Advice for first time moms

Okay - I am so glad someone told me a few things I had never heard of before I had ds. Then, there were things no one told me that I wish they had!

So, I thought I would start a thread with those things and let others join in. If this is just stupid, feel free to let the thread die


1. When having a vaginal delivery - it is very possible you will poop on the table while pushing. Do NOT worry about it. The nurses will clean it up right away and no one will be made, tease you, or anything else. It is very common and very normal!

2. For me personally - the worst part of recovery from a vaginal birth was constipation! I needed to poop so bad, but it took 4 days. The doctor prescribed a stool softner, but it still took forever to start working. This time, I am chugging prune juice and eating prunes starting right after delivery!

3. You can have an epidural whenever you want one at most hospitals - you don't have to wait until 4 or 5 centimeters like in the past. I got mine when dialated to 2 and that was only because that is how long it to for the drug doctor to get there! I only felt contractions for 45 minutes total and I loved every minute of my delivery (mind you, this was with a singleton!)

4. Take EVERYTHNIG you can from your hospital room when you leave. More than likely, insurance has already been billed for it. For instance, the nose suction thing they use on the babies, any extra diapers in the room, formula (if not bfing), vasoline, etc. If you are unsure, just ask the nurses and they will confirm!!

5. Definitely keep and use the squirt bottle they give you following delivery. You are to use it after you use the bathroom. I LOVED it and used it for every potty trip while bleeding and in the shower. Fill it up with warm water each time and it will be so soothing in that area - and you will need it.

6. Don't be a hero - if you need the pain medication take it! If you are nursing, your doctor will be sure to prescribe something that is compatible with bfing.

7. SLEEP WHEN THE BABIES SLEEP!!! I know, I know, I know! There is laundry, there is dinner, there is X, Y, Z. For your own sanity - sleep when the babies sleep!!!!! Eat take out, buy extra towels and underwear - anything! Just sleep when the babies sleep - at least the first couple of weeks.

8. Most babies don't start to actually hold and play with toys until at least 3 months old! So, there is nothing "wrong" with your little one if they are not playing with all the stuffed animals you purchased at 6 weeks old. It will happen in time.



Anyone else care to add!!!!

 

Here are some more I thought of!


9. If bfing - just because you milk "hasn't come in" doesn't mean your little one(s) aren't getting nurishment. They are getting collostrum which is VERY, VERY healthy and packed with nutrients and antibodies for the babies. This is the best food your child will have.

10. This is one I read on this site, but haven't done yet, if bfing - take a bobby or EZ nurse pillow with you to the hospital. That way, you can practice nursing they way you will at home in the hosptial and can get advice from hospital lactation consultants on how to use the pillow.

11. Install your carseats BEFORE you go into labor! You can even have them professionally installed at many police stations and fire departments, just call ahead.

 

Thank you for doing this!!! I did not know the part about taking things from the hospital room. I will be scoping the place out now!!!

 

12. Rooming in at the hospital with your babies can be a wonderful experience. HOWEVER, you need your rest for the days ahead. Do not feel guilty about sending your little ones to the hospital nursery until they need to eat. There will be plenty of time to keep them close by when you get home.

13. Take a "premie" outfit to the hospital for babies first picture. My dd was 8lbs 8oz and the premie outfit worked well. The 0-3 outfit I took was way, way too big.

 

When your water breaks - it doesn't actually stop flowing!

On TV you see someone water "break" and then kind of stop. It is actually a constant flow which can be light as a trickle or pretty heavy like a steady stream of urine.

 

QUOTE(stbmomof3 @ Jul 9 2007, 07:30 PM) [snapback]323720[/snapback]
When your water breaks - it doesn't actually stop flowing!

On TV you see someone water "break" and then kind of stop. It is actually a constant flow which can be light as a trickle or pretty heavy like a steady stream of urine.



So if your water breaks it doesn't stop coming out until after the babies are born?
What do they use to soak it up or catch it at the hospital?

 

QUOTE(AimeeThomp @ Jul 10 2007, 12:34 AM) [snapback]323726[/snapback]
So if your water breaks it doesn't stop coming out until after the babies are born?
What do they use to soak it up or catch it at the hospital?



You will be on a towel sort of thing that they change often. If may also get a catheder (can't spell today!) especially if you get an epidural since you won't be able to get up and go to the bathroom. But really, the nurses are GREAT at keeping you as dry and clean as possible!!

