Afraid to be alone with the twins

Hello everyone!
I never did register during my pregnancy, but was on this site a lot, as I was
on bedrest and found much comfort in many of the posts. My twin girls were
born June 13th, at 35 weeks and 5 days. No NICU time, everything was great,
except for the terrible hospital experience.
Now that we've been home for five weeks, I am still terrified to be alone with
the girls. I watch the clock all day and dread when my mom or mother in law
leave and it is just me until my husband gets home. And this might only be for
one hour or so!
Would some experienced moms out there please tell me how you dealt with two
screaming babies? That is my main problem. If I'm comforting one and the other
is screaming away, what do I do? How do I handle that?
I am doing some breast feeding, some formula, and a lot of pumping. Just tonight
I tried feeding them both at the same time. They will latch on, but after a twenty
minute feeding, they are starving twenty minutes later. I thought feeding at the
same time would eliminate some of the problem with not being able to take care
of two at the same time, but it is not working.
As far as sleeping at night, we are up about every two hours, sometimes an hour
and a half, sometimes almost three. Since they have that acid reflux-and doesn't
it seem like every baby does?! I take a lot of time feeding because I hold them
upright for 15-20 minutes after, and I don't get great sleep because I am constantly
worried about them spitting up in their sleep.
I see I've wandered away from my original topic of trying to handle the girls on
my own. Sorry!
Thanks!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I stayed at my parents with my DH for 6 weeks. My parents then left to go back to their place in Arizona(they are snow birds). It was pretty ruff at that time because both boys were diagnosed with acid reflux and would scream for awhile during and after feedings. What reflux meds are they on? We tried axid first and it didn't do anything and had to go to prevacid. I use to hold both at the same time back then against my chest laying down or one on my lap and one by my neck. I think that there is one of those wraps that will hold two at a time as well. I remember be terrified when both boys wanted to eat at the same time and then started feeding in the boppys and bouncy seats. As for at night, we use to let them sleep in the car seats because I was afraid they would spit up and at least I knew they were upright.

 

I felt that same way. I think the first 8 weeks were the hardest. My mom and MIL would each take a day out of the week to stay with us. They'd give me a hand during the day so I could sleep, since I was up with the babies most of the night. My husband is a teacher and is also working on his masters. So he was really busy reading and working on papers from Jan through May (babies born in March). So it was such a relief having the help here. The nights of his classes he'd be gone from 6 am til 10 pm. I never would have survived without their help. But when they would leave, I would have that same dreaded feeling...it's just me and the babies...two against one. I didn't know their cries at all, and hated the feeling of not being in control (I still do!). But I think I started to feel much more comfortable with things around 7-8 weeks. I stopped the overnight help from the moms and I think it forced me to get the confidence to see I really could do this. And if they both cried and I was all alone, we'd be ok. Of course I'm saying this now that my husband is off for the summer. Still working on his masters, but he is so much help now. I'm so scared for him to go back in August, especially because he'll still be taking classes. It might be a huge adjustment all over again, but I'm praying I can handle it. Not sure how reassuring this was, but at least know you're not alone in feeling this way!

 

I remember feeling this way at first too..the twins were our first children and I'd never really cared for any baby before. It's scary to think you're the one responsible for them all day and alone at that!! It will be OK, trust me, if they have to cry a bit while you're taking care of their sibling. Honest, it's hard to do, but you have to allow it to a degree for your own sanity. I still hate it when they cry, but I know it's in everyone's best interest. You are one person and as time goes on you will get a feel for things, sleeping will get better, etc. Here are my main suggestions:
1-Try putting them in swings with soft music or a bouncy seat that vibrates...when mine were hysterical, they actually loved the sound of the vaccuum cleaner. I'd just sit it in the room and let it run for a bit. There's just no way for you to hold them both all the time while crying!
2-When I was concerned with spitting up, I'd let them fall asleep in the bouncy seats because they were comfortable enough and they recline just a bit. We had one that actually folded all the way back into an almost flat position so once they were asleep and I was more comfortable (20 min or so) I would recline them. Even at that age, mine were soothed with a Baby Einstein cd..or lullaby cd.
3- Have you tried taking them for a walk or a car ride? Mine loved the car-went right to sleep!
4- Are they gassy from the formula, if so, you could try gas drops....are they getting too much air from their bottles? If so, maybe a bottle change?
5- I have no breastfeeding advice, we did all formula, but we were on ALimentum...maybe the formula they have isn't working so well..are they fussier after formula vs. b/milk?
I know it's a lot and those are just a few questions to think about and some tips. Welcome to TS! THe moms here are simply amazing and will be wonderul support throughout the next years!!

