Advice?

My boys are almost 9 months old and I have to soothe both of them to sleep. I usually get them to bed around 7-7:30pm and they will sleep until 5am on most nights and at 5 they just need soothing back to sleep until 7am. They are still in our bedroom and have been in their cribs since 3 months. My husband was deployed for 100 days so it was easier for me to have them close by so I could get as much sleep as possible but now I am not sure how to handle the situation. They are waking constantly throughout the night and putting up a bigger fight when putting them to bed. (they are teething) I have tried CIO with them (not for long) but they both get so choked up and they will end up waking each other up and then they will be up for two hours! If I continue to soothe them to sleep and comfort them, what are the negatives for them? Is nurturing them this way for so long bad for them? I know I am not getting much sleep but my main concern is them. Am I doing this all wrong? Help!

 

I don't think soothing them is going to hurt them as such, but the longer you put it off, the harder it will be to teach them to self-soothe themselves. As a baby gets older it gets more of an opinion on things, and soon they are going to decide they just want YOU to do it, not have to do it themselves, which is going to make CIO even harder to do.

CIO is never easy, but you have to commit to it whole-heartedly to make it work. It takes 3-5 days in my experience to get a child to sleep by themselves using CIO, but that's just what worked for my kids.

I did CIO with my oldest at 10 months, and my older dd at 8 months and then again at 10 months because she ended up sick and back in my bed for awhile. The first night was several hours of screaming, the second was about an hour and a half, the third was about 30 mins and by night 4 and 5 they were going to sleep almost immediately.

Have you tried using white noise or a fan, and some lullabies? All my kids drop right to sleep with their fans and lullabies going, both at nap and at night time.

:hug: It's hard to know what's right and whats wrong, and ultimately it's up to you to decide how you can handle the situation! :hug:

 

You should check out the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It has lots of good ideas on how to help babies learn to fall asleep without help that you can tailor to your family. The methods take a gradual approach to changing things, so you won't get instant results, but you also won't have to deal with crying/distressed babies.

ETA: I don't think what you're doing currently is bad for them at all. The only negative I can see is you are losing sleep, meaning you're more tired and have less energy for them throughout the day.

 

What they said!!! I did CIO at 7 and 9 months. It took several days of crying, but it worked.

 

If you haven't already, check out the sleep section of the First Year handbook here on TS. There is lots of practical advice from mommies who have been there.

 

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Mine just started STTN at 9 months. They could put themselves to sleep on their own for naps, but at night they still fell asleep on the bottle.

They gradually phased that out on their own and we did not have to do CIO at all. GL!

 

Thanks for the replies. I tried CIO with one of the boys at nap time and it worked but it was hard. I have to admit...I teared up. I peeked through the door and kept an eye on him but he never knew I was there. He screamed Mommmma over and over again and was climbing the crib. Good thing I have a crib tent! He feel asleep after 30 minutes of crying and screaming with his little head propped up against the crib. I felt awful, but he did fall asleep on his own and slept well. I felt even worse today because his first tooth came in this morning...of all the times to make him CIO! I will attempt it again when he isn't feeling so bad because of teething. Wish me luck and thanks again!