 

Well, I'm glad this came up--I had no idea that the water would keep flowing like that!!! :huh:

 

Thank you ladies for posting this, keep em coming. I would rather know all the down and dirty before I go!! I hadn't heard the water breaking thing before, good to know!!

 

A lot of great ones have already be mention - taking EVERYTHING from your room is one and the water breaking is another. For me it wasn't a constant flow but more like water balloons that kept popping every now and then. It was pretty embarrassing. I remember walking from the doctors over to the hospital with a shirt wrapped around my waist and hoping that the paper towel they had given me would hold up - not my finest hour!

One thing I wasn't prepared for was the nurses coming in to get the babies to BF and basically opening my gown and grabbing me. I am a very modest person and that was a bit of a shock. I guess after all the embarrassing stuff that happens to you that is nothing but my DH was also a little taken aback.

Oh - I have to say that I thought the catheter was the BEST!!! Just ask them to put it on after they give you the spinal and you won't feel a thing. After getting up to pee every 5 minutes for months it was great to just sit in bed!!

 

QUOTE(Hillybean @ Jul 9 2007, 09:30 PM) [snapback]323788[/snapback]
A lot of great ones have already be mention - taking EVERYTHING from your room is one and the water breaking is another. For me it wasn't a constant flow but more like water balloons that kept popping every now and then. It was pretty embarrassing. I remember walking from the doctors over to the hospital with a shirt wrapped around my waist and hoping that the paper towel they had given me would hold up - not my finest hour!

One thing I wasn't prepared for was the nurses coming in to get the babies to BF and basically opening my gown and grabbing me. I am a very modest person and that was a bit of a shock. I guess after all the embarrassing stuff that happens to you that is nothing but my DH was also a little taken aback.

Oh - I have to say that I thought the catheter was the BEST!!! Just ask them to put it on after they give you the spinal and you won't feel a thing. After getting up to pee every 5 minutes for months it was great to just sit in bed!!


LOL!! I totally agree with the catheter thing!! As I was in Labor and Delivery before hitting 4 centimeters, I was peeing like every two minutes due to the pressure..

 

This is a good post!! I agree with everything from the PP.

Have ice packs or bags of peas/corn for when you get home. Your boobs will HURT!!! They will be huge too. Mine were so bad that I couldn't hold DD b/c if she would of kicked them I would of went through the roof....luckily for me it lasted less than 24 hrs, but can be longer/shorter. No one told me how bad it would be, so I tell others who have not experienced it!!

You will be numb for awhile after the epidural. My epidural didn't work during labor but my right leg was completely numb after I had her. The nurses wanted me to walk to the bathroom an hour after I had her. I had to have someone move my leg, but yet they wanted me to walk on it....I don't think so. I couldn't walk on for a few hours and the numbness wasn't completely gone til the next day....scared the daylights out of me.

Don't be a hero. If DH or someone is willing to help, take it!! DH was unbelievably wonderful when I had DD and when I came home. He made me fall in love all over again. He took such great care of me. It made recovery a lot easier. He was off for two weeks, and by the second week, I feel great and was ready for him to go back to work (not in a bad way and he was not ready).

Cherish every moment (though do get your rest). Your babies will change quickly!! I can't believe how fast their looks change, and how quickly they come out of the newborn look.

April

 

QUOTE(Hillybean @ Jul 9 2007, 08:30 PM) [snapback]323788[/snapback]
One thing I wasn't prepared for was the nurses coming in to get the babies to BF and basically opening my gown and grabbing me. I am a very modest person and that was a bit of a shock. I guess after all the embarrassing stuff that happens to you that is nothing but my DH was also a little taken aback.



aaah! that doesn't sound very nice! now i'm gonna be on the defense everytime a nurse comes in after i deliver lol

 

Stay ahead of your pain meds... if you lapse, it will take a long time for it to catch up, just take them every 4 hours for the first 24 hours.


You will have very bad cramps AFTER delivery while your uterus contracts to get back to it's original size. This becomes much worse with each child.

Take lots of the disposable undies from the hospital so you can use them at home for the first few days of bleeding so you don't ruin yours. My sister just had a baby and we asked each new shift of nurses for a few extra, we would take them and then say we ran out just to get more. We couldn't find where to buy them anywhere. She ended up with 12 pairs and it was barely enough at home.

 

Expect the unexpected. Don't be surprized if things don't go just as you had planned.