 

I too remember that fear of being alone with the babies. Honestly- what helped me the most was just doing it over and over and realizing I COULD do it, and I was getting better at it. As my confidence increased- my fear decreased. As far as balancing them- I'd try to put one in the bouncy by my feet while feeding the other- or I sit on the floor next to the bouncy. If I can move the bouncy with my foot and rock it- while it vibrates- that helps too. Honestly though- I really just had to let go of the feeling that I should be doing something right away when one cries. It is ok for them to cry. It doesn't hurt them- my mom always tells me it's actually good for them to work their lungs every so often! There were days I could handle it better than others- still are. Some days I even sit down and cry with them- but the bottom line is- at the end of the day we are all ok and tomorrow begins a new day. It can be overwhelming- but that is ok too. You will find what works for you and what the babies seem to enjoy as they grow and change. Just take a deep breath and take one day at a time. Before you know it- those first few months will pass and you will begin to see it does get easier. Hang in there- I'm sure you are doing great :hug99:

 

You have already gotten some great advice. Just wanted to give you hugs because you are at such a tough age right now.

 

I know that my topic line seems awful, now that I look at it,
but it really is beyond anything I ever imagined. I knew it would
be hard and overwhelming, but I never in a million years thought
it would be at this level.
It seems when my mom and mother in law are here the girls
are just as happy and content as can be and even sleep most
of the day. Then, they leave and it's like I just can't comfort
my own kids. I always thought a baby was comforted by the
sound of their mom's voice or the touch, but it doesn't seem this
way for these girls.
It's frustrating because it makes me feel super inadequate as well
as have crazy thoughts along the lines of my girls just don't like me.
Isn't that insane? I keep hearing 6 weeks is a small turning point.
I'm almost there, but I don't anticipate any big changes.
Thanks again!

 

QUOTE(kjeaal @ Jul 17 2008, 11:08 PM) [snapback]882631[/snapback]
I know that my topic line seems awful, now that I look at it,
but it really is beyond anything I ever imagined. I knew it would
be hard and overwhelming, but I never in a million years thought
it would be at this level.
It seems when my mom and mother in law are here the girls
are just as happy and content as can be and even sleep most
of the day. Then, they leave and it's like I just can't comfort
my own kids. I always thought a baby was comforted by the
sound of their mom's voice or the touch, but it doesn't seem this
way for these girls.
It's frustrating because it makes me feel super inadequate as well
as have crazy thoughts along the lines of my girls just don't like me.
Isn't that insane? I keep hearing 6 weeks is a small turning point.
I'm almost there, but I don't anticipate any big changes.
Thanks again!


It's not awful. I see many women post very similar thoughts- me included! I tell people all the time I "knew in my head" it would be hard- but had no idea what that really meant until they were here. It IS totally encompassing and life changing. I had that same feeling about the babies (specifically my DD) doing great for others and then having melt down as soon as I was alone with her. For weeks I said she hated me. Then, I really just realized she doesn't even know those emotions yet, I am her mother, and she won't hate me until she is a teenager
You are not inadequate- you are just learning that's all. You have everything those babies need right now. Love, food, warmth, security- the rest will come. Give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up. You are doing great.
One day I was upset and complaining to my friend about how tired I was and how I just couldn't do anything right. She politely reminded me sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason! It is so very hard to function when you are not getting the rest you need. Try to nap when you can. Just a little extra sleep can really help your perspective on things

 

QUOTE(kjeaal @ Jul 17 2008, 09:08 PM) [snapback]882631[/snapback]
I know that my topic line seems awful, now that I look at it,
but it really is beyond anything I ever imagined. I knew it would
be hard and overwhelming, but I never in a million years thought
it would be at this level.
It seems when my mom and mother in law are here the girls
are just as happy and content as can be and even sleep most
of the day. Then, they leave and it's like I just can't comfort
my own kids. I always thought a baby was comforted by the
sound of their mom's voice or the touch, but it doesn't seem this
way for these girls.
It's frustrating because it makes me feel super inadequate as well
as have crazy thoughts along the lines of my girls just don't like me.
Isn't that insane? I keep hearing 6 weeks is a small turning point.
I'm almost there, but I don't anticipate any big changes.
Thanks again!


