel they should be out is driving me crazy. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I can't wait sometimes for their naps so that I can have some ME time but that is spent either doing bottles, baby laundry or catching a snooze myself if i'm lucky. I feel like from the time I get up with them that I'm looking at the clock to see if it's time to put them down for a nap. I know that is so horrible! I don't feel this way everyday. Usually I get together with my friend and her baby once or twice a week but this week it just didn't work out for us and the weather has been like -10 with the wind. I guess it's winter that I really hate. DH and I have decided to move to Puerto Rico within the next 2 years to be closer to his family (since I have pretty much ONLY my father around) and I think it will be a better quality of life for the girls. There's just nothing to do with them so young in this cold weather. Go to my friends or to the mall and let's face it, going to the mall just isn't as fun when you have no mulah to blow. sorry, I don't mean to moan and groan. I just needed to vent. I just feel sad for some stupid reason and I know I should be happy and grateful.

 

There are some days (like yesterday and today) where I feel so completely bored out of my mind that I just want to cry. I love my girls and I know I made the right decision to stay with them cause I would have died if some strangers got to see all the firsts, first, kwim? I love them so so much but the monotony (sp?)of being home with them with the weather so freakin cold that I don't feel they should be out is driving me crazy. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I can't wait sometimes for their naps so that I can have some ME time but that is spent either doing bottles, baby laundry or catching a snooze myself if i'm lucky. I feel like from the time I get up with them that I'm looking at the clock to see if it's time to put them down for a nap. I know that is so horrible! I don't feel this way everyday. Usually I get together with my friend and her baby once or twice a week but this week it just didn't work out for us and the weather has been like -10 with the wind. I guess it's winter that I really hate. DH and I have decided to move to Puerto Rico within the next 2 years to be closer to his family (since I have pretty much ONLY my father around) and I think it will be a better quality of life for the girls. There's just nothing to do with them so young in this cold weather. Go to my friends or to the mall and let's face it, going to the mall just isn't as fun when you have no mulah to blow. sorry, I don't mean to moan and groan. I just needed to vent. I just feel sad for some stupid reason and I know I should be happy and grateful.

 

What you are feeling is sooooo completely normal and natural. Yes we love our children but we have no adult interaction, we listen to babies ALL day long. Its wonderful and boring sometimes too. I would think you were wierd if you didnt feel like that on occation

 

Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the monotony can really get to me too! And sometimes I wonder if I should be spending more quality time with them playing.

Maybe trying a new hobby might make you feel like you're getting a little escape. Or gettiing lost in a book for a few minutes each day? I know there's not a lot of extra time, which never ceases to amaze me how much work we do being SAHM's.

I take the girls out for a drive and go to Dunkin Donuts on the days I ddon't have my sitter -just the little time out in the car does us all good.
Hang in there....

 

Totally normal. I love my children more than anything but there are days when I am praying they will go down and sleep as long as possible! You should hear me at night around bedtime. I am counting down the minutes. Don't feel bad... you are a great mom!

 

I can totally sympathize with the cold weather - it was 25 below here today with the wind chill AND we got 4 inches of snow! My girls aren't mobile yet, which makes my days even more boring I think. I can't for the nice weather and for them to start crawling and walking! Don't feel bad about being bored, every SAHM feels that way.

 

Don't feel bad at all. My girls are at an age where they are much more interactive and I even have Paul here with me all day and I still feel that way sometimes. I often pack the girls into the car just to drive with Paul to the post office so that we can get out a little bit.

 

I feel the same way you do sometimes. It's good to know that other SAHMs go through this too and that you're not alone. HTH!

 

That sounds perfectly normal to me, I get REALLY bored sometimes. I start a new hobby, or read a book, or watch an educational program (so my grey matter doesn't rot!). I think staying out of a rut is the biggest challenge of SAHMing.

 

I just want to say that I empathize with the weather, it was almost 40 below with the windchill today here, schools closed and everything the past two days, and it's just miserable!!! I was just thinking that it sucks having these babies in the wintertime, I can't take them for walks or to the park or the lake or anything, we are just stuck inside this place. Hey, at least you HAVE naptimes, mine aren't on a schedule yet so I am overtired, cranky, bored, and constantly dealing with a baby all day long!!!

Can't wait for spring!~!!

 

quote:
Originally posted by jennjenn770:
I feel the same way you do sometimes. It's good to know that other SAHMs go through this too and that you're not alone. HTH!


I am in the same situation as well. It is nice to know I am not alone.

 

Oh you are not a bad mum for thinking that! I feel the same way sometimes. I worked 6 years full time without a break and now sitting at home with my babies i do the same thing! Like you i have friends with babies around the same age and i try to meet up once a week just to get out of the house. Especially when you or them are having a bad day there is sometimes i count the hours untill they go to bed so i can get some peace! So big to you and dont worry i think most people feel the same sometimes x

 

Holy cow I am so jealous that you are able to be bored! I wish I could have one solid day of boredom. You are SO not a bad mother for feeling that way. My guess is it's the weather...it's freezing here, too and I had to cancel meeting a friend at the mall yesterday...I was so bummed! I think you will get more enjoyment again once the weather warms up enough to get out and about. Vent to us anytime!

 

I do love being at home with the kids and would not wish to go back to work but...
I am so looking forward to spring!! when we can get out a little more
if only to sit on the swing in the yard and bird watch!!
I have gotten to the point that every doctors appointment we have is like a vacation! I look forward to them HOW CRAZY IS THAT!!!??!!!

