all out meltdown in class

We did Kindermusik last semester, and the boys loved it - they are pretty shy and tentative by nature, but they never cried and eventually warmed up to it and started participating more and had lots of fun.

Then we took the summer off, and started back again last week. P started out the same as last time, a little shy and tentative, but okay. B has had all out meltdowns both weeks so far. It's as though he's scared of the class now, and he was never like this last semester. We stay with him throughout class, so it's not a separation thing. Yesterday, I just spent the whole time with him in the hallway, while DH did the class with P. He was fine in the hall, but every time I motioned to go back into the classroom, he lost it again.

He doesn't have sensory issues, because we listen to the same music at home and he loves it. He does have some stranger anxiety, but he's generally okay as long as we're with him. He's okay around other kids at the playground. It seems to be the structure of class that is causing him to meltdown, because he's tentative but okay until the class starts, and then he loses it. He's perfectly happy as soon as we leave class.

Any ideas, similar experiences, help?!

ETA: FWIW, he is not a tantrum thrower - I've never seen this behavior out of him before. His crying seems more scared/fearful than anything else - not mad or sad. I just feel so bad for him, because we're doing this activity for his benefit, yet it's apparently scary to him. Poor little guy (and mommy).

 

With the first class back after the break did he cry as soon as it started or was he ok for a little bit first?

The only thing I can think of is that something specific happened that scared him and now he is afraid it will happen again so he's freaking out.

I can't really think of anything to do but wait for it to get better (I know that's not much help, sorry). Maybe it would help if you sit right next to the door with him, so that you are in the room but not involved in the group so much. Also if he has a special comfort item you could let him bring it to the class. Or try inviting some friends round to your house and having a 'practice' class.

 

I agree that a comfort item might help, or some sort of other distraction while the class starts. To help get over whatever is setting him off when the class starts. But to force it for too long, may bring on more fears than he has now. Does the teacher have any suggestions?

 

Thanks for the ideas so far.

He was okay until about halfway through the first class, and we can't figure out what set him off. He didn't participate a lot, but he was at least not crying, until about halfway through. The song that was going when he lost it had a very deep man's voice, so I thought maybe that had something to do with it? But we listen to the same song at home, and it doesn't bother him. And he lost it right when class started the second week, but it was a different song entirely.

He's never really latched onto any kind of lovey, but I'll think on it and see if I can think of what might be good to bring. What he is attached to is books - maybe I could bring his favorite book and we can just sit in back and look at his book while they do class? Then when he's ready to participate, he can, and if he loses it, we can slip out again. (The only thing that worries me about that is that P is also really attached to books, so I don't want him thinking he can skip out on class to read his book, too - I want B to progress without P regressing!)

The teacher said she's trying to think of ideas too. She said she will start by having drums out at the beginning, before class starts - because we told her drums was his favorite activity last semester, and he has a drum he likes to play at home. She also said we could hang toward the back, or even in the hallway, and she would bring us out the various props/instruments that they were using, so I could do the activities with him outside of the regular classroom (you can still hear the music out there, it's just very quiet).

 

Joey was like this. We moved here when she was 18 months and went to Toddler Time every Friday without fail. For the first year, she was great. She participated and had a great time. Then she started to be all clingy and would cry. She wouldn't participate and glued herself to my lap. I could see not reason for her change of behavior. The routine stayed the same, and it didn't matter who led the group that day.

I think she's finally started to work herself out of the "funk" and participate more again. It just took time! I hope you find a solution that works for you!