I felt the exact same way! I have 3 older kids and I knew it was going to be harder, but I knew I could handle it. It was really not going to be any big deal for me. Then they got here and it's a whole different animal. There have been times when I have called DH at work in tears thinking I was never going to get the hang of it. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I think 'I just don't want to do this anymore!' but then it passes. It does get better and better everyday though.

 

kjeaal I could have written your post VERBATIM! Especially the part about them being so happy when someone is here and then all hell breaking loose when it's just me. My babies are 11 weeks now and it is getting SO much better. Everyday there's improvement. My mom is usually around for a couple hours 2 or 3 days a week, but she just left for 10 days and she's my only help. If this had happened two weeks ago, I would probably have slashed her tires or something to keep her from leaving, but I think we're going to make it.

Some of the best advice I've gotten is to just keep trying things (swing, bouncy, gym...) even if you think they don't like it. Today for the first time ever, Matthew enjoyed the swing. It was miraculous! Also, we've just introduced Baby Einstein. It is the bomb.

Hang in there! You can do this!

 

Don't feel bad in the least! I have been there, was terrified to be left alone with the babies! Hated the thought of not being able to comfort both and having all the crying. Unfortunately the only way to deal with it is to just jump in and try it, and you will make it through. Another option, if you have the finances is to hire some help to come in. I did this, we couldn't really afford it, but it helped with my sanity so it was worth every penny. And, we used friends and family as much as possible, we would book mil and sil to come over for an evening a week to help out.
I remember being exactly where you are - you are not alone!! I remember knowing it would be tough, but when it got here, it was beyond tough, it seemed impossible and I felt like i was trapped in He11. Just know that every week or so it will get better, my life slowly got better. Although I have to say the 6wk mark wasn't that great for us, that was more peak fussy time for our babies - I remember at 6 wks chanting "6 wks is peak fussiness time, so it will get better".
Come back here and vent and get support anytime. It is what I did and I think it is one thing that really helped me through the first few months of the babies lives, as it is really hard for other people that don't have twins to fully relate. Big hugs!

Feel free to send me a pm if you want to chat.

 

You are in a rough time right now! You have gotten great advice so far. So, you are alone in the late afternoon/evening? This is the babies' fussy time. I had nights where all I could do was sit w/ both lying on my chest. I would do that for a few hours- it was the only thing that calmed them. It is really difficult when both are screaming. I still don't have it completely down- but mine usually will settle if I feed them when both are screaming. It is really hard to FF, BF, and pump. I did it for awhile. I remember this time well, and it was not fun. It also was a LOT harder than I had imagined. Hang in there. You will slowly learn what each likes and I promise it does get easier!!

 

I think we have all been there. :hug99: You can do this! I know I was scared the first bit to be alone with my girls, too. BUt it does get easier, and the more you do it, th easier it gets.

THis site is a great place for advice and support, and please don't ever feel bad for posting things. It gets tough - especially at night, at least for me. :hug99:

I also wanted to let you know that we have a forum specifically for breastfeeding, and the ladies who frequent over there also come over to the First Years forum, but you might have some awesome advice over there.

Link to breastfeeding forum just in case it helps.

 

I have to run...but a quick tip...have you tried bouncy seats? When I was alone with my boys (and that was alot), 95% of the time ONE baby would be happy to be bounced in the bouncy seat with my foot while I held the other one. And often they would both be happy being bounced so I could actually have some time without a baby ON ME!

That was how I handled both babies crying...BOUNCY SEATS! I didn't find the swings worked til they were closer to 3 months.

If neither were happy being bounced, I sat in the middle of the couch with both on my chest. I had boppies on both sides of me so I could very carefully move them off me when they fell asleep. It was tricky but worked (most of the time).

Good luck! You are really in the thick of things right now. BUt it WILL get better...

