Alone time?

Neither of my boys likes being alone, whether it's awake in his crib when the other one and I are downstairs, or even if one is in his highchair with me feeding him and the other is in his play area and can see us through the gate. Do you make a point to have time when each kid is totally by himself without a parent(in a safe area)? I came across this idea in Toddlerwise and I've been thinking about it. They need to learn that there doesn't always have to be another person in the room, but how soon?

 

My guys seek out their own alone time occasionally, but it's only been within the last few months that they started to do this. Usually Nate will wander off by himself to poop either in another room, or in their "cave" (an appliance box). Occasionally one of them will go into another room, and be very quiet, which makes me nervous. When I go and peek in on him, usually he'll be sitting in his chair "reading" a book or talking to a stuffed animal. :wub:

So I think that kids will naturally want to get away from everyone when they are ready. I give them safe opportunities to be out of my line-of-sight (though not out of earshot) so they can do their own thing.

 

Valerie, my DD needs her "me" time for when she poops, she hides in the corner of the dining room. Our living room,dining room and kitchen are all on the same floor, so if my two seek out their alone time one might be playing with the play kitchen in the kitchen and the other is drawing in the living room. I am finding the older that they get, the more they are comfortable doing their own thing at times. I do agree, when one or both is too quiet is when I get alarmed!

 

I don't do set alone times but like Nancy and Valerie mine will make their own alone time. It's so much fun watching them do different things!

 

I wouldn't force it. If your twins don't like to be alone, making them spend time without you will only stress them out. Children naturally learn to spend time by themselves, but that's an iterative process, so if they're not ready at 13 months, they'll probably be ready at 15 months or 20 months.

My girls didn't spend much time alone (or even together without an adult in the room) until they were 2ish. Now, at just a few weeks shy of 3, they love to spend time without parents nearby. Yesterday they read books to each other in their room for almost 1/2 hour, then came out and went to separate rooms to play alone for another 1/2 hour. So no parental involvement for an hour - and no issues.

 

My boys mostly like to play by themselves, i will occasionally see them playing together. but I am either in the room with them or in the next room but it is open with a gate so i can see them and vice versa.

 

For us it was a gradual thing and I left it up to them. This past Sunday my one son was downstairs watching Curious George while the other one was upstairs playing. I was on the main level cleaning up and just let them be.

The only time there is a fuss is when I would try to put my one son in bed when he was sick without putting the other in his crib. For some reason he can't sleep without his brother in the room. Or it could be that he thinks we're doing something without him.

Now that they are older, I can put on an Elmo dvd, leave the room and it's completly quiet for 50 minutes.