almost 2 fighting constantly and hitting/pushing other kids

Need your advice guys... B/g twins. 23 months. Perfect angels most of time but Push or swat away at each other whenever other is in ones space or near their toy. I have been doing time out, saying be gentle, nice, etc, and making offender kiss/hug victim after. Also major praise for sharing/being nice...Any other suggestions. This constant refereeing is driving me crazy...home all day w them other than gym....and they have started getting rough with other kids at gym daycare now. Son pushed little girl down today like he would his sister... I have been using 123 timeout...doesn't seem to be getting better. Is it just a phase? Singletons at gym don't seem as aggressive but maybe just because they haven't had twin to practice on way before daycare? How long does phase last? Please tell me it gets better.......any more suggestions for dealing w behavior?

 

It sounds like you are doing everything I would suggest. They do get better with this behavior but it never fully goes away (my twins at 3 still fight over toys from time to time) and only other thing I would suggest is either put the toy in dispute in time out or when they are being bad and it's not over a toy...take away privileges (the TV, putting a favorite toy in time out).
Hang in there!

 

I would agree with Nancy - right now it's just keep on with what you're doing. I would also agree with the toy time out. I tell my girls that if they can't find a way to play nicely with the toy, I'm going to put it away. Then I let them sort it out. Sometimes not micro-referring is good because it forces them to learn how to settle disputes themselves.

Also, the reality is that when toddlers play together there's going to be hitting & pushing. Even the most well behaved toddlers get to that point of frustration when having to share with other kids. As long as your son isn't pushing every kid, all the time, I wouldn't worry about it & just keep disciplining the action in the way you have been.

 

I agree with the PPs, and will also tell you something else we do. When there is hitting or pushing (even accidental or in jest) we say sternly "we don't push (hit, etc.), say you're sorry", and make the offender say sorry to his brother. Then we make the offender kiss the "victim" where he was hurt. This often diffuses the situation (at least by distracting them) and can go a long way toward soothing a possibly irate parent at the gym.

I also have to third the suggestion of the toy time out; we still use that A LOT and it's very effective.