 

If you have a c-section, follow the doctor's orders! When he/she says not to carry anything, don't. When they tell you to take it easy, take advantage of the help being offered and rest.

If you don't want someone in the room during delivery, but can't get up the nerve to say it, let the nurses and doctor being the bad guys for you. They don't mind. The goal is for YOU to be comfortable, not everyone else! And, never be afraid to ask for something if you need/want it.

I had pretty light bleeding after my vaginal delivery. The Always thin pads worked great for me, but I took a variety of sizes just in case and I'm so glad I did! It was nice to be able to find what was most comfortable.

If you have boys, KEEP "IT" COVERED AT ALL TIMES! There's nothing like going in to change a diaper and suddenly being awakened by a little sprinkle.

Enjoy the time you have your little ones. They grow up WAY too fast!

 

Adding to #2. Mine wasnt constipation.. It just hurt really really bad to go... TAKE all the meds they tell you too.. If you forget a stool softner.. you will be paying for it later... Ouch!!!

 

Great post, the mods should make this a sticky at the top of the page! These random humerous facts could actaully help alot of people!!! Anyways...

* If you have a c-section DO NOT - let me repeat that - DO NOT drink from a straw or drink anything carbonated....my nurses told me that it would help me to get out the gas that I had filled up with. Think about it...drinking through a straw...bubbles....air...carbonation....that was dumb. I was in pain so bad from gas for the next week before i could do "anything".

*Dont let the nurses tell you that you cant breastfeed b/c you have twins. Mine told me that and then took the babies away to feed them in the nursery. Stand up for what you want and they'll have to help you out however they can. If you want to breastfeed the babies, you can do it...it has been done, it's a little bit more difficult b/c there's two but it can be done.

* Like the op's said, modesty gets tossed out the window in the hospital. Be prepaired for the nurses to change your underwear and pads while you sit there unable to do a thing but say "I cant believe that someone else is changing my pad for me..." Also, take DH into the shower with you if you need help. It's hard to shower for the first time and bending over doesnt get easier just b/c the babies are out. DH was there to wash my legs and "other reigon" cause i couldnt....

*The sticker that they put on your forehead persay you have a c-section (may with a vaginal too but i dunno) is not a sticker that says "Loser"...i asked. It's a thermometer to monitor your temperature - kinda like the ones that stick on the side of a fishtank....but regardless...it does not say loser. (I asked for real.....guess that's what being nervous and the drugs do to you...)

Good luck ladies!!!!

 

Pack your bag early, i didnt and ended up going to the hospital with a piar of socks, underwear and my medication!!

Sleep when they sleep, i know there is a ton of cleaning and washing to be done but it can wait sleep is more important.

All modesty goes out the window when you are in labour but dont worry about it the nurses have seen it all before!

Do not try and be brave take all the medication they give you. Once i had my epidural i felt like a million dollars! x

 

This is a fantastic post. Please keep the advice coming!

 

QUOTE(Cocolucy @ Jul 9 2007, 07:50 PM) [snapback]323744[/snapback]
Well, I'm glad this came up--I had no idea that the water would keep flowing like that!!! :huh:



Me either, I thought once it broke it all came out at once, and that's it.

 

i want to add to the epidural post. when i had my daughter, i wanted my epidural when i was less than 3 cm dilated. i asked the nurse for it. she said 'they usually want you to wait.' so i asked 'what do i need to do or say to get one now?' and she said 'just what you said. i'll call the doctor.' it was wonderful! my husband says that i went from dr. jekyll to mr. hyde (or is it vice versa) once i had the epidural. i LOVED my nurse, but apparently i didn't have as much love for her before the pain meds!

 

QUOTE(tgbmomofthree @ Jul 10 2007, 09:29 AM) [snapback]324215[/snapback]
i want to add to the epidural post. when i had my daughter, i wanted my epidural when i was less than 3 cm dilated. i asked the nurse for it. she said 'they usually want you to wait.' so i asked 'what do i need to do or say to get one now?' and she said 'just what you said. i'll call the doctor.' it was wonderful! my husband says that i went from dr. jekyll to mr. hyde (or is it vice versa) once i had the epidural. i LOVED my nurse, but apparently i didn't have as much love for her before the pain meds!


Me too.. I had to wait till four too before I could get one.. and after like 7 or 8 they may not be able to get you one at alll.. THANK GOSH FOR EPIDURALS!!

