Afraid of gloves/mittens

My wimpy little boy (not my girl) is afraid of gloves. Whether they be on someone else's hands or his own, he freaks out. You can't even put a sock on your hand to turn it right-side-out without hysteria. Obviously this is going to be a problem, seeing as it is winter.

Granted, this is the kid who is also afraid of plastic bugs and spiders, when you wiggle your feet under a blanket, and having his shirt pulled over his head, so I shouldn't be surprised. I just don't know what to do. Why is he such a wimp? DD is daring and fearless and it has often gotten her in trouble. But, DS is just a wimp! I want them to have reasonable fear that will help keep them safe, but I don't want them afraid of their own shadows.

I've tried talking to him and showing him that it is just our hands and we are trying to keep them warm, but he just cries. Anyone else have a child like this? What can you do to help them?

 

At the risk of sounding rude and harsh, why do you call him a "wimp"? He's still a very, very young child. Every child is different and just because your dd may be tougher and handle some things better doesn't necessarily mean your ds is a "wimp", he just feels differently. Maybe he will grow out of it, or maybe he will just be a sensitive male.

Maybe a phone call to the pedi will get you some much needed answers.

 

I would probably agree that "wimp" is probably not the best word. But the truth is all kids are different & what scares them at 2 won't scare them at 3, it will be something else. Luke was scared of a small, stuffed whale last week. Weird, but true. He would back away as if it were going to bite him. This week he carries it everywhere he goes. So, maybe he will change next week or next month. Until then, not much you can do but try to avoid making it worse. I would just avoid gloves for now, he will be ok without them!

 

I'm not calling him that in comparison to my DD. I also don't think it is a medical problem and therefore, not something a doctor can help with.

I love my DS. But, I am concerned that he is holding himself back. Not to mention the fact that his fear is causing problems with things such as staying warm.

I used the turn "wimp" to describe that this is an ongoing thing. Not just a one-time little fear. Also, I know that in internet conversations it can be difficult to understand what another person is trying to convey. Especially when emotion is involved. In this instance, when I write the word "wimp" I am smiling. In a way, this is endearing to me. No different from calling my DD a "drama queen". That term could also be seen as negative and hurtful in one circumstance. However, I do not mean this in a hurtful manner.

But, on the other hand I am concerned that his "cute" little fears are getting out of hand. Until it came to the gloves, I would just hug him and say "oh, Ian, there's nothing to be afraid of," and giggle to myself. Gloves, however, are not an unnecessary thing that can be laughed off.

My concern is helping him to get over this fear so that he can go outside. Although, he may not want to since he is afraid of snow, too...

 

I have a very sensitive son (6yo). He had a ton of irrational fears as a toddler and preschooler and even right now we're trying to explain the difference between something being suspenseful and scary. He doesn't like surprises and does startle easily.

I haven't done anything to "fix" him per say. I did a lot of ignoring around preschool age...I would tell him once there was nothing to be afraid of and then move on, not buying into it at all. I didn't baby him, but I also didn't scould him for it. My philosophy is that it's hard to be a boy in our society. It's especially hard to be a sensitive boy. He doesn't need ridicule or pressure from his parents to change who he is. We love him, quirks and all, they just make him more interesting.

 

QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Dec 4 2007, 07:40 PM) [snapback]521222[/snapback]
I'm not calling him that in comparison to my DD. I also don't think it is a medical problem and therefore, not something a doctor can help with.

I love my DS. But, I am concerned that he is holding himself back. Not to mention the fact that his fear is causing problems with things such as staying warm.

I used the turn "wimp" to describe that this is an ongoing thing. Not just a one-time little fear. Also, I know that in internet conversations it can be difficult to understand what another person is trying to convey. Especially when emotion is involved. In this instance, when I write the word "wimp" I am smiling. In a way, this is endearing to me. No different from calling my DD a "drama queen". That term could also be seen as negative and hurtful in one circumstance. However, I do not mean this in a hurtful manner.

But, on the other hand I am concerned that his "cute" little fears are getting out of hand. Until it came to the gloves, I would just hug him and say "oh, Ian, there's nothing to be afraid of," and giggle to myself. Gloves, however, are not an unnecessary thing that can be laughed off.

My concern is helping him to get over this fear so that he can go outside. Although, he may not want to since he is afraid of snow, too...



I didn't mean to imply that you didn't love him. Of course you do. You are his mother & you're worried about him being warm. :hug99: Unfortunately, 2 year olds are hard to understand. They can't tell us why something scares them. In my experience, they all are afraid of something. I think it is because they are becoming more aware of the world around them & that there are some things that can harm them. Up until this age, I don't think they understood that. Anyway, I've never found a way to get them over it other than time. They just seem to outgrow most of it. If he doesn't, or develops more & more fears, maybe a discussion with the pedi would be in order. I would bet, though, that it will go away with time. Sorry if I sounded like I was criticizing you, I really wasn't, just not fond of the word wimp.

Oh, & my two didn't like the snow this week either....

 

QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Dec 4 2007, 10:40 PM) [snapback]521222[/snapback]
I'm not calling him that in comparison to my DD. I also don't think it is a medical problem and therefore, not something a doctor can help with.

I love my DS. But, I am concerned that he is holding himself back. Not to mention the fact that his fear is causing problems with things such as staying warm.

I used the turn "wimp" to describe that this is an ongoing thing. Not just a one-time little fear. Also, I know that in internet conversations it can be difficult to understand what another person is trying to convey. Especially when emotion is involved. In this instance, when I write the word "wimp" I am smiling. In a way, this is endearing to me. No different from calling my DD a "drama queen". That term could also be seen as negative and hurtful in one circumstance. However, I do not mean this in a hurtful manner.