Cary

 

I felt the same way! I was scared of being alone and sometimes I still doubt my abilities! My babes have acid reflux too and are on pepcid twice a day. It took awhile before this helped but now I do feel like it is making a difference. Things I did to help ease the anxiety....they might not work for you but they helped me. The babies worst hours were 6-10 pm. I asked for help during these hours. Just like you, my babes were pretty good during the day and most babies have a hard time in the later afternoon and evening. Also, I was pumping and supplementing. I eventually gave up pumping. I felt bad about it but it was like feeding a third child, I would feed both babies and then have to pump. I was exhausted. Something had to give. I had a lot of breastmilk frozen and when that was done, so were they. We moved to getting the babies on the right formula which was hit or miss but once we landed on the right ones coupled with the pepcid, I had different babies. I gave the babies formula for their last bottle at night. It seemed to stretch them out in terms of sleeping more. Finally, I started their night time routine at about 5 weeks....bath, lotion, very little stimuli....hoping to wind them down. Some days it worked, some days it didn't.

Hang in there. Babies cry, just keep telling yourself that. They won't hurt themselves....you are doing the best you can!



Hello everyone!
I never did register during my pregnancy, but was on this site a lot, as I was
on bedrest and found much comfort in many of the posts. My twin girls were
born June 13th, at 35 weeks and 5 days. No NICU time, everything was great,
except for the terrible hospital experience.
Now that we've been home for five weeks, I am still terrified to be alone with
the girls. I watch the clock all day and dread when my mom or mother in law
leave and it is just me until my husband gets home. And this might only be for
one hour or so!
Would some experienced moms out there please tell me how you dealt with two
screaming babies? That is my main problem. If I'm comforting one and the other
is screaming away, what do I do? How do I handle that?
I am doing some breast feeding, some formula, and a lot of pumping. Just tonight
I tried feeding them both at the same time. They will latch on, but after a twenty
minute feeding, they are starving twenty minutes later. I thought feeding at the
same time would eliminate some of the problem with not being able to take care
of two at the same time, but it is not working.
As far as sleeping at night, we are up about every two hours, sometimes an hour
and a half, sometimes almost three. Since they have that acid reflux-and doesn't
it seem like every baby does?! I take a lot of time feeding because I hold them
upright for 15-20 minutes after, and I don't get great sleep because I am constantly
worried about them spitting up in their sleep.
I see I've wandered away from my original topic of trying to handle the girls on
my own. Sorry!
Thanks!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
[/quote]

 

In addition to actual physical help (mom & husband) I found swings to be a godsend (one for each). That and finally being able to take them for walks in a stroller. I agree if you can afford to hire some help - or if you are a part of a church community people LOVE helping with babies. It does get easier :hug99:

 

I felt the same way and cried the day my DH went back to work. The mroe you are alone with them, the easier it becomes and then you get a great little routine and even though it is a LOT of work to do it alone you are more than capable! Hang in there and like others have said crying won't hurt the babies. Good luck!

 

I just wanted to tell you, that my twins are the last 2 in a long line of sibblings, I am the director of a daycare, and I still get a little anxious thinking about my other children going back to school and I being left alone all day with the twins. Don't be so hard on yourself! You are doing fine. I will tell you that letting your baby cry is good for them. First of all, when you have twins, realistically you can't hold them both every time they are crying. But, what I have heard is that when your baby cries and you are busy with the other one, it is teaching your baby self reliance and independence. When you look at it that way, it's not such a bad thing. You are still there for your baby, you are not neglecting it, and you can still comfort by talking, singing, and touching (with one hand), here and there, while holding the other one. What I have found best is my bouncy seats. They both go in it and I just take turns comforting them. I turn on the music, vibration mode and sing to them, while I touch, kiss and if they are too, upset I pick up one love them for a while, put them back in seat and do the same with the other. If it gets to be too much for you, there is nothing wrong with walking out of the room (crying yourself a bit), getting yourself together and going back to face it... you may even find that one of them CIO and fell asleep. Nothing wrong with that... okay?!? As for feeding them, I am doing exactly what you are doing. I am primarily pumping with a little formula and b/f here and there. That is a lot of work. My suggestion is to get a routine. Do you do the hands free pumping? If not, start! It is a lifesaver. If you need info for that, PM me. Molly is a little gassy when she eats and what I started to do is put gas drops in each of her bottles. She would even get gassy from straight breastmilk. She was spitting up a lot! I have been doing the drops and it has helped a lot. I burp her after every 2 ounces now and about 5 minutes after she has finished. When you have to feed two at the same time, use your bouncy seats or boppys. Don't feel bad about propping a bottle for a few minutes while you burp the other, then switching. Propping is only a bad thing when that's all you do. There are going to be times when propping is a necessity with twins.

