advice

I am convinced my Dh doesn't spend near enough time with the twins. He just doesn't! He spends time with the boys as far as taking them to see monster trucks and to wrestling but with the twins he doesn't actually "do" anything. I took Katie out while DH and Joshie napped and walked with her while she chased her spongebob ball. She had a blast.

When it snowed Thurs. I took all 4 kids out and they all had so much fun. DH has never done anything outside the home with all 4 kids...ever. I thought the way he was with his daughter he would just be different with the twins

So today I sent Katie with DH and my dad to Sams. My dad kept Katie while DH came back home and got me and the rest of the kids. My dad is very partial to Katie and does a lot with her. Kind of hurts my feelings that Joshie gets shafted but I have noticed just about everyone is partial to one of my twins or the other

Anyway I got to thinking and realized DH needs more time with the twins even if I have to coerce (sp?) it. Also I think I need more one on one time with each of the twins. Do any of you seperate your twins and have daddy and baby and mommy and baby things you do?
What kind of things do you do?

I get plenty of time with my bogger boys but the twins always come as a duo and I don't want that to last forever. I want them to have some indivdual time and not feel like they are a pair 24/7 ya know?

 

I am convinced my Dh doesn't spend near enough time with the twins. He just doesn't! He spends time with the boys as far as taking them to see monster trucks and to wrestling but with the twins he doesn't actually "do" anything. I took Katie out while DH and Joshie napped and walked with her while she chased her spongebob ball. She had a blast.

When it snowed Thurs. I took all 4 kids out and they all had so much fun. DH has never done anything outside the home with all 4 kids...ever. I thought the way he was with his daughter he would just be different with the twins

So today I sent Katie with DH and my dad to Sams. My dad kept Katie while DH came back home and got me and the rest of the kids. My dad is very partial to Katie and does a lot with her. Kind of hurts my feelings that Joshie gets shafted but I have noticed just about everyone is partial to one of my twins or the other

Anyway I got to thinking and realized DH needs more time with the twins even if I have to coerce (sp?) it. Also I think I need more one on one time with each of the twins. Do any of you seperate your twins and have daddy and baby and mommy and baby things you do?
What kind of things do you do?

I get plenty of time with my bogger boys but the twins always come as a duo and I don't want that to last forever. I want them to have some indivdual time and not feel like they are a pair 24/7 ya know?

 

We don't separate the twins very often at this point. When we do, they really miss each other. My DH spends a lot of time with them, even if it is just going to the grocery store. He has done weekends alone with them, trips to the park, brought them to the beach. Maybe you should try a time each weekend where it is just him and the twins. He could take them to the park or just hang out at home with them...you can go out on your own for a little while.

 

quote:
Originally posted by moski:
We don't separate the twins very often at this point. When we do, they really miss each other. My DH spends a lot of time with them, even if it is just going to the grocery store. He has done weekends alone with them, trips to the park, brought them to the beach. Maybe you should try a time each weekend where it is just him and the twins. He could take them to the park or just hang out at home with them...you can go out on your own for a little while.


I try to go out at least twice a month with my best friend, we usually do a nails, dinner, walmart outing. He has never watched them longer than 3 1/2 hours. I have had maybe 5 of those trips. I just wish DH would realize what he's missing out on ya know? At home he is getting better as far as when Im busy he'll tend to them. I just think he needs a little more.

 

I would talk to him about it rather than coerce him into it. There might be a reason (such as insecurity) that with a little guidance and reassurance can be overcome. Parenting does not always come naturally to everyone and I think that is increased when there is more than one child the same age. I completely agree with your thoughts but I think you should be careful about how you go about it or things might not go as you hope.

Oh, I forgot to talk about individual time. The only time I get with one is bathtime, this only started within the last couple of months. They do get time away from each other at preschool.

 

Is DH an only child, by chance? Just asking because my dh is and I have finally realized that as being the source of some of his issues. As mentioned by pp, he did have some insecurity issues of dealing with 2 babies at once (2 anything at once).

Once in a while, we each take one to run errands. Not a big deal, but I think it does help to acknowledge that they are not one unit, they are twins, but the are also two individuals as well. We also sometimes each take one in a separate room to read or play. Taking turns with things like that may help dh bond more with them as individuals not the unit.

I have also noticed that others are partial to one of my twins. It is usually my daughter. She is easier, more mellow, less whiney, less crazy, etc. It hurts my feelings because I am all about fairness.

 

DH has actually been doing a lot different eh past 2 days, it's almost as if he has read my posts and email but I know he hasn't lol
I have been bragging though about how much fun these 2 are and maybe that helped?

Anyway yes my DH is an only child and has a lot of things I notice because he is an only child. I won't go into it all but he fits the typical stereotype of an only child quite a bit.