alright, i need some insight from all you lovely mamas

alright so i think i figured out a key to why theyre waking up every 3 hours at night. they eat every 4 hours during the day! lol okay so how do i fix that? they refuse the bottle every 3 hours, or sleep through the 3 hour mark. theyre napping 2-3 hours during the day, im gonna cut it off at 2 hours and wake them up. sometimes its only 45 min and then the whole day is thrown off. i try to keep them awake for 2 hours at a time. we play, "talk", watch the mobile, tv, sing, etc. the lights are bright and the noise level is decent. i feel so lost like my life is out of control. i need a schedule for ME! any ideas ladies?

 

Can you increase the amount that they eat at each feeding? How many ounces are they eating per day? Do you follow a night time routine each night?

 

I would try putting them down 30 min earlier for their naps. I did a 3 hrs schedule. So it was 9am wake, eat, play, 1030 put down for nap. Wake them at 12. etc

Some days I did have a hard time getting them to wake up. So I did things like use cold wash cloths or strip them down naked to get them to wake up. You can try to add another ounce to the bottle or if you;re BF, have them nurse from both sides every feeding. This will increase their intake, and hopefully they'll be getting enough calories so they're not waking at night b/c of hunger.

You can always try 3.5 hrs schedule. As far as making a schedule goes, there used to be a sticky in this forum (mayb still is). All of us with "older" twins contributed over the months and they made a log of schedules at various ages. Also there's a wonderful book called Good Night Sleep tight by Kim West which give sleep advice and great daytime schedules for various ages. worth getting a copy or sharing a copy with a friend or checking out from the library.

To get a schedule for yourself: plan one "housework" chore to do during their morning nap. Rest during one afternoon nap, then plan one thing for the evening when DH is home. Don't try to do too much in one day, like grocery shopping AND Laundry.

Don't be too hard on yourself. 12 weeks isn't as magical as 12 lbs. Mine didn't sleep thru till they were 6 months old. Maybe you need to count to 10 before going in at night, to make sure they're not just randomly making noise.

 

they eat 3-6oz at every feeding. dd doesnt even seem hungry til she hits the 4-5 hour mark, yet she wants to eat every 3 hours at night. i gave her a bottle just now and it had been 4 hours. she gagged and pushed it away, then finally took it but only drank 3oz. then 1/2 hour later took another 3 and fell asleep and is napping now. ds constantly refuses the bottle unless hes starving, but he has reflux issues so hes another story. dd will fall asleep 90% of the time on her own if i give her a paci. ds is a total pita and fights it, will only fall asleep in my arms walking the floor. ive left him to cry cuz for 5 min max cuz i needed a break from him and he just gets more and more worked up. lets just say i left to get my haircut 2 weeks ago and dh didnt know how to get him to sleep, and he cried for 1 1/2 hours til i got home and held him his "special" way. talk about high maintenance!!!

 

Are they up all night or just waking to eat and then going back to bed? What time to you put them down for the night? The only reason I ask is because if they are only waking once or twice between midnight and 6am at 3 months I think that is right where they should be. It stinks because you have to factor in the adjusted age for sleeping just like I did. It makes that milestone alot farther away because their brains have to mature for them to sleep longer. Now, if they would eat more during the day that might help but it might not make a difference at all. Mine did not STTN until they were 9 months and they were hungry for every bottle up until then and getting plenty during the day. They were well over 20 pounds at that point. So, it may just be something you need to ride out. Sorry I am sure that is not what you wanted to hear, but again JMHO.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Oct 24 2008, 03:03 PM) [snapback]1040691[/snapback]
Are they up all night or just waking to eat and then going back to bed? What time to you put them down for the night? The only reason I ask is because if they are only waking once or twice between midnight and 6am at 3 months I think that is right where they should be. It stinks because you have to factor in the adjusted age for sleeping just like I did. It makes that milestone alot farther away because their brains have to mature for them to sleep longer. Now, if they would eat more during the day that might help but it might not make a difference at all. Mine did not STTN until they were 9 months and they were hungry for every bottle up until then and getting plenty during the day. They were well over 20 pounds at that point. So, it may just be something you need to ride out. Sorry I am sure that is not what you wanted to hear, but again JMHO.