QUOTE
I know that my topic line seems awful, now that I look at it,
but it really is beyond anything I ever imagined. I knew it would
be hard and overwhelming, but I never in a million years thought
it would be at this level.
It seems when my mom and mother in law are here the girls
are just as happy and content as can be and even sleep most
of the day. Then, they leave and it's like I just can't comfort
my own kids. I always thought a baby was comforted by the
sound of their mom's voice or the touch, but it doesn't seem this
way for these girls.
It's frustrating because it makes me feel super inadequate as well
as have crazy thoughts along the lines of my girls just don't like me.
Isn't that insane? I keep hearing 6 weeks is a small turning point.
I'm almost there, but I don't anticipate any big changes.
Thanks again!


I had nonstop family here for the entire first month after the babies were born. I knew my mom and aunt (who live across country from me) wouldn't see the babies for another year or two and I wanted to give them as much time as possible with them. I found mine wouldn't respond to me as well as I had liked either. As much as you like their help, maybe they are becoming too much of a caregiver to your babies at this time. Step in and ask them to help you with other things, like housework, laundry or cooking, and let you take care of your babies. If you need help with one while taking care of the other ask them at that time to do something specific. This will also help you feel more confident in what you are trying to accomplish when they are not there. In fact, that is a really good way of explaining to them that you need their help with other things, without hurting feelings. Just tell them, that you are not really confident yet taking care of the babies when they leave and you would like to be the one to do things for the babies when they are there, as well, so that they can kind of be your back up. (I hope this is making sense to you). I don't get a lot of sleep at night either... lol... and I am a little bit brain dead right now! I am working on getting my two on a schedule. I know that when school starts I am going to have to be able to feed my twins and still get my others to school on time. I am working towards that 6 am, 9 or 10 am, 2 pm, 4 pm, 9pm schedule. So far, we are close. By next month we will hopefully be there. We are still doing the 2 or 3 am feeding for Stefan, but Molly usually sleeps till 5... God bless her! My DS just doesn't like missing a feeding... lol! (you can tell too!) Well, I hope all of this helps. I know this got a little long. IF you have any more ??? feel free to pm me. Our babies are only about 1 month apart if I remember right. Mine were born 5-12. Good luck and just remember... you are doing great and it will get easier!!!!! :hug99:

 

I forgot to mention before...there's something at Babies R Us called the Fisher Price Soothing Motions Glider. My daughter spent most of the day sleeping in it. It was the best! We sometimes plopped them in there at night too, when they wouldn't go back to sleep in their crib. They outgrew it pretty fast, but I'm so glad we had it for the time that we did.

 

QUOTE(kjeaal @ Jul 17 2008, 10:08 PM) [snapback]882631[/snapback]
I know that my topic line seems awful, now that I look at it,
but it really is beyond anything I ever imagined. I knew it would
be hard and overwhelming, but I never in a million years thought
it would be at this level.
It seems when my mom and mother in law are here the girls
are just as happy and content as can be and even sleep most
of the day. Then, they leave and it's like I just can't comfort
my own kids. I always thought a baby was comforted by the
sound of their mom's voice or the touch, but it doesn't seem this
way for these girls.
It's frustrating because it makes me feel super inadequate as well
as have crazy thoughts along the lines of my girls just don't like me.
Isn't that insane? I keep hearing 6 weeks is a small turning point.
I'm almost there, but I don't anticipate any big changes.
Thanks again!


I felt the exact same way--like my babies didn't like me or felt shorted because I had to let one cry while I tended to the one in the more immediate crisis mode. You are at a really tough stage right now--but it's going to get easier--a little bit every week. And soon you are going to start seeing those smiles, and you'll realize that your babies do love you.

And I totally remember that fear, and I remember watching the clock for a time when I could begin expecting DH to get home. It's totally normal, and it will get better!

Hugs!

 

Unfortunatly, I never had any help wiht the twins when they were babies. I was a serious clock watcher, too! My advice is instead of taking it one day at a time, take it one moment at a time. Do you know what time DH will be coming home everyday? I would literally schedule my day in 15 minute intervales until he got home. Keep as busy as you can for that hour that you are by yoursellf. Maybe give baths, do tummy time, feeding, read a story, sing a song (mine loved watching hands, so we did the itsy bitsy spider a lot!), go for a walk, video them, car ride, music, WHATEVER! Anything you can do to occupy your time. Even if they scream through the whole 10 minutes you decide to do songs, you have a goal and a time to get through, and a planned "activity" for the next 10-15 minutes. This might seem like a crazy idea, but you know after 4-5 "activities, 10-15 time slots" your DH will be home. It helped me to "know" how I was going to get through that hour. I used to sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" over and over (sometimes at the top of my lungs) just to keep from going crazy.