 

All very good advice. As far as after the babies come. Don't try and do everything. I would get up and shower and put clean PJ's on. I would get everything I need (boppies are a lifesaver) and put it down on the coffee table. I would just spend the day on the couch rest and take care of my babies and eat. I wasn't at first and I was killing myself.Once I just focused on myself and the twins life got easier. everything else could get caught up.
Oh and this is a biggy. Its OK for them to cry!!!! If you need to go to the bathroom ,get some food ,whatever , its ok to put them in a safe place and let them cry. When you have a singleton you can tote them around, you can even go potty holding them but with twins its difficult so you have to learn to block out a little crying. We actually found out that our ds was actually overstimulated from us trying to soothe him and once we put him down and let him cry he started calming himself much much faster than if we did. We were staying up till 4 am trying to calm him and if we just put him in his swing he'd cry for 15 minutes and that was it!

 

QUOTE(Eyler07 @ Jul 10 2007, 11:03 AM) [snapback]324079[/snapback]
*The sticker that they put on your forehead persay you have a c-section (may with a vaginal too but i dunno) is not a sticker that says "Loser"...i asked. It's a thermometer to monitor your temperature - kinda like the ones that stick on the side of a fishtank....but regardless...it does not say loser. (I asked for real.....guess that's what being nervous and the drugs do to you...)

Good luck ladies!!!!



I didn't have a sticker, are you sure they didn't just TELL you it didn't say loser? lol :rotflmbo:

the babies first poops (meconium) will be black, nasty and stick to their bums (and other parts on boys) like nobody's business

If you have a boy and you get him circumsised don't freak out when you see it the first time after, it looks worse than it is, just change him alot and gob on the vaseline.

bring makeup if you want to look "hot" in your after delivery shots and make sure the person taking pictures knows how to use the camera

if you aren't too squeamish ask to see the umbilical cords and placenta, they are really cool looking and when else are you going to have a chance? for some reason I just really thought the cords looked neat, maybe it was all the drugs lol

stay hydrated and drink lots of water esp if you are BFing, it will help flush out all the drug after effects and don't be surprised that you are FAMISHED, but the hospital brings your meals right when you start to feed your babies... so learn to eat w/ one hand now or learn to love cold food

Ask for snacks!


Alyson

 

QUOTE(stbmomof3 @ Jul 9 2007, 05:15 PM) [snapback]323704[/snapback]
11. Install your carseats BEFORE you go into labor! You can even have them professionally installed at many police stations and fire departments, just call ahead.


This one is so true! And figure out how to adjust the straps before you are leaving the hospital. You have to carry the baby out in your arms. I thought we could bring in the carrier and adjust it and go. But since we couldn't me and DH were standing in the parking lot of the hospital trying to figure out how to adjust the straps to put the baby in the seat! We were such dorky new parents.

The babies can sleep in bouncy chairs or swings. They don't have to sleep in their cribs. It's okay...really!

oh, and if you DON'T want to BF - it's OKAY! Don't let anyone make you feel guilt or pressure you into something you don't want to do. You babies will be just fine on formula.

 

QUOTE(AWerner @ Jul 10 2007, 10:39 AM) [snapback]324344[/snapback]
if you aren't too squeamish ask to see the umbilical cords and placenta, they are really cool looking and when else are you going to have a chance? for some reason I just really thought the cords looked neat, maybe it was all the drugs lol


definitely ask to see the placenta! i'd been reading about that thing for so many months, i think i asked to see it before my asking to see my dd.

 

I thought of another -

Think carefully about what you need to pack for the hospital. I was having a c-section so I didn't need anything for labor and I never changed out of the hospital gowns - why ruin my clothes! You don't need a lot of stuff and you will have a TON to take home with you (stuff you take from the hospital for the babies) - just make things easy for yourself and don't bring a lot.

Also - I was able to put the girls in their car seats and carry them out - but bring some receiving blankets to roll up and put with them in the seats. Our girls were SMALL and were swimming in their seats.

Oh - and one more. When I left the hospital I still looked about 8 months pregnant - DON'T be shocked if you do too - it's OK

 

I thought of more too!

About the breastfeeding...like someone else mentioned, don't feel bad if you choose not to! I remember the nurses at the hospital making me feel SO terrible when I chose not to BF DS1. Yes, it's the best choice, but if YOU are uncomfortable with it, the babies will be too and it'll be a difficult process.