they usually just wake up and go back to sleep. i guess the reason im so frustrated is cuz they were going 4-6 hour stretches and now we're back to square one. the majority of the time theyre up around 4am and wont settle so i bring them into bed with me. i put them down between 7-8. i guess it is something i have to ride out, and accept its the way MY babies are and stop reading posts about sttn and cio cuz then i just feel crappy like mine should be doing it too. im so frustrated and feel like everything is spinning outta control. prolly just pms lol thanks for the help, and saying yours didnt sttn til 9 months, makes me feel like maybe im NOT doing something wrong and its just the way it is

 

QUOTE(cottoncandysky @ Oct 24 2008, 08:14 PM) [snapback]1040712[/snapback]
they usually just wake up and go back to sleep. i guess the reason im so frustrated is cuz they were going 4-6 hour stretches and now we're back to square one. the majority of the time theyre up around 4am and wont settle so i bring them into bed with me. i put them down between 7-8. i guess it is something i have to ride out, and accept its the way MY babies are and stop reading posts about sttn and cio cuz then i just feel crappy like mine should be doing it too. im so frustrated and feel like everything is spinning outta control. prolly just pms lol thanks for the help, and saying yours didnt sttn til 9 months, makes me feel like maybe im NOT doing something wrong and its just the way it is


Yes, its hard when you see others STTN or you want to do CIO because trust me I have been in your shoes and it aint fun or pretty. I used to cry all the time as to why they would not sleep. But they will and it will take time and eventually they will go longer and longer between feeds and then you will be giving the same advice to another new mom of preemie twins. I dont think you are doing anything wrong. You cant force them to eat, right? So hang in there and just realize that they will eventually sleep!! Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but they will.

 

thank you, you made me feel a lil better ive been near tears all day long over this junk!

 

At that age mine ate every 4 hours also... Nothing I could do, they refused to eat before the 4 hour mark, 3.5 hour if I was lucky... I wouldn't fight it, if they're not hungry, they're not hungry. At that age mine needed a nap after 1.5 hour though... Do they fuss a lot when it gets close to 2 hours? I think the better they sleep during the day, the better they sleep at night. In our case I would start decreasing the amount you give them at night... I know it helped us.

Also, I know it's easy to say... but try to relax about the whole schedule being off. Go with the flow. Around 4.5 months mine started the 45 minutes naps too, so I just decided to forget about my schedule and just go with the flow. If they're awake earlier, they're usually hungrier earlier too, so you might be able to give them the bottle earlier than the 4 hour mark. It's what happened with mine... Now I just make a loose routine of no matter when they wake up, bottle is between 2 and 3pm, and they need to go in their crib 2.5 hours later. Then I adjust after the next nap. It's made my life much less stressful.

 

We started feeding them at 6:00, 8:00 and then again at 11:00 to load them up on calories before we would all go to sleep. It did stretch the sleeping hours longer at night. They eventually dropped the 8:00 feeding and now we're doing well...up to 5 hours after we all go to bed. Just an idea!

 

thanks fran, im gonna try that today, we'll see what happens!!

 

HUGS! It is so draining and frustrating to be so sleep deprived. I don't know if I have any advice either but I can relate. I tried waking them during the day too but it seemed to backfire on me so I stopped. If they are usually going back to sleep okay after night feedings they probably need all that sleep during the day too. At 3 1/2 months mine were like clockwork waking at midnight and 3 or 4 and 6 or 7. This magically improved at 4 months, when they went down to one feeding (we also had just put them into their own room then) and then at 5 months they STTN. Then at 7 months my DD started waking around 12 or 1, so now I dreamfeed her at 10 (for my own sanity). She usually doesn't wake up in the night anymore and they usually are up at 5 for the day but it's much better. The more sleep you get, the more you crave though...I wonder if I'll ever feel like I am well rested again Take care...