aggressive boys?

Ds lately has really been pinching & hitting a lot. Not so much on dd, but on me! It's usually when he's mad & doesn't want to do something, like get buckled in his carseat. But it's also when he gets really excited about something....he hits! My face is literally covered right now in scratches & I just don't know what to do. If it's when he's excited about something, I try to gently remind him to be gentle. When he's mad, I think I just need to put him down & walk away.

I think the hard part for me is just realizing he doesn't mean to do it.....part of me feels like "does he hate me?" How do you deal with aggressiveness? These are my 1st kids; is this just normal boy behavior?

 

:hug99: It is very hard not to take it personally! I think you are handling it right when he is excited by teaching him to be gentle. But when he is upset, he is old enough to very sternly be told "hitting is not ok" or "scratching is not ok" or just "NO hitting" and "NO scratching" very firmly. But the biggest thing is that it's not a personal attack to you, it's just him expressing his anger and he needs to be taught what is an ok way to express it and what isn't an ok way.

 

So what way to express his anger should I offer as an alternative?? Just this morning again he got mad about something & bit his sister really hard on the shoulder. I gave him a time out & when he was done I showed him the bite mark; he said 'sorry' and gave her a kiss.

And he can be so tender other times! They were playing later & I heard him crying. Turned out he was trying to get the baby dolls that were stuck in the crib. I gave him the babies & he started tucking them in....kept saying "love you!" and kissing them! Soooooooo sweet.

I'm hoping as he learns to talk better some of this will pass.

 

My boys both have aggressive streaks as well. One ds, when angry, will scratch my face, the other sometimes hits me. I've tried to teach them alternatives like stomping their feet when mad, but this hasn't really sunk in yet.

They've been violent with each other for a long time now, and we've established several rules: "No biting", "No hitting", "No scratching", "No pulling hair", "No pushing"...the list goes on and on, sadly. Unfortunately, none of this has stopped them from doing these things - now one will bite the other then a moment later say "No biting!" very proudly. And often the victim will be the one to go to the other and say 'Sorry brother!'. :wacko:

Obviously I'm not the best person to give you advice, but if you find something that works, let me know!

 

Whenever I see a thread like this, my first thought is, how is his speech. It really sounds like he is acting out because he can't find any other way to express himself, and if that is the case, just telling him no, isn't going to make a difference.

Also, try to give him some time to transition between things. Like "in 5 min. we are leaving and you will get into your car seat". Then he knows what to expect and that should help to short circut some of the problems.