 

You are not a bad mom at all. In fact, I have been feeling like the worst mom on the planet because most of the moms on TS sound like they are loving being at home - even though it is really hard work. I have been beating myself up for not feeling as happy as I should because I have been blessed with these healthy beautiful boys.

It's cold here too and I really have a hard time with getting the stupid snowsuits into the car seats. So by the time the boys are loaded up, my adventure out has turned into a stress-fest!

I don't have any answers for you, but maybe during naps if you took a bit of time for yourself (read, watch trashy tv, whatever) and then caught up on things at night, your day wouldn't feel so long??

HTH!

 

Well if you are a bad mom, then I am too!!! I feel like that sometimes, especially now that it is winter. It isn't worth all the work of getting them bundled up and going out only to be out for a few minutes...not to mention that they are sooo heavy in the carseats and I am wimp! I know how you feel and I think {HOPE!} that it is normal. Puerto Rico sounds sooo nice around now, I LOVE it there! It's kinda good to hear that other sahm's feel this way...takes a little of the guilt away!

 

Thank you all for your responses. It's good to know that boredom comes with the territory. I guess most people get bored with their job at some point no matter what job they have. I have decided to go to BRU today to get some formula and some new toys for the girls. I guess just knowing that I am going to get out today makes me feel so much happier. I know that I will be much better when the weather gets warmer. There is just so much more to do then: the zoo, the beach, the park, the lake to feed the ducks, the aqarium, walks outside, walk to the supermarket, and on and on. Thanks again all and have a fantastic day!

 

I could have written this post yesterday. It was so cold I decided not to go out and I could have died by the end of the day, I was so wiped out from keeping the girls entertained and BORED from staring at the same walls all day. Thankfully, not every day is like this, and I would much rather be at home with my girls than back at my old job, where I dealt with far worse BS on a more regular basis! So, you are not a bad sahm. I think we all feel like that from time to time and it's just part of the job.

 

I have lots of days that I feel the same way.......Its been so cold here in Illinois all winter that I haven't hardly been out at all and my husband coaches high school basketball and football in the winters so I'm always by myself in the evenings as well. I have days were I'm absolutely sad......I love my kids but it can be hard when you feel so trapped all the time. I'm glad I find this forum....that way I know its normal to feel this way at times.

 

You sound pretty normal. It's on those days that I just get out! I have a season pass to the zoo (not expensive and good for a YEAR!) and when the weather is nice (like yesterday) I just load up and head out! Of course with some of the super freezing temps you are just hosed!

Can you start or attend a playgroup? That might break up the monotony! I have a playgroup that I attend every once in a while and plan to do more of that now that I am no longer watching my nephew at home anymore.

Good luck!! Some days will be better than others! Hit the crafts and scrappin' forums and start a digi scrap book!

 

Don't beat yourself up, I think all SAHMs feel that way from time to time. I watch the clock sometimes too, it's only normal to want some time for yourself. One thing I've been able to do that helps me stay sane is that I get up really early to get my shower and then do ANY and ALL housework for the day. That includes bottle washing, formula making, laundry etc. When (if) the girls go down for naps that is my time to read or jump on the computer and I don't have to do cruddy housework. Some days all I get is 30 minutes but that's better than nothing.

 

Boring is not the problem here! With the girls and 5 dogs, we have an active household. I really dont like to go out alone with my girls so most of the time we are home alone, just the 3 of us. I have never gotten bored with them. We always find something to do, play games, read books, play with the dogs, etc. We will be having a litter of kittens any day now, so that will definately be some fun!! The one thing that does drive me crazy is the lack of adult interaction. Even when there are other adults around, all we talk about is the kids. My mother just retired so I am so excited for the weather to warm up. I miss our evening walks around the neighborhood...

I dont think you are wrong at all in how you feel. Being a SAHM is more then job and with twins, it is even harder. I miss working, but I was off of work 2 years before the girls were born b/c of medical problems so I was already kind of use to being home alone during the day.

 

I am not a SAHM but as a teacher I am home all summer. After about 2 weeks I was BORED out of my gourd. Not that there wasn't enough to do...just that none of it was exactly intellectually stimulating, I used to keep telemarketers on the phone just to talk to an adult!

I thin it is totally normal to feel this way, it doesn't make you a bad mom, it just means you have to find a new approach... maybe some of the "recharging" ideas some of the people have provided will help??

I like the idea of a 'field trip' to a new room to play in!

 

It is so refreshing to read other people struggling with the sahm thing. I am beginning to wonder if I am dealing with some chemical inbalance or post partum stuff because my frustration level and anxiety is at the peak it was when they first came home.For awhile it was smooth sailing and I was able to go with the flow with them but now I am weepy more often, anxious, cranky, etc. I am going back to the work world after May because I graduate and am looking forward to it but I will miss them.I feel bad for feeling this way to because these moments are so precious but oh my god these two are so much work and its just crazy sometimes. I am glad I have this place to vent to others who understand. Let's all say a prayer for each other for strength and patience

Karen

 

I am not a SAHM either but sweetie, you are totally normal! We all feel that way from time to time (some times its every day for me!). Even though I get out of the house for work and to do errands, I do still feel like the entire time I am home all I do is fix the bottles, do housework, make dinners etc etc. Its overwhelming and still lonely. There are months that go by before I see any of my friends esp. playgroup friends with all our older children's crazy schedules!

Glad you had a better day today

 

No it isn't bad that you feel that way, I felt that way as well, that is why I went back to work part time... to just get out. Of course, when I went back I began missing them even more than I liked getting out, LOL

But, it is normal to feel that way, do not be hard on yourself.