Do you have a glider that you can sit with both of them in and hold if the are crying.
How about a sling or a front pack- a MUST HAVE!!!!!

OK, this might seem insensitive, but do you have an ipod or CD walkman? You can put that on for a little while to help with the screaming. Of course you will still hear them, it just takes the edge off and is a lot less stressful.

How about finding a young neighbor/ teenager to help for that hour?

Do you swaddle/ use white noise?

Can you get out of the house alone for a short period when you have help, just for a break?

Are you getting enough to eat and drink throughout the day?

Pumping/ formula/ breastfeeding is a nightmare! It is SO hard. Can you get help from a lactation nurse or La Leche League to help get the babies nursing more often?

What you are experiencing is all very normal, but be careful to watch for signs of post partum depression.

How about putting them in the car and going to get a coffee?

Just throwing these things out there. I hope you don't think I'm a nut after reading some of this. :lol: I just know that there were days that i would have tried ANYTHING!

Good luck and keep posting!

 

[I was really nervous in the beginning but I had no choice so I just did it. I was so relieved when I had help when mil and fil came over twice a week. My DH worked days then so I dreaded him leaving and I was up at night so I was tired and overwhelmed and scared. I still get nervous sometimes and hate to hear them cry. They seem to pick the worst times to cry. They will be sound asleep until I start to wash my hair or something that is impossible to stop doing. They will scream for a while and I am not comfortable with this, but this is the only way to get anything done. It will get easier as they get older and you get more comfortable. GL.

Jen

 

:hug99: I have to say, My dh stayed home with me for the first three weeks. At week 2 I was starting to freak out about how I was going to do it alone. My mom was a big help. I watched her and learned from her how to deal with two babies. I took it one day at a time. I did whatever I could to keep the babies happy. My two were horrible sleepers. I breastfed exclusively, so I got no breaks and they ate ever 1.5-2 hours. I remember my sister being over once and I took a nap and they did feed dd with a bottle so they wouldn't disturb me. YOu can do it! Soon I found that the more help I got the worse it was! Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself too! Drink & eat enough! :hug99:

 

The first few weeks are the hardest. I know what you mean about it making you feel inadequate. I used to feel the same way because there was always somebody crying. Singleton mothers feed their baby and the baby is happy and there is peace. Mothers of twins feed a baby and there is another baby screaming and then when the second baby is finally happy, the other starts screaming again. Then they scream at the same time. Sometimes it sounded like Armegadden at my place.

Something that really helped was feeding them both in boppy pillows at the same time. I had been feeding them one at a time, (while the other wailed ) and it was horrible. Then I saw Dennis Quaid on "Regis and Kelly" and he said he fed his twins together using boppy pillows and a bottle in each hand. I sent my mother out to get the pillows and they were such a blessing ! They made life easier for a couple of months, until my DS got bigger and started arching his back and refusing to sit in his.
I think experience is what takes away the anxiety. As you get used to taking care of both of them, you'll feel more confident.It gets easier as the babies get older too.Things are much, much better now that my babies are 5 1/2 months old.
For the first trimester of my pregnancy I was pregnant with triplets and I started going to a site called tripletconnection.com. Those mothers have it really tough. Some of them run their lives like a military operation. Any time I think twins are hard...I'm reminded of how much harder the triplet mothers have it.

 

When my girls were first born I was terrified of being alone with them too! I remember the 2nd day in the hospital, they brought me the babies at 6 am and I called my mom in a panic because there was no one else in the hospital room with me! My mom took 3 weeks off work and stayed here with me and then she and my dh would take turns being here for the first 2 months or so! You are not alone a lot of new moms go through this! Heck when my girls were first born I was scared of them! I was scared I'd hurt them! I had never held or fed a newborn, I had no idea how to change a diaper, and I was WAY too nervous to even attempt giving them baths. I don't think I ever did the baths until their umbilical chords fell off, I tried once and the baby turned blue (from being cold) and it scared me so bad I had my mom do it every time after that!

Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of them and they will learn your ways. You will bond with them and you'll get to a point where you don't want anyone else at your house because they'll only get in the way of your routine with your babies. Just be patient and give it a couple of months.