And along those lines, *never* be made to feel ashamed of the choices you make for your family.

Take a break if you need to. There were times when I just needed to go outside for five minutes and hear something other than crying, baby music or the sound of whatever informercial was on TV at 4am. I always put the boys someplace safe and either got in the shower or just went outside and sat on the front porch. They're okay and they will BE okay. But, if you don't have your sanity, you can't be the mom you need or want to be for them.

Onesies are the greatest and cheapest outfits ever. You can get them anywhere and not pay an arm and a leg. With as many times as you'll need to change them in the first few months, there's nothing easier than a onesie. Buy lots of them and save the nicer outfits for church, seeing family or outings.

 

This is all so incredibly helpful. Once the topic slows down, I'm going to copy it into a word document to have around nearer to delivery. I also think I'm going to have dh read this post.

 

Your stomach will not go back to normal after you have the baby. It will take weeks and your stomach will be kind of gross and feel like jello.

 

QUOTE(TrinaP @ Jul 10 2007, 04:10 PM) [snapback]324507[/snapback]
Your stomach will not go back to normal after you have the baby. It will take weeks and your stomach will be kind of gross and feel like jello.



I was just going to post that under NO circumstances are you to look at yourself naked in a full lenght mirror for at least a week following delivery!!!

This is for the husbands - per my dh!!
There are some things that don't need to be seen (the placenta freaked him out!) - so men, just look into your wife's eyes during labor and don't go any further down than that! When they have you cut the cord - just look at your beautiful baby!

 

Another thing - ask for your children's full medical records when you leave the hospital. There were some things that we were told about in the hospital that would have been helpful. It wasn't until months later when ds got a low iron score that we learned he had some unusual findings from some of his newborn blood screanings - we could have found out much sooner that he had a condition called Alpha Thalesima Trait. Also, records indicated he was "jumpy" following delivery, but we were never told. I was also curious as to what all he had been tested for and the only real way to find out is if you get the medical records released to you.


About pain medication - everyone has a different tolerance for pain. Don't feel bad if you have a low tolerance (believe me, it CAN'T be lower than mine!). My contractions just going for 1 - 2 cm dialated almost killed me - and it was only for 1/2 hour! Some ladies don't even think to ask for pain medication until 8 or 9 cm.

There is a LOT of blood following delivery. The nurses will come a press on your belly and blood will more than likely just flow out. This is a very natural process, just don't be surprised.

While "most" women have delayed periods if they exclusively bf - not "all" nursing moms are so lucky. I bleed for around 2 1/2 weeks following delivery, then stopped. A few days later I started bleeding again "like" a normal period. I thought since I was nursing my post pardum bleeding started again. The doctor checked me and said "nope, I think your menses started". It lasted the normal lenght of a regular period. 3 weeks later - another period! Then, I went back to my regular 28 day cycle all the while exclusivey bfing!

 

QUOTE(Eyler07 @ Jul 10 2007, 11:03 AM) [snapback]324079[/snapback]
Great post, the mods should make this a sticky at the top of the page! These random humerous facts could actaully help alot of people!!! Anyways...

* If you have a c-section DO NOT - let me repeat that - DO NOT drink from a straw or drink anything carbonated....my nurses told me that it would help me to get out the gas that I had filled up with. Think about it...drinking through a straw...bubbles....air...carbonation....that was dumb. I was in pain so bad from gas for the next week before i could do "anything".

*Dont let the nurses tell you that you cant breastfeed b/c you have twins. Mine told me that and then took the babies away to feed them in the nursery. Stand up for what you want and they'll have to help you out however they can. If you want to breastfeed the babies, you can do it...it has been done, it's a little bit more difficult b/c there's two but it can be done.

* Like the op's said, modesty gets tossed out the window in the hospital. Be prepaired for the nurses to change your underwear and pads while you sit there unable to do a thing but say "I cant believe that someone else is changing my pad for me..." Also, take DH into the shower with you if you need help. It's hard to shower for the first time and bending over doesnt get easier just b/c the babies are out. DH was there to wash my legs and "other reigon" cause i couldnt....

*The sticker that they put on your forehead persay you have a c-section (may with a vaginal too but i dunno) is not a sticker that says "Loser"...i asked. It's a thermometer to monitor your temperature - kinda like the ones that stick on the side of a fishtank....but regardless...it does not say loser. (I asked for real.....guess that's what being nervous and the drugs do to you...)

Good luck ladies!!!!