After school melt downs

When do they stop?!

I was very much expecting the girls to have a tough time after school. I've made sure to have nothing to do in the afternoons so we can just laze around the house. And that's been good. But the intensity of their melt downs is starting to wear thin. I'm hoping things will start to quiet down soon. Both for them but also for my own sanity.

Anyone else dealing with this? What have you found works for your family?

 

I've found that a few minutes of a "brain dump" as my DH calls it works for us. I usually let them veg for a few minutes with the TV. I know they've been sitting still and paying attention a lot at school, but it's almost like they need to just sit and not think for a few minutes to transition.

We don't them to do it for long, but maybe 15 or 20 minutes.

 

I have found a snack will help. Also we will do "easy" stuff first, like, since mine were good readers, we would start with reading to wind down. I found if I gave them too much time afterschool, before starting homework, getting it done was a problem. Mine have also been know to run laps around the house!

 

I am dealing with this!

It's a work in progress but what we are implementing is first change out of their uniforms, then snack and drink. Lastly, they are required to sit next to me with classical music on while I read 1 story/kid; then quiet reading time on their own for about 15 minutes. Sometimes they fight me on this but it's getting better and I want to set this up as an after school habit so I plug on. After reading time is done they can watch TV or play quietly.

I tried TV when we got home but mine were trying too hard to stay awake - running around, jumping, etc.

 

What has worked for us depended on age. When they were little, a snack was a must. Then Timothy just needed to go run around for a bit. Sarah needed to go up to her room, close the door, and curl up in her bed with a book. She's an introvert and is just done with people at the end of school.

Now, sometimes we need a snack. They usually go ahead and do homework first. It's usually 1 math page. (We have a no screen time till homework's done rule.) Then usually Timothy finds something physical to do for about 15 mins and Sarah will read in the family room or watch a cartoon. They might play Kindle or head off to the playroom to be a little crazy.

I try not to schedule much for right after school. They need the down time.

Marissa

 

Usually we have a snack when we come home and then one of mine needs a time-in with me after pre-school with cuddling, reading a book, talking about the day, the other one needs some time alone to play because he is done with people after a day at pre-school.

I have learnt that we have to stay at home for the rest of the day after their full pre-school days, no errands, no playdates etc. A run in the park or a stop at a playground on the way home are fine, but once we are home that is where we have to stay.

 

My mom picks up but she found having a snack for the girls immediately when picking them up helps with the melt downs. They eat so early and I think they are just hungry.

 

My two just started kindergarten two weeks ago. I think there is just a certain of amount of "niceness" and well-behaved quota that they are able to fill, and the 3 hours a day at school (Mon-Thurs) and 2 hours (Fri) use them all up.

So the teacher tells me what wonderful well-behaved boys they are, and I just smile and nod thinking that the kids she is talking about CANNOT POSSIBLY be the same two that scream and yell like possessed demons hell-bent on destroying everything in the house, shredding every last bit of sanity I have, and incessantly teasing/tormenting their little sister to the verge of tears every afternoon!

It might be that they are not accustomed to sitting still so much. They have all of this pent-up energy now and they need to let loose. I've had to take all 3 on walks/runs/bike ride around the neighborhood even though it is deathly hot. I can't do that everyday though, so I send them all outside (even my little girl) to play by themselves and told them not to call me unless there was bleeding. I feel okay doing that because the backyard is fenced and I know full well that they will tell me if something is amiss (major tattle-tales). For some weird reason, the kids play better by themselves. If they see I am around, they are much more likely to have me play arbitrator. If I'm not around they've learned to work it out.

What sucks is that our generation thinks we have to solve every little problem for our kids. Our grandparents generation always just sent their kids out to play and told them not to come back until dinner time. We shouldn't feel so guilty if we put our sanity first every once in a while.

 

Mine get a snack when they get home, a bit of tv (no homework yet or it would be off until they're done), and playing happily afterwards. They're in different classes so I'm guessing they're happy to play together too.

 

Yep, my oldest was always “Hangry” (angry mood due to hunger) after school… and would melt down quick, so I always had a snack for the car ride home… though I think it took me a good 2 months to make that connection... plus him learning and accepting his new schedule helped as well

 

Mine need food as soon as they get out of school. I used to bring a snack when I picked them up but now I pack something extra in their lunchboxes and they save whatever they want to eat on the way home (25 minute car ride). At home they run around with the dog while I make smoothies and do homework immediately after.

 

Food for sure, and I give them the iPad or tv for a few minutes to flake out without having to interact with me. I found most of our meltdowns were happening when I expected them to interact about their day right away so now the conversation waits until supper.

 

Another vote for snack immediately. I pack one in their backpacks, they eat lunch at 10:30, so their classes have a snack around 1:30, then they get another snack in their after school program at 4:30. 4+ hours between meals is too much time IMO for a five year old.