But, on the other hand I am concerned that his "cute" little fears are getting out of hand. Until it came to the gloves, I would just hug him and say "oh, Ian, there's nothing to be afraid of," and giggle to myself. Gloves, however, are not an unnecessary thing that can be laughed off.

My concern is helping him to get over this fear so that he can go outside. Although, he may not want to since he is afraid of snow, too...


Stacy, I had to tell you that my oldest was exactly like your son for years and years. He is 5.5 now and really has grown out of a lot of things. He is still afraid of some things, like bees, not crazy about the dark, scary movies, but normal things. He used to be afraid of snow for example (like yours). Basically I nurtured him when I thought he needed it and other times I would ignore or tell him that it was no big deal and to avoid it. He really did grow out of the odd, weird things. So no worries! :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Dec 4 2007, 10:40 PM) [snapback]521222[/snapback]
Also, I know that in internet conversations it can be difficult to understand what another person is trying to convey. Especially when emotion is involved. In this instance, when I write the word "wimp" I am smiling. In a way, this is endearing to me.

Thank you for writing this. When I saw your OP last night, I have to admit it made me a little sad. Like I said, I really didn't want to come across sounding rude or harsh, I just didn't understand.

I think the other girls here shared some great info with you and I hope it helps. :hug99:

 

Doing a quick search on the net and found this...

http://www.daycareindex.com/fears.asp

Morgan has suddenly developed a fear of dogs (including OUR dog). He freaks out when he sees any dog. He cries this gosh-awful "come get me" cry and holds on to me for dear life. I try to comfort him but I also try to show him that the dog is okay by petting it. (Right now he only sees two dogs...our dog at home and my brother's dog). I don't force a dog on him though. I just don't take him out of it completely because we obviously can't get rid of our dog!

Good luck to you! Shannon

 

My girl is afraid of hats. we're working on it. Still though if someone visits and they walk in wearing a hat or someone is wearing a hat when we're out she'll be scarred. The way I see it it's not a matter of her being a wimp (or any other gentler word) but rather a sign that she knows what the rules (not wearing hats) are and the exceptions (wearing them) scare her. So it's a sign of a good memory and an understanding of the rules of what she sees around her. Now we're working on making the rules more flexible.
Today was the first day it was cold and they had to wear hats. I wore a hat, her sister wore a hat and I let her play with her own hat a little before she wore and although it wasn't the easiest thing for her as the day went on it got easier. We did this 4 times today when we were going out. Her hat is really pretty and has little beads on so it makes fun noises as well and I let her play with it when she wasn't wearing it. Just trying to get her to see hats in a more playful way and get used to them.

 

I have a daughter that is also very sensitive.

It is a sign of creativity if that makes you feel better! My daughter is afraid of noises- so that makes life interesting to say the least (toilet flushes, dog barks, garbage disposal, etc).

I would try jsut ignoring him at times (and not makign a big deal of it) and other times calmly saying" It is alright it is just a ____" . Put on a glove, take it right off(ignoring him) and do it over and over, leave gloves around the house ( or other scarey things) and talk abotu them (oh look a ____. it is so silly/goofy/harmless/fun to play with"

My daughter is in OT for other issues as well and they gave me those tricks. But reminded me gently not to FORCE anything on her , but to slowly try to desensitize her to things and show her in a non threatening way that it is OK. She now talks to herself when some things are scary (a loud truck drives by and she will say "Its okay - jsut a truck"(but she is still worried looking, but not screaming like she used to).

For now- wear really long sleeved shirts or coats- bring some snow inside to acclimate him to it, when his hands get cold he MAY want to wear gloves- talk abotu they keep hands warm , etc...he may not get all of it, but your tone and actions will help. Try not to comapre him verbally to his sister- this may make him feel bad about his fears and make them worse or hurt his self esteem- like there is something 'wrong' with being afraid of stuff. We all have fears and what we think are scary as adults are vastly different from what a kid things is scary.

Good Luck and enjoy your sensitive soul! (someday his DW/SO will love that she has a sensitve man!!!)

KC

 

QUOTE
I wore a hat, her sister wore a hat and I let her play with her own hat a little before she wore and although it wasn't the easiest thing for her as the day went on it got easier. We did this 4 times today when we were going out. Her hat is really pretty and has little beads on so it makes fun noises as well and I let her play with it when she wasn't wearing it. Just trying to get her to see hats in a more playful way and get used to them

QUOTE
I would try just ignoring him at times (and not making a big deal of it) and other times calmly saying" It is alright it is just a ____" . Put on a glove, take it right off(ignoring him) and do it over and over, leave gloves around the house ( or other scarey things) and talk about them (oh look a ____. it is so silly/goofy/harmless/fun to play with"

My daughter is in OT for other issues as well and they gave me those tricks. But reminded me gently not to FORCE anything on her , but to slowly try to desensitize her to things and show her in a non threatening way that it is OK.

I think these are great ideas.
Maybe you could take him to choose his own gloves or get some that have something he really likes on them.

Also from what you said about him not liking socks on hands, wiggling feet under blankets and having shirts put over his head it sounds like he could be scared that there is something hiding where he can't see it. Perhaps you could try playing some under-a-blanket games like making a tent or playing with torches to help him see it's OK.

ETA: Have you tried fingerless gloves? Maybe if he could see fingers coming out of the gloves he wouldn't freak out so much. You can get them for children with a flap that goes over to convert them to mittens. I know they wouldn't be as warm but it would